Magical Girls, Transform! Now a Spell

So, Magical Girls. I've written several classes for them, but what if that's not what you want? You just want like, a taste? Well, one of my players unlocked it, you see.

There is a notable NPC in my setting that honestly deserves his own post at some point, probably; he's one of the Celestial Lords, presiding over the Neutral Plane of Elysium, Paimon is the name he wears, stolen from a devil prince. Paimon is the highest-level Princess in the planes, and possesses divinity. While he does not keep a religion or have a church in his name, it is inevitable that people will worship him whether or wants it or not. In his case, one must merely hold his spiritual and moral values, which are idealistic, innocent, and arguably naive and childish to an extreme. But... if you have the power to make that sort of world, why not reach for it?

Any Cleric, or Magic-User in a pact with Paimon, may cast the following spell: due to his greaser/rock n' roll tastes, its aesthetic is according, but just relabel shit to suit your campaign.

Custom Spell: Rock n' Roll REVOLUTION!
Cleric 1
Duration: Special
Range: Touch

This spell channels the spirit of Paimon, Sorcerer of Smiles, right into a willing vessel touched by the caster. If the subject wants power for the sake of spreading Hope, protecting Love, ending Suffering, and giving evil Salvation, then they can mantle the radiant soul of the Sorcerer of Smiles, becoming one of his angelic Gangsters of Love. This is literal; the transformation is coupled with a special determination or emotional impetus, so if you have a goal in mind, or a strong emotion, the transformation lasts until it is resolved. For instance, if you transform out of worry for someone's life, you change back as soon as you feel relieved for their safety. On the other hand, if you're transforming for the sake of hurrying to acquire a cure for a friend's disease from a horrid tomb, you can probably maintain it for a whole dungeon delve, even if a puzzle requires you wait for hours. In any case, you never un-transform when it'd be dangerously inconvenient to do so, such as if you're maintaining a power keeping you safe.

This spell has many effects, as the Gangster of Love transforms, becoming a prettier, sexier, cooler version of themselves; details are variable but a pompadour (often with streaks of their Kokoro color) and a higher level of glam is constant. This form allows the subject to add their Charisma modifer to AC, Saving Throws, and Attack Rolls. If they lack a positive Charisma modifier, they still gain a +1 benefit. In this form, the Gangster radiates a Goodliness that puts even the brightest Paladins to a pale, dim shame. They are simply the brightest this world has to offer.

Secondly, the Gangster of Love gains an indestructible focus tentatively called a Lucky Strike, though they usually have their own form and names. A Lucky Strike can be used as a melee weapon that deals 1d6-1 damage. However, while this damage is fully effective on fiends and undead and creatures of pure evil (ignoring resistances and immunities), it only deals non-lethal damage on anyone else, and any such people defeated by it instead rolls a Morale check against the Power of Friendship. The Lucky Strike is also a necessary focus for using Pomp Powers; without it, they cost twice as many Pomp Points.

A Gangster of Love has Pomp Points equal to their Level+1, and each Pomp Power costs 1 point to use. The spell and transformation typically ends when you run out of Pomp Points, though your Determination might manage to make it persist a bit longer. Every Gangster has the Shining Smile Beam, a magical laser that deals 1d6+Level damage and follows the same rules as melee with the Lucky Strike. At higher spell levels, add +1d6 to the damage die. Each Gangster also rolls 2d6 to determine a theme color and power, which is set for that person forever. See "Colored Kokoro."

Finally, if the Gangster has an animal companion or familiar they're emotionally connected to, they can elevate it into a Greaser Mascot. Their form is augmented to a specific form based on the Gangster's Level, and gains a power based on a d6 table (See "Mascot Mutations"). The Gangster cannot select a different companion as long as their current one is alive.

If this spell is cast at higher levels, the benefits are all magnified, changing the Pomp Points to Character Level+Spell Level, and allowing a Gangster to roll a new color to have simultaneously with their original, so that a 7th level casting makes you a literal Rainbow of seven-colored powers (though these are also set and consistent even on additional castings).

There is a danger to this spell, however. Every time it is cast, there's a 1-in-6 chance that 1d3 Heartaches are born from the Darkness to oppose the brightest of Lights.

Colored Kokoro (2d6)
2. Pink: Rose Healing Serenade!
3. Red: Crimson Magma Escalation!
4. Orange: Citrus Shielding Sphere!
5. Yellow: Luminous Valor Sunshine!
6. Green:Verdant Vine Binding!
7. Teal: Seafoam Pearl Tsunami!
8. Blue: Eternal Blue Ascent!
9: Purple: Royal Passion Illusion!
10. Black: Dark Matter Transmutation!
11. White:White Angel Honeymoon Kiss!
12. Prismatic: Roll a different color every time you transform!

Pink Healing Serenade: This Pomp Power wraps the subject touched in a rose-shaped bubble of pink light, and heals them 2d6+Gangster's Level in Hit Points. This Power also cures all diseases, normal or magical, though magical diseases gain a saving throw to resist.
At Higher spell levels, add another die of healing to this powers, and give an increasing penalty to the saving throws of magical plagues.

Crimson Magma Escalation: The Gangster creates an explosion of lava streams, ash clouds and debris made entirely of Love energy. This impressive display levels an area around the character (60 ft radius) and inflicts 1d6-1 damage (save for half damage) in the affected area for 1d3 rounds.
At Higher spell levels, add another dice of damage to this power, increase the range by ten feet, and the duration by another 1d3.

Citrus Shielding Sphere: This Power creates an orange bubble big enough to hold the Gangster and up to four friends; the bubble can be maintained for an hour, and protects against all conditions, including the vacuum of space, and also blocks all attacks. Roll a number of d3s equal to 1/2 the Gangster's HD, minimum 1; that's how much punishment a Sphere can take.
At Higher spell levels, add another level to the bubble's duration, another friend the bubble can hold, and increase the bubble's Hit Dice by a step, accordingly: 1d3>1d4>1d6>1d8>1d10>1d12>1d20

Luminous Valor Sunshine: The Gangster can surround a touched ally in a yellow aura, that gives them a quasi-Gangster state. Though they don't get any Pomp Points or Pomp Powers or even a transformation, they are able to add your Charisma modifier to their attack rolls, AC, and Saves. This automatically expires at the end of an encounter/scene, if the Gangster's transformation is cancelled, or if the subject takes enough damage to incapacitate them.
At Higher Spell Levels, increase the duration of this Power by an additional encounter/scene, and add a +1 bonus to all the above things modified.

Verdant Vine Binding: Glowing green energy vines grow from the ground and coil around existing terrain such as wires and bridges, and snag a target. A successful saving throw avoids the trap, otherwise the person bound by this Pomp Power is restrained for 2d6 turns.
At Higher Spell Levels, you may target an additional target and add a die to the turns restrained.

Eternal Blue Ascent: This Power allows the Gangster to grow glowing white energy wings, and fly at three times their normal movement speed. They can carry up to four people with this power with tactile telekinesis, and this power lasts three minutes per level.
At Higher Spell Levels, you may carry an additional person and last an additional minute per level.

Seafoam Pearl Tsunami: The Gangster transforms a landscape into rubble with a tsunami wave of teal-colored energy that tears down all structures in an area around the character (60 ft radius) and hits with a 1d6 + Level damage (save for half damage). This power also allows the Gangster and four people to breathe underwater for three minutes per level.
At Higher spell Levels, you may grant an additional person waterbreathing an add an extra die of damage.

Royal Passion Illusion: A purple haze is released in a hundred foot fog around the Gangster, who may choose to target as many targets as equals his level, or focus on one target who takes the Gangster's Charisma modifier as a penalty to the Saving throw; a target cannot have more HD than the level of the Gangster. On a failed Save, subjects are subjected to a mesmerized state where they are shown whatever false reality the Gangster desires. This lasts for 2d6 rounds, and they immediately snap out of it if they take any damage.
At Higher Spell Levels, add another die to the rounds duration,and add an extra target you can effect with this power (and can effect targets of +1 HD to the caster for each spell level).

Dark Matter Transmutation: The Gangster must declare how the power is being used:
1. The Gangster may take the shape of any object or creature and acquires abilities of the new creature (flight, bite, claws, etc.), but retains the character’s Hit Points, intelligence and combat skill. Powers or special abilities are lost while transformed, but not Gangster abilities. The Referee may allow a better armor class due to small size, or armored hide. Other details must be decided by the Referee as the character transforms. This form lasts one hour per level of the Gangster.
2. Alternately, the Gangster may transform another creature into a different creature. This creature gains the abilities of the new form, but keeps the intelligence and Hit Points of the original form. Powers or special abilities are lost while transformed. The spell’s range is 60 feet. The power lasts for 24 hours per level of the Gangster.
This power does not improve with Higher Spell Levels.

White Angel Honeymoon Kiss: The Gangster channels Paimon's celestial essence without any color-filter; while there is flashing lights and effects and messianic imagery, there is no beam to dodge or make contact with. A subject is merely selected; a friendly target is healed 2d6+Gangster's Level in HP and cured of diseases as with Pink Healing Serenade, or they may be healed of a drained level, a curse, or some other malady that normally requires a saving throw. A hostile target can be given an equivalent amount of damage, or purified of curses, possession, or whatever else, though on all cases they are entitled to a Save.
At Higher Spell Levels, this power adds another dice to related factors, and also allows for greater miracles. At 2nd level, hostilities take your Charisma modifier as a penalty to the saving throw. At 3rd level, you are able to to purify mutations and regenerate permanent injuries and disfigurements. At 4th level, you are not only able to drive out possessing forces but Banish them. At 5th level, you are able to purify magical effects as if you Dispelled them. At 6th level, you can revive the dead, and at 7th level, you can purify atoning evil creatures, turning fiends into celestial beings, undead into benevolent guardian forces, and aberrations into entirely unique otherworldly beings of Goodliness.

In Addition to all of the above, when cast as a 7th level spell (or whatever is your maximum for Clerics), a Gangster of Love is capable of a genuine miracle. A Gangster can cast Wish, and it will come true without fail, as long as the Wish is genuinely selfless, purehearted, and aimed toward making the world a better place in some way or done for someone's benefit. However, not only does this cancel the transformation, but it also makes the caster of this spell unable to cast it again, at any spell-level, for a full week.

 MASCOTS
An ordinary animal, augmented by the power of magic. Whatever the creature is, the Gangster must have a meaningful emotional attachment to it. While transformed, the animal gains some sort of obviously unnatural feature. Antennae or butterfly wings on a cat, a pastel fur pattern, whatever. Given the aesthetic of the Sorcerer of Smiles, it's also possible to give this bond (as well as temporary intelligence) to a favored vehicle, especially motorcycles and personal cars. Things like large ships are usually too big for the enchantment to take root. As a reminder, a bond with a Mascot is permanent even when the spell is over. When the spell is recast, the Gangster must share his power with the same Mascot unless it is dead or destroyed.

Mascots improve at a rate equal to the Gangster's level.
1-4: Kawaii
5-8: Evolved
9+: Mythic

Use these stats unless the creature innately has better:

KAWAII:
AC: 14
HD: 2
Attacks: 1d6
Saves: As Master's
Special: Roll once on the Mascot Mutation table.

EVOLVED:
AC: 15
HD: 5
Attacks: 2d6, x2 attacks
Saves: As Master's
Special: Roll twice on the Mascot Mutation table.

MYTHIC:
AC: 17
HD: 8
Attacks: 4d6, x3 Attacks
Saves: As Master's
Special: Roll thrice on the Mascot Mutations table.

MASCOT MUTATIONS
1. Flight
2. Tough Skin (+4 AC)
3. Ranged Attack (As Shining Smile Beam, but 1d6+2 damage, usable as many times as the creature's HD per transformation)
4. Three times as fast
5. +2d6 damage to attacks
6. Magical! (Roll a random spell it can use; Kawaiis get a 1st level spell they can use 1x a transformation; Evolved can use their 1st level spell 3x now, and gain a 3rd level spell they can use 1x. Mythics can use their 1st-level at-will, their 3rd-level 3x, and now gain a 5th level spell they can use 1x.)

And finally...Heartaches are shadowy monsters that come out of the Darkness to target these beacons of Light. 1d3 of them are summoned on every 1-in-6 chance of the Gangster of Love transformation as well as every hour the transformation is maintained and whenever the Gangster fails a Save VS Magic, with the number of Heartaches increasing at every spell level, as follows: 1d3>1d4>1d6>1d8>1d10>1d12>1d20

HEARTACHE
AC: 15
HD: 5
Attacks: Enervation

Heartaches are shadow beings that are immune to any mental effects such as Sleep, or Charm, or anything else. They don't even have intelligence for a Gangster of Love to redeem; they're just pure badness. They take half damage from anything except the attacks and powers of a Gangster of Love, but their own attacks don't do damage. Those hit by a Heartache must make a Save VS Death (or CON, or Doom, or whatever) or lose a level. This level always heals back after 24 hours of rest, and multiple levels will still all heal at once, but you lose all the benefits of the level until then. If a target is fully drained of all levels, they can be struck once more only, and then are drained into a husk, which dissipates like pillar of salt.

Heartaches take -2 to AC and all their rolls in full sunlight or in happy environments. Cheerful music, happy crowds of people, all of these things damper their essence.

If a Heartache drains a Gangster of Love's levels, there's a reality-warping paradox effect. Everyone in the area, friend and foe, is now subject to Wild Magic rolls for their supernatural abilities. This aura lasts for as long as the Heartache menace is present, and the range is as far as the Heartache and/or the Gangster can be observed. Wild Magic is rolled with Disadvantage during this event; meaning roll two results on the table and take whichever one is worse for the Gangster, in particular. The more likely it is to make their heart ache, the better.

The Deck of Manly Things

Yea I know this is stupid, shut up. We got too much pretty girly stuff on this blog.

The Fool: You become capable of riding any four-legged beast. They instantly recognize you as alpha and obey standard horsemanship commands, even if they shouldn't.

The Magician: If you are a woman, you become a man. If you are a feeble man or a wimp, you become brawny and strong. If you are hairless, you become hirsute. If you're already all these things, you become so masculine that it's kinda toxic. You become emotionally insensitive, unconsciously bigoted, and you become unable to tolerate doing unManly things.

The High Priestess: You are now an inexhaustible lover. She never gets pregnant and you never get crabs or diseases. You're great at sex and everyone in town seems to know.

The Empress: You are embued with a magical 'MOM' tattoo on your upper arm. It alerts you if she is in trouble and reminds you to get her something nice on her birthday. She appreciates your visits, but understands that you're busy saving the world. If your mom isn't alive, you will never love, cry, or smile again.

The Emperor: Your entire wardrobe is replaced with manly versions. Everything you wear is incredibly cool, made of leather, and provides at least +4 AC. Your existing armor, if any is modified with sculpted abs and pecs. You invent Aviator shades.

The Hierophant: You know the law, and can argue it rationally and eloquently. If you were chaotic, you become neutral. If neutral, you become lawful. If the local law enforcement are overwhelmed (aren't they always), they put a badge on you before you leave the tavern, mutating you closer to the stereotype of a scary, tough cop.

The Lovers: Everywhere you go, unimaginably beautiful young women throw themselves at you shamelessly. You may indulge in their attention as much as you want, but you never become attached to any one female.

The Chariot: At any body of water you need to cross, you grapple a shark, who swims you to the other side. You subtly become more like a pirate.

The Justice: You become a master at arm wrestling. No one can beat you.

The Hermit: You grow a massive, manly beard. Even Dwarves will envy your beard. It has an AC of 15, is hard hard to break as diamond, and can lift 300 lbs.

The Wheel of Fortune: In every man's life, there comes a time when he has to make a decision. You choose BACON. You can now cast Grease at-will, due to having eaten so much bacon without washing your hands.

The Fortitude: You become capable of skinning and cooking anything you kill. You have an infinite supply of barbeque sauce. You can drink any volume of alcohol with no negative consequences. Your diet consists solely of meat and ale.

The Hanged Man: You become significantly well-endowed. Yes, just that one anatomical part. You will need a new codpiece for your armor, and probably looser-fitting pants. You have a third equipment slot for magic rings.

The Death: It takes enough arrows to darken the sky, or a moon crashing on you, or a similarly insane amount of awesomeness to kill you. You are immune to disease, papercuts, gangrene and old age.

The Temperance: What? There's no temperance in being manly. You rip up the card, eat it, and knock out an opponent by spitting it at them. Someone yells "Blackjack" and you win 100 gold.

The Devil: You encounter an Owlbear, and you wrestle it to the ground bare-handed. You may choose to slay the Owlbear and wear its coat (which makes monstrous humanoids afraid of you forever), or it will follow you as its new pack leader (which makes humanoids afraid of you forever).

The Tower: You become impervious to fall damage. Regardless of height, you land on your feet, or crouched with your fist to the ground. You leave craters in dirt, and crack stone.

The Star: Forever more, after you have defeated an enemy, something behind you explodes!

The Moon: You become immune to fear. You stand brave in front of Ancient Wyrms and Liches alike. While it doesn't make you invincible, you think that you are.

The Sun: You become immune to fire, even magical. You can walk across coals, strike a match on your knee, and start a fire with just two sticks.

The Judgement: You can spot an unmanly man, regardless of magic or disguise. You immediately intimidate any man lesser than yourself, and can spend a Downtime/Haven turn making such a man half as manly as you are.

The World: Your lifting and carry limit skyrocket. You can carry up to 30 times your own body weight without difficulty or encumbrance.

Far Realms Fuckery

This is meant to be used as Table E2 of my Wild Magic Table, separated into its own post for length. But honestly you could also just use it to generate some weird Outer Planes and general eldritch bullshit. The Far Realms are basically lovecraftian/chaotic mindmelting nonsense.

Table E2 (Far Realms Fuckery)

• This table mentions Pseudonatural creatures. Give them the following traits: They are always extraplanar creatures, can cast True Strike 1/day, possess resistance to Acid, Electricity, Spells, and Damage equal to their HD in whatever system you use, and have the ability to turn into tentacled horrorforms, which doesn't change their statistics but causes observers to take a -1 penalty (or 5e-style Disadvantage, if you use that) to their attack rolls equal to the creature's HD due to non-euclidean geometries. Additionally, all of them possess human-level intelligence or greater. If none of this is useful or interesting and you've got cooler eldritch nonsense use that.
• Additionally, “layers” are mentioned. These effects represent layers of an alternate plane of existence, but if these encounters effect the Material Plane, treat them as basically extradimensional incursions.

1 Slow Light: Light only moves 30 feet a round; beyond that, players see events as if they occurred 1 or more rounds ago. Maximum movement speed is capped at 30 feet. Movement gives a strange blue and red-shifting effect.

2 Hard Air, Soft Ground: Air becomes solid, and everyone suffocates unless they can "dig through the air" into the ground, which has the consistency of water and is breathable. Treat air as if it were dirt or sand.

3 Evil Gravity: Gravity is sentient and malevolent, cutting off gravity and reversing gravity as the spell, Caster Level 20, at least once a round to harass all living creatures. Previous gravity alterations end when a new instance begins.

4 Damage Mirror: Attacks on opponents injure yourself, attacks on yourself injure the nearest creature instead.

5 Fractal Element: A 6th element beyond acid, cold, electric, fire, and sonic appears as fractal crystals which glow, feel cold to the touch, and spread like fire. If touched, make a saving throw to avoid catching "on fractal" for 4d6 damage a round. It can only be "put out" by taking sonic damage.

6 Character Burning: The environment here is on fire that is prismatic in hue. Any fire damage taken here does no hit point damage, but instead removes one aspect of the character per round, starting with alignment, templates, race, then individual class levels. If a character takes effective negative levels equal to its HD, it is turned into a level 0 True Neutral NPC human with no skills or abilities. This is a curse effect and can be undone by Remove Curse.

7 Cursed Dice: All dice results are now backwards. 20s are 1s on a d20, 4s become 2s on a d6, and so on and so forth. No one knows it is due to their dice.

8 Bear Hell: All opponents appear as bears, regardless of what their stats are. Every round, one item in a random character's hand turns into a brown bear, which probably tries to maul them, then run away. If the character is holding nothing, they must make a saving throw or become an NPC bear. Those items and creatures taken outside the bear effect revert to normal.

9 Age Inversion: Young creatures become venerable, venerable becomes young, middle age becomes old, and old becomes middle age. Take the penalties and bonuses as appropriate. The age inversion ends when you leave the affected area.

10 Hurting Spheres: Floating spheres dominate this area. Each round, if a character does not deal at least 1 point of damage to the spheres, they take 1d6 nonlethal damage, then lethal damage once their nonlethal damage equals their total HP. The spheres themselves have infinite HP and are indestructible.

11 Surface Walker: Jumping is impossible, and you can walk along any surface, including on the ceiling. You are never permitted to leave contact with a surface for any reason.

12 Distance Flux: In the first round, distances work as normal. In the second round, squares are 10 feet. In the third, squares are 15 feet. In the fourth, they are 0.5 feet. The pattern resets on the fifth. Movement and other distances are all affected.

13 Spellfire: All spellcasting converts the intended spell into a bolt of energy dealing 1d6 + 1d6 damage per spell level to its intended target.

14 Mental Focus Shuffle: Your STR is replaced by your INT, your DEX is replaced by your WIS, and your CON is replaced by your CHA.

15 Physical Focus Shuffle: Your INT is replaced by your STR, your WIS is replaced by your DEX, and your CHA is replaced by your CON.

16 Tower of Babel: No one can understand each others' languages anymore, not even through magic. Language does not exist as a concept.

17 Loved Enemies: Opponents in this area appear as various party members or loved ones, regardless of their actual abilities and stats. Killing them causes the actual person they duplicate to take the excess fatal damage, and the attacker becomes aware of this fact just before they make the finishing blow, allowing them to pull back with a Saving Throw.

18 Living Items: All items become sentient and proceed to angrily swear at and complement various creatures at random, sometimes doing both to the same creature.

19 Atmosdissappear: Roll 1d4. On a 1, the air pressure is too high and everyone takes 1d6 damage; on a 2, there is no air, resulting in 1d6 damage and suffocation; on a 3, there is air, but it is unbreathable, leading to suffocation; on a 4, the air is normal. The air changes every 1d4 rounds.

20 Strobe: Each round, the room is either brightly lit (everyone is dazzled) or pitch dark (everyone is blind, even those with darkvision). Spells which illuminate or darken do not function against their opposite, rendering them useless. After 1 minute, everyone gets a headache, resulting in −2 Concentration, Perception, and Search checks (whatever those mean in your games) for as long as they remain in the area.

21 Bent Light, Roaring Sound: Beyond 20 feet, all creatures seem blurred. Beyond 40 feet, all creatures seem displaced. Beyond 60 feet, vision is impossible as it melts into a swirl of colors. Sound propagates well here; all sonic damage deals 50% more damage. Any creatures discovered here are blind, with blindsight out to 30 feet + 10 feet per HD.

22 Muffled Sound, Blinding Light: Beyond 20 feet, all Listen checks take a −4 penalty and sonic damage is reduced by an appropriate damage size. Beyond 40 feet, all Listen checks take a −8 penalty and sonic damage is reduced to minimum. Beyond 60 feet, hearing is impossible and sonic damage cannot travel. Light is extra bright here; all sources dazzle, sources which dazzle blind, and sources which blind blind permanently and deal 1d6 points of damage per level of the effect (1d6 for non-magical sources).

23 Crossing of Essence: Every round, two traits switch between two creatures, such as their Strength score, their hit points, their alignment, their body parts, or any other suitable aspect of their character. If the creature is alone, it swaps its body parts or things in places they don't make sense, such as gaining your +1 longsword as your new Dexterity score while you fight with a Dexterity 13.

24 The Dollhouse: Everything seems artificial and fake somehow, yet picture-perfect. Enemies are puppet-like in their movements and devoid of details. Those grappled by the opponents must make a saving throw or become puppeted as the others, compelled as if affected by Dominate Monster with permanent duration unless some fine invisible strings are cut with a Ghost Touch weapon. The strings have Hardness 0 and 5 HP. The dollhouse is "played with" by a fantastic invincible creature which is not beyond grappling you directly (+100 to grapple) and moving you at its whim if you go outside of The Dollhouse, though it never directly injures you.

25 Frictionless Step: If you move more than 5 feet a round in this area, you immediately move an infinite distance in your chosen direction until you hit something (up to 500 feet every round), where you stop instantly without harm. You provoke attacks of opportunity as normal for this uncontrolled movement. It's best to apply this effect where there are walls or creatures in the way to stop their passage.

26 Hard Angle: It is easier to change one's absolute speed rather than direction of movement, so all creatures walk, burrow, climb, fly, and swim as if they had a fly maneuverability of clumsy.

27 Snapshot in Time: The landscape is in a permanent Time Stop, though creatures are unaffected. If they take damage, however, they must make a saving throw or become frozen in time for 1 round + 1 round per 5 points of damage, as if stuck in Time Stop.

28 Misspelling: All spells are corrupted into corruptions, such as Animate Dead becoming Animate Red, or Detect Chaos becomes Detect Kiosk. Have fun with this.

29 Slice of Truth: The surroundings appear as a flat surface, typically a gridwork or however your game table appears, including other objects on the table which cannot be reached but can be seen beyond the "invisible borders of the grid". Characters appear to be statues, not necessarily identical to their real appearances. While unable to move arms and legs, this does not prevent moving, attacks, and other interactions. The PCs simply cannot comprehend that they are minis on a map. If there are no minis or map, the PCs and monsters are invisible to themselves and others, and only able to "see" the surrounding terrain and various giants around them which ignore their presence.

30 Spiral: Every round, creatures must make a saving throw or have their limbs start bending into spiral shapes, giving a −1 penalty to attack, damage, and AC. Strangely, this seems pleasurable, and so creatures that succumb take a −1 penalty on the next check. The effects are cumulative. Once a creature has a penalty equal to or greater than its HD, it twists completely into an immortal, immobile, eternally gleeful, and impossibly twisted spiral shape with Regeneration 15 per round bypassed by nothing, and cannot be saved by anything short of Wish.

31 Infinite Wounds: Any wounds dealt or received in this effect have the effect repeat every round, forever. Remove Curse or a Heal which brings the target to full hit points removes this effect.

32 Singularity: A square in the room acts as a singularity. Creatures can approach it or move around it, but cannot retreat from it. Entering the square is fatal, and the landscape distorts the closer you get to it. Escape is only possible by waiting; it will vanish in a 10d6 Fireball after 1 minute of non-interaction.

33 Shadow Puppets: A strong light source shines from one direction of the area, one which can possibly be moved. All opponents appear as if shadows. Attacking them will result in a miss, but attacking them one square off where your shadow will be projected results in the ability to hit them. Moving the light source moves where your shadow projects. Complete darkness is dangerous, as you are teleported randomly 1d6×10 feet in random directions each round.

34 Hecatoncheires: Each minute, roll 1d5 (that is, a 1d10 in half). On a 1, lose two limbs of your choice. On a 2, lose one limb. On a 3, no limbs are lost. On a 4, gain one limb. On a 5, gain two limbs. The limbs gained or replaced are always alien and horrible. Magic armor and items adjust to your new mutations if possible, falling at your feet otherwise. The effect fades one minute after leaving the effect, returning your normal limbs and body parts.

35 Blood Rain: Blood wells up from the ground and starts to rain upwards against the pull of gravity.

36 Thing: Bone hands and fingers well up from the ground, snatching at everyone upon it. All creatures touching the ground must make a saving throw or be immobilized for one round. Those who save are instead entangled.

37 Thick Air: The air becomes thick enough where you need to make swim checks to move, and you treat yourself as if you were underwater for the purposes of movement and attacks.

38 Easter Plane: A room full of marshmallow peeps. They don't do anything, but they're watching, and they are everywhere. A close-up look reveals the eyes are real. However, they are still edible. If anyone eats more than 9, they must make a save or be sickened for 1 hour.

39 Inside Out: Characters turn inside out. Somehow, this doesn't hurt or kill you. Attempted sneak attacks and critical hit confirmations get a +4 bonus against all creatures.

40 Malicious Weaponry: All weapons animate as if Dancing Weapons and try to murder their users, unless the user grasps the weapon and makes a save to control it. The weapon uses the attack, Strength, and damage of its user.

41 Erratic Time Flux: Every round, creatures must make a save. Those that make the save are affected by a Haste spell, but those that fail the save are affected by a Slow spell.

42 Erratic Space Warp: Every round, creatures must make a save or be teleported in a random unoccupied direction 1d4 squares away.

43 Spore Land: Healing no longer functions, and any healing instead creates a number of tiny duplicates of the creature equal to the amount of damage to be healed. These duplicates grow on the skin, fall off, and run aimlessly around until they perish shortly after.

44 Blood Weird: Every slashing or piercing wound taken deals double damage, but grants the victim a natural primary tentacle attack that deals 1d4 bludgeoning damage (for Medium creatures) plus strength. Multiple wounds are cumulative, and tentacles last for 1 round.

45 Touched By Fate: When this result is rolled, everything seems normal, but attacks done to another leave a brief glowing mark. Opponents struck during this round are bonded by fate; even if the creature dies, it will respawn and return for revenge sometime later during the course of a year. Respawned creatures are compelled to destroy their target, and will return to normal (possibly returning to being dead) afterward. Detect Magic can determine the attacker is cursed, and Remove Curse or a stronger effect can remove the curse.

46 Fumbles the Porcupine: Porcupines rain from the sky and get everywhere. For 1 round, all rolls are natural 1s, unless a natural 1 is rolled, in which case it is treated as a 20 and automatically confirmed if needed. For each natural 1, even a skill check, the creature takes 1d4 piercing damage from the scattering porcupines. They vanish 1 round later.

47 Freaky Friday: Pass all character sheets to your right, switching characters. Characters have switched bodies with one another and have access to their abilities, stats, and other attributes, but retain their normal alignment and personality. The change remains for 1 hour.

48 Sputnik the Horse: A flying golden horse appears overhead, granting good luck to all creatures. For 1 round, all rolls are natural 20s, unless a natural 20 is rolled, in which case it is automatically confirmed. Effects which trigger on a natural 20, such as Vorpal weapons, do not occur unless you actually have rolled a 20.

49 Grass Battle: The floor becomes sentient and attacks, becoming fluid and able to make slam attacks as if it were a massive ooze. It attacks with a +20 to-hit and deals 5d6 damage, and may make one attack to each creature per round. It has a reach of 5 feet and cannot attack creatures flying higher than 5 feet.

50 Inside Out (Oh God It Hurts!): All creatures turn inside out, a painful process which results in a −1 morale penalty to attack. The creature is otherwise unharmed and can survive in this state, but as their organs are exposed, it grants attackers a +4 bonus to confirm critical hits against them. This is a curse and can be removed by Remove Curse.

51 Repulsion: The Realm suddenly tries to repulse every creature who is not a Aberration. All non-Aberrations must make a save or be magically repulsed to a random Plane, and those that make their save are instead just magically moved 1D100 layers (as in, effects on this table) away from the effect.

52 The Seeding: A great golden seed falls from high above, and buries itself down into the ground when it hits. 1d4 rounds later, a great tree springs forth from the ground and a single big golden egg sits on the tree. If the egg is touched, it explodes. Roll 1d6 for the following:

1) An Empowered Fireball, Caster Level 15 2) A Stinking Cloud, Caster Level 15 3) A Wail of the Banshee, Caster Level 15 4) Like 1, but anyone damaged by the fireball must also make a save or be affected by Hideous Laughter. 5) As 2, but anyone who fails the save is also affected by Maddening Scream. 6) As 3, but any creature killed by the wail is fully returned back to life 1d12 rounds after they died as a pseudonatural being.

53 Hungry Eyes: The DM proceeds to describe other creatures, including PCs, as various food products without any indication that it is strange, such as calmly stating how the dire watermelon attacks with its claws. The food-vision has no effect on abilities, nor does it make the creatures actually edible. The food vision effect goes away after the characters have had a full meal.

54 Genetic Lotto: If a creature dies in the area of effect of this occurrence, they Reincarnate as the spell 3 rounds later into another race (including monsters, but not animals). The reincarnation is not perfect and usually has artifacts of their last race within, such as patches of green skin on an orc turned human, or pointy ears on an elf turned dwarf. Creatures will continue to respawn however many times they are killed, but after respawning 1d4+2 times, a creature will next respawn as a pitiful lump of flesh and limbs of random races they have reincarnated as. Creatures which have suffered this fate are helpless, immobile, and immortal, needing no food, sleep, or breath. Future death attempts only make the mutant worse; it can only be cured by leaving the affected area and reincarnating there, or using miracle or wish to restore the natural form. Simply reviving them will not help, as it will only revive their helpless blob state.

55 Studio Audience: Creatures feel like they're being watched. All actions made by all creatures get reactions from an invisible audience, responding to funny events with laughing (even if it's not very funny), kindness with "awwws", successful skill checks and shows of bravado with applause, and any matter of innuendo with "wooooooo" sounds. Even normal events like hitting people with swords and tripping have cartoon sound effects. It has no mechanical effect beyond making it impossible to move silently with the constant "creeping around" soundtrack and other problems. This lasts as long as the creatures are on the layer and 1d4 hours after.

56 No-See-Ums: The bodies of all creatures become invisible as by greater invisibility, but clothing, items, and other gear do not. This benefit grants a 20% miss chance, or complete invisibility if the creature is naked and devoid of items. Bodily fluids and consumed food remain or become invisible. This lasts for 24 hours.

57 Fatal Fists, Blunt Blades: All lethal damage becomes non-lethal. Meanwhile, all nonlethal damage becomes lethal and deals twice as much damage as normal. Attempts to deal nonlethal damage (and thus lethal after the change) by taking −4 function, but do not double in damage. The effect vanishes after leaving the area.

58 Hole: A toothy maw-like hole appears under a random creature, provoking a save vs falling in. The pit appears to be bottomless and lined with teeth and strange colors. Each round, the pit expands in a 5 foot radius, letting anything in its path fall in until it eventually consumes the entire layer. Those who fall in are randomly shifted to another plane besides the Far Realm, and there is a 20% chance that they are hopelessly insane when they arrive.

59 Railroading: A set of twisted railroad tracks criss-crosses this area, sometimes splitting and sometimes converging, but always going from point A to B. PCs can travel anywhere along the tracks, but a magical force prevents them from leaving it. Monsters and other native creatures are not so constrained. The magical force can be broken with a difficult Strength check, but the moment the PCs leave the railroad, they are pummeled with magical rocks falling from out of nowhere, dealing 5d6 damage a round, with no save. The rocks stop when they return to the railroad. The ends of the railroad always lead to valid exits off the layer.

60 Overstep Yourself: Roll 1d3. On a 1, for each square of movement a creature makes, it instead moves two squares ahead, stopping only for a solid obstacle. You cannot willingly move less distance, and you always travel in the direction. In effect, your movement of, say, 6 squares is 6 squares of 10 foot intervals (making your move speed 60 feet instead of 30). On a roll of 2, you move three squares of movement, and on a roll of 3, you move four squares of movement. 5-foot steps are also altered by this effect, and it lasts until you leave the area.

61 Spiders: A large cloud of tiny black flecks (which on close inspection are spiders) blossoms from the ground. Those who breath it in must make a save or feel sickened for 1 round. The cloud disperses after 1 minute on its own and everything seems fine. However, if the characters break anything open on this layer after the event, they will discover that they are full of black spiders as well as what is what is normally inside. Open a coconut, spiders. Take off a helmet, spiders. Kill a monster. Blood, guts, and spiders.

One day afterward, those who failed the saving throw have their vitals, their blood, even their brains, replaced by millions of spiders. This has no detrimental effect, and they may not even notice until they are cut and spiders pour out. This change is permanent. It does have two beneficial effects and one side effect. It allows the affected creature to move on the Far Plane without needing to make the save against the ambient insanity, and the creature is not attacked by mindless spiders unless said spiders are directly ordered to attack. On the downside, the creature counts as vermin whenever not beneficial. Drow often see this as a blessing from their goddess.

62 Cocooned: The layer tries to cocoon all creatures in it in ethereal webs. A successful save ejects the character to the nearest layer, while a failed save ends the creature on the inside of a cocoon. A trapped creature can try to cut its way free with any light slashing or piercing weapon. The cocoon has an AC of 11 (if ascending AC), Hardness 5 and 50 HP. If the creature fails to escape within 5 rounds, they are immediately knocked unconscious and awaken 4d10 days later on another plane with a pair of insect wings. The wings are too weak to fly with, but reduce fall damage by half. Those affected must get their armor re-fit for abnormally shaped creatures. The change is permanent short of Limited Wish or better.

63 Small Kopi: All living creatures have their left hand fall off, dealing them 2d10 damage, and the creatures regenerate a new hand in 1d4 rounds (though the damage is not also healed). The hand that falls off springs to life the second it hits the ground and take form (plus stats and abilities) like a homunculus, which will try to kill its "creator".

64 Hunger Calls: A strange scent drifts through the layers, and every creature must make a saving throw or become a compulsive eater, needing to make a saving throw every time they see food or be forced to eat it. Every time they fail the save, they have to save when they see a non-food object. If they fail THAT save and eat the object, they do so harmlessly but from now on have to treat that object as 'food'. This can easily grow of control, as the subject never stops feeling hungry and never suffers from the effect, becoming an omnivorous black hole. Succeeding on 3 consecutive instances of compulsive eating removes the effect.

65 Bounty of the Land: Bushes begin to appear out of the ground, bearing great numbers of delicious-looking fruits and berries. If eaten, they bestow the same effect as a Heroes' Feast, but anyone who eats must also make a saving throw or receive one random mutation.

66 The Spawning: The earth spawns one or more creatures with pseudonatural, lovecraftian traits; roll 1d6 to find out which creature appears:

1) The earth spawns 1d4 pseudonatural small monstrous centipedes each round for the next 1d12 rounds. 2) The earth spawns 2d4 pseudonatural araneas. 3) The earth spawns 1d6 pseudonatural dire sharks each round for 1d4 minutes. If not helped into water, they will immediately begin suffocating. 4) The earth spawns a single pseudonatural elder black pudding every 1d12 rounds until it has spawned 5 puddings. 5) The earth spawns 1d3 completely identical pseudonatural planetars, which behave erratically. 6) The earth begins to shake and rumble over the next 3d10 rounds before finally spawning a single pseudonatural dream larva.

67 Surrogate: A cactus-like mobile plant violently bursts from the ground and fires needles at every creature in an 80 foot radius, with +13 to hit against AC. A hit deals 1d4+1 piercing damage, and if wounded, a creature must make a saving throw. On a failed save, an egg has been implanted. The creature will begin to have stomach pain. Each day, the victim must make another save, or become sickened for 24 hours. After 3d4 days, the egg hatches and a pseudonatural dire rat bursts from the victim's stomach, dealing 4d6 points of CON damage and scurrying away. A heal or remove disease destroys the egg before it hatches, ending the effect. Creatures which are immune to disease or lack a Constitution score cannot be affected by this occurrence.

68 Snowing Red Dust: Red dust begins to snow all over the layer and continues for 3d6 rounds. Every creature caught in the red snow must save each round or Red Dust disease, which deals -1 to CON, attack, damage, and checks every day you fail a save. When reduced to 8 CON, the disease accelerates and forces you to save every hour. At 0 CON, you die and leave a shriveled red corpse. If disturbed, the corpse explodes into a cloud of Red Dust. While infected, HP damage can only be healed by Limited Wish or greater. It takes 3 successful saves in a row to overcome the disease.

69 Gender Changer: All creatures change sex to the opposite one and must all immediately make a Charisma check. The creature who rolled the highest on the check receives the benefit of a Enlarge Person that can affect any creature regardless of type, while all others get the effect of a Reduce Person with no save that can affect any type and which does not affect their equipment. The effect lasts for 24 hours and may be removed by Remove Curse or stronger magic.

70 The Black Cat: Out of the corner of your eye, you begin to see a black cat, but when you look, there is nothing. The persistent image results in a −1 penalty to attack rolls and ability checks.

71 Dire Moose: A dire moose appears out of nothing, walks up to the largest gathering of intelligent creatures on the same layer, and tells them that the layer is about to collapse, whereafter the dire moose disappears. The layer does indeed collapse 1d100 rounds after the Dire Moose disappeared, dealing 10d6 damage to any creature still on the layer before ejecting it to the next layer.

72 Katamari: Any objects smaller than yourself which are touched immediately stick to your body and cannot be removed short of universal solvent. Likely, this fuses weapons into the hands of PCs, among other things. It is not limited to hands; anything smaller than you sticks, and when you have enough random mass to be counted as a creature of a larger size category, you are able to stick much, much more. Many a poor party end up stickied, and need a small party member with their hands coated in universal solvent to roll them out of the area of effect.

73 Stuck to Play: When you arrive on the layer, you become aware that the layer will close and prevent exit once only one creature remains on the layer. When only one creature is left, the layer seals off, preventing escape as if under Dimensional Lock, and any physical portals out of the layer are closed. The layer remains closed for 1d12 days, and every 1d6 hours, new random effects will occur. Roll on this table to determine which new effects occur.

74 Bunny Time: Every 1d4 round(s), a happy bunny appears and hops close to the creatures in this layer. Once 20 happy bunnies are present, they go berserk and attack all other creatures with the strength of something totally awful like a dragon or whatever until killed or they are alone on their layer again.

75 Ignition: The atmosphere is extremely flammable, but breathable, and seems no different from normal. If any fire occurs, the atmosphere on the layer immediately ignites, dealing 3d10 points of fire damage a round for 1d4+2 rounds. Once the fire ceases, the atmosphere is completely devoid of breathable gas, and creatures will likely suffocate.

76 Reverse Newtonian: The ground seems solid, but if you move more than 30 feet in a round, the ground will take on a liquid consistency, allowing you to fall through. You can attempt to swim through, but you will fall 300 feet down in the first round, and 500 feet in subsequent rounds. Swimming is slow and you move at half speed. If you managed to fall more than 1000 feet, you begin taking damage from superheated rock, plus an additional 1d6 fire damage for every 10 feet lower, up to 20d6 fire damage at 1200 feet where you are submerged in magma.

77 Magic Gone Wild: The layer is under a strong wild magic effect; any time a spell or a spell-like ability is used, the user must succeed a check equal to three times your level or a wild surge will occur. Anyone who has spells or spell-like abilities must succeed on a save for every 10 minutes spent on the layer, or become infected with Wild Plague.

78 Dark Price: A cosmic mind contacts the layer. Every intelligent creature on the layer may make an immediate charisma check, the one with the highest result gaining the use of a free wish spell from the entity. However, they also have the knowledge that if the wish is made, the creature will be fated to die in a horrible fashion. The nature of the death is up to the DM, but typically occurs anywhere from 1 week to 2d20 years after the wish is made.

79 Collapsing Star: The layer contains large but faraway fuzzy globes of vague energy, and the ground is black. Gravity is twice as heavy as normal here, and attempts to Plane Shift or Teleport must first succeed on a saving throw, but otherwise the layer is fairly normal. The heavy gravity causes balance, climb, jump, ride, swim, and tumble checks to be at a −2 circumstance penalty, as do all attack rolls. All item weights are effectively doubled, which might affect a character’s speed. Weapon ranges are halved. A character’s Strength and Dexterity scores are not affected. Characters who fall on a heavy gravity plane take 1d10 points of damage for each 10 feet fallen, to a maximum of 20d10 points of damage.

5 rounds after the party gets there, the gravity triples, resulting in a −4 penalty to the aforementioned skills and attack rolls, weights are tripled, weapon ranges cut to a third, and characters take 3d8 fall damage per 10 feet. The save to Plane Shift and Teleport rises by +5. The energy spheres also move noticeably closer. Every 5 rounds, the gravity increases to four, five, and six times normal gravity, increasing the penalties as appropriate and fall damage following the progression of 6d8, 8d8, and 12d8 per 10 feet. On the seventh instance, the energy spheres touch and the layer collapses into a ball of nuclear fusion, obliterating everything on the layer.

80 Paranoia: The DM may consult this result and look shocked at how bad it is. Suggest that "the PCs see or hear nothing unusual", but look grim (or sadistic if that's your choice), second guessing all their actions and asking "are you sure?" to even seemingly innocent things. Nothing is wrong, their players are just paranoid.

81 RPG: The party is subject to a sudden blur of colors, resulting a save or becoming dazed for 1 round. Regardless of their save, they are blinded by the colors for 1 round. When their vision clears, they will be in an enemy encounter. Upon defeating the enemies, the bodies vanish in a red outline, and they leave bags of gold, potions, and other things monsters of their sort should not reasonably be carrying, as well as some ghostly fanfare which comes out of nowhere.

82 Objectified: Creatures on this layer lose their constitution scores, gaining CON — for the duration of their visit and gaining construct traits (except immunity to mind-affecting effects, unless they are already mindless). Creatures without CON scores, meanwhile, gain CON 10, and become vulnerable to construct immunities (unless they are immune through another way, such as poison immunity from an amulet). Formerly living creatures do not bleed, and formerly non-living or undead creatures bleed. This includes inanimate objects and even the ground, which screams when cut.

83 Turning Japanese: When any creature takes a slashing or piercing wound in this area, they take an additional 1d6 points of damage as fantastic amounts of blood spray from the wound. This blood loss never results in the creature passing out, and indeed the blood will continue to spray forth in an absurd amount far beyond what the creature actually contains. When a creature dies, they explode into a tidal wave of blood, destroying their body and flooding the surrounding 20 foot radius burst with blood, dealing 5d4 nonlethal damage and forcing a save vs being knocked prone (a successful save negates the prone effect).

84 An Odd Layer: You can only ever get odd results, rounding down to the nearest odd number. For example, you can move 5 feet, or 15 feet, but find you cannot move 10 feet. Likewise, your attack roll of 16 to hit becomes 15, and your damage roll deals 21 damage instead of 22. On a natural 20, the result becomes 21 instead of 19.

85 Adrian Brody: You encounter an appropriate level encounter monster who has a curious human face and the gaze attack of a Medusa. If you fail the save against its gaze attack, instead of turning to stone, you gain the creature's face, the creature's gaze attack, and are treated as if charmed even if you would otherwise be immune. The creature makes no effort to attack other creatures with its face, and creatures affected are more than happy to spread the face to others.

86 Funny Hat Club: A group of of 2-6 pseudonatural trolls are in the area, sitting on comfy chairs, wearing monocles, sipping tea, and wearing bizarre hats (including things that shouldn't BE hats, such as a duck on one's head). They are busy discussing politics in a very elite fashion. All of them are under a Sanctuary effect, as if cast by a level 100 caster. A sign just outside of their area displays "Silly Hats Only". If approached within 60 feet, the conversation will stop and the trolls will stop and look at the intruders, glaring if they are not wearing a silly piece of headgear. If a silly hat is not worn within 2 rounds, on the third round they go berserk and attack. If the attack is prevented via silly hats, the PCs may converse with them, though they mostly seem focused on game hunting and various real and unreal political events. They have a +20 bonus on any checks about these subjects.

87 Prismatic Dye: A rolling 40-foot-high multicolored cloud with a 40-foot radius diameter appears. The cloud moves at 20 feet a round. Those caught in the cloud have their skin turned to wild prismatic flashing colors, with no other effect but looking strange and bare skin shedding light out to 5 feet, and shadowy illumination 5 feet beyond. However, they soon find they have an uncontrollable gaze attack out to 30 feet; any creature under 8 HD subjected to the gaze immediately dies and is animated as a shadow with an urge to murder their prismatic killer and drain him of both life and color. The shadows cannot be turned or rebuked, but they can be destroyed through normal traditional means. The effect is permanent, but a Limited Wish or better removes it.

88 Gotta Go To Space: This layer appears to be a normal material plane world, but gravity is in reverse. A save on arrival allows creatures to grab onto something; otherwise, they fly off 300 feet in the air the first round and 500 feet every round after. The atmosphere is much more compressed than normal; after 500 feet, the temperature drops 20 degrees and the air becomes thin, forcing a save vs becoming fatigued. Between 1500 feet and 3000 feet, the temperature drops 20 degrees again and creatures must make a save vs exhaustion. Between 3000 feet and 15,000 feet, the temperature drops another 20 degrees, and the creature takes 1d6 points of damage from low pressure and can no longer breathe. Between 15,000 feet and 25,000 feet, the temperature drops another 20 degrees and the pressure damage increases to 2d6. Beyond 25,000 feet, they are officially in space and take 3d6 damage a round from pressure, plus 1 point of ability damage to all ability scores from radiation damage. They may drift in the infinite depths of this layer forever.

Any spells which grant a fly speed or any teleportation spells (including Plane Shift) fail unless the caster succeeds on a difficult meaning creatures may fly higher and higher before they can manage to escape.

89 Spamming Hell: Every round, characters must succeed on a save while in the area. Failure means they repeat the same action as last time (attacking, moving, repeating the same message, etc.), regardless of how the surroundings have changed. Success means they can act normally.

90 The Rave: Every object, creature, and even the atmosphere itself flashes with prismatic colors and loud blaring music. All listen checks are made at a −4 penalty and even normal conversation within earshot must succeed on a listen check. All creatures are dazzled, and when first exposed to the area, must make a save or be blinded for 2d4 rounds. Anyone who remains in the area for more than 10 minutes who is not immune to mind-affecting effects becomes sickened, no save.

91 The Gazebo: The layer is disturbing and freaky as the far realm often is, and in the middle of the madness is a small grassy meadow with a little grassy hill. On that hill stands a shiny white gazebo. The PCs will feel safe from the horrors of the Far Realm here, but the gazebo is actually an advanced mimic with 21 HD and pseudonatural traits which is more than happy to wait for the PCs to take a nap inside of it.

92 Silence: The plane is completely silent, as if affected by the Silence spell. Nothing else occurs.

93 Pulse of Creation: A 1-foot white sphere of light appears floating there. It is incorporeal and cannot be touched, but any creature moving within a 10 foot radius of it must succeed on a save or lose a memory. The memory is converted into a new layer somewhere on the Far Realm, which duplicates the memory and its inhabitants with pseudonatural clones. Lost memories incur a negative level with a save to remove 24 hours later. However, the memory remains missing with a vague sense that something is wrong. Modify Memory is capable of restoring the memory.

94 He Who Waits Beyond The Wall: Whenever someone speaks or attempts vocal spellcasting, they must make a save or instead begin mumbling strange things about "the Nezperdian Hivemind of Chaos" and "Zalgo", before snapping out of it with no memory of what just happened. After the 3rd failed save, which need not be consecutive, the creature who failed that save must make another save or be consumed by a web of growing black tendrils which spill from their mouth and eyes, mouths appearing on their skin and devouring them alive horribly. The web will start in their square and grow in a 5 foot radius every round until it has consumed the layer in corruption. Those touched by the webbing treat it as a Web spell which deals 2d6 damage a round on contact.

Although the process appears fatal, the originator of the web is actually still alive, but unconscious and taking vile damage each round. They are contained in a cocoon of webbing, with Hardness 5 and 50 HP. Allies can attempt to free them, and doing so halts the growth of the webbing. If anyone dies from the vile damage, they respawn 1d10 minutes later on the material plane as a pseudonatural version of themselves with chaotic evil alignment and a compulsion to summon the titular elder evil to the material plane.

95 Ocean of Insects: The area is flooded with a sea of small insects up to 20 feet high, so thick you can swim through it at half speed. You must hold your breath and close your eyes, or insects will crawl in your eyes and mouth and deal 5d6 damage and force a save vs nausea each round. If you are damaged and close your mouth and eyes again, the damage decreases by 1d6 and −2 save penalty each round, until the damage is 0. When the damage becomes 0, there is no longer a save. They will not damage you if your mouth and eyes are closed.

96 Enlightenment: A bright flash of light occurs, and characters must make a save or be permanently blinded, their eyes burned right out of their head, save negates. However, if a character is blinded, they gain +4 on initiative checks, +4 on saves against traps, is treated as having 360' vision for purposes of flanking and back-attacking, and may use the following spells 1/day as spell-like abilities: Detect Secret Doors, Detect Thoughts, Clairaudience/Clairvoyance, Divination, True Seeing, Find the Path, Legend Lore, Discern Location, Foresight. If their blindness is ever cured (which requires regrowing the eyes), they lose these benefits.

97 Even Death May Die: Characters must make a special level check of their character level + 1d20 against Difficulty 30 or equivalent (Courtney's Rosetta Stone is useful, here). If they succeed, they are rendered biologically immortal but hopelessly insane, ignoring even mind-affecting immunity. If they fail, they are not driven insane but their lifespan is cut in half, which may push them into a new age category. If they have been pushed beyond their maximum lifespan, they must make a save or die; success means they have 1d6 years left to live. The insanity and the aging effect can only be cured by a Wish. Reverting the aging effect restores their natural age and reverts any penalties or bonuses gained from it.

98 The Offer: A bizarre and otherworldly entity appears, stopping the flow of time if needed to speak with the PCs, and offers the PCs the ability to become as gods; however, they will have to leave everything behind. If refused, it has no issue and departs. However, if the offer is agreed to, the character is swept away into the gibbering madness, never to be seen again. Evidence that the character has ascended into the state of an elder evil is apparent. They are now an NPC, but will subtly impact the game with their motives and beliefs, leaving their mark on the world.

99 Double Weirdness Roll twice on this Table, re-rolling any further roll of 99 or 100. (Or roll with it, lol.)

100 Strange Eons Roll 1d4+2 times on this Table, re-rolling any further roll of 99 or 100. (Same)

Aura's Wild Magic table.

Yo so here's my weird schizophrenic Wild Magic table. Roll on Table 1 and then follow the instructions. Effects supplant whatever spell or whatever you meant to cast (or accompany it, if you think that'd be more awesome). If the effect doesn't make sense, the spell works as normal. Or maybe reroll. I prefer rerolling, but hey it's up to you. I guess Wild Magic has to fail to fuck things up sometimes to be truly random, but eh.

In my games, this table is rolled on if a spell is miscast or interrupted, if someone reads a scroll or spellbook improperly, or is playing a Wild Mage, which works exactly like a wizard except they have a 10% chance of rolling a Wild Surge, though they can negate this than using a higher level spell slot. A Wild Mage can also choose to surge on purpose whenever they want. They can also roll twice on any random magic effects like a Rod of Wonder and take the preferred result, but never this table.

There's additionally a disease called a Wild Plague that makes you always Wild Surge. Casting a spell on someone with Wild Plague is a possible vector of infection, lol. And if you're in a Wild Magic zone, you're always treated as a Wild Mage. These are the only locations where a Wild Mage can roll twice on a Surge and take their preferred result.

TABLE 1 (Determine nature of Surge)

01-40 Spell : See Table A1

41-55 Caster: See Table B1

56-70 Target: See Table C1

71-80 Caster & Target: See Table D1

81-89 Environment: See Table E1

90-95 Special: See Table F1

96-98 Roll twice on this Table, re-rolling results over 96 (or don't, lolololol)

99 Roll 2d4 times on this Table re-rolling results over 96 (Same as above, just assume.)

100 DM Decides, or makes up something not covered here. Or roll 1d20 times on the table. Bwahaha, eat shit.

TABLE A1 (Spell is target of Surge)

01-12 Spell works as normal plus Thematic Effect; Roll on Table A2.

13 Spell does opposite of purpose; a damaging spell heals the target, a boost-providing spell confers a penalty, etc.

14-25 Thematic Effect: Roll on Table A2 and again on Basic Table.

26 Spell is Empowered: Any numeric or variable aspects of the spell are increased by one half.

27 Spell is Maximized: Any variable aspects of the spell are treated as the maximized result.

28 Spell is Twinned: Cast the spell twice.

29 Spell is Delayed: Roll 1D4+1 for rounds it's delayed by.

30 Spell affects Target as normal, then an exact copy of the spell originates from the target and affects the caster.

31 Spell doesn’t take effect now, but next time the caster casts a spell, the target of the second spell is also the target of the first.

32 As 31, but it affects the next 1d20 spells the caster casts (first spell has no effect at casting but affects target of second spell, second spell affects target of third spell, and so on).

33 Spell becomes a maximized Fireball with Caster Level of 10.

34 Spell takes effect, but Caster Level is double normal.

35 Spell takes effect, but Caster Level is half normal.

36 Spell is changed to the spell appearing above it in the source material. The target doesn’t change. If this would result in a spell with no effect (for example, charm person in an open space), then there is no effect; roll on Table E1 to determine what happens next.

37 Spell affects the nearest creature to the target instead.

38 Spell affects the nearest creature to the caster instead.

39 Spell becomes the spell Time Stop, but the target counts as the caster, and knows this.

40-49 Nothing happens; the spell slot is still used and components are still consumed.

50-55 Nothing happens, really! The spell slot is not used and components are not consumed.

56-60 Everyone within 5ft of a line between the caster and the target will be hit by a copy of the spell, including the caster.

61-62 Spell's duration is 1d6 times normal; spells with a duration of instantaneous instead take effect 1d6 times, once every round until all have taken effect.

63-66 Besides the normal spell, another spell accompanies it. Roll on Table A3. The target doesn't change. If this would result in a spell with no effect (for example, Scare in an open space), then re-roll on Table A3.

67-82 Spell takes effect, but the caster retains the spell or spell slot and components aren't consumed.

83-85 Spell is changed to another spell: roll on Table A3. The target doesn’t change. If this would result in a spell with no effect (for example, Scare in an open space), then there is no effect; roll on Table E1 to determine what happens next.

86-87 Spell has no save and penetrates Spell Resistance automatically.

88-89 Saves vs this spell are automatically a success, and it can't penetrate a creature's Spell Resistance.

90 Spell becomes a "Living Spell". It becomes sentient, gains a humanoid form, and is capable of 'casting itself at will. Treat as an NPC and go nuts with this. Alternatively stat them up as Arnold K's Spellborn Homunculus.

91-95 Spell takes effect normally.

96-98 Roll twice on this Table, rerolling results over 96

99 Roll 2d4 times on this Table, rerolling results over 96.

100 DM chooses an effect from this table under the result of 96. (I guess it's a dick move if the DM chooses above 96, but don't let me stop you; if you can make up a new effect do it)

 

TABLE A2 (Thematic Effect of Surge)

01-05 Theme Electricity, the spell will look electrical in nature, there will be heard thunder and smell like in a thunder storm.

06-10 Theme Fire, the spell will look like fire with flames, smoke, and heat waves, it smells of burnt [insert target of spell].

11-15 Theme Sonic, like 1-10 on this table just with the theme of Sonic.

16-20 Theme Cold, like 1-10 on this table just with the theme of Cold.

21-25 Theme Acid, like 1-10 on this table just with the theme of Acid.

26-30 Theme Death, like 1-10 on this table just with the theme of Death.

31-35 Theme Heaven, like 1-10 on this table just with the theme of Heaven.

36-40 Theme Hell, like 1-10 on this table just with the theme of Hell.

41-60 Appropriate Theme music will play for the duration of the spell; spells with a duration of instantaneous instead have the Appropriate Theme music play for CL rounds.

61 as 05+41 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

62 as 10+42 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

63 as 15+43 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

64 as 20+44 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

65 as 25+45 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

66 as 30+46 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

67 as 35+47 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

68 as 40+48 on this table, but the music will match the theme instead of the spell.

69-74 Spell is accompanied with the sound of 100 soft bells ringing and leaves a trail of flower petals in its wake.

75-84 Spell effect is invisible and produces no sound, but is otherwise normal.

85-90 Theme Slime, 1-10 on this table just with the theme of Slime.

91-95 Spell displays the effect of making it look like it's the work of thousands of small and fluffy animals; a Levitation spell makes it look like lots of little songbirds come and lift the target, a damaging spell looks like a swarm of mice running by nibbling all in the area of effect, etc.

96-98 Roll twice on this Table, rerolling results over 96. (Or don't, if you can think of how to combine themes)

99 Roll 2d4 times on this Table, rerolling results over 96.

100 DM chooses an effect from this table under the result of 96. (Or make up a new theme, like Cheese or something, idgaf.)

 

TABLE A3 (Other Spell on Surge)

I'm not going to print a goddamn table of every possible spell in my game, especially since I'm not sure how much that'll translate into your game. Basically just roll randomly for spell list, then roll 1d10 for spell level (treat 10 as cantrips if they exist, otherwise GM picks). When you have a spell level, roll randomly on spells. For instance, if you're using the Castles & Crusades PHB with no homebrew, you'd have 1d4 for Cleric, Druid, Wizard, Illusionist spell lists. It has 0-level spells, and each spell level tends to have a nice diceable number of spells like 12 or 20, numbered for you an everything. It's awesome.

 

TABLE B1 (Caster is target of Surge)

01-05 All hair falls off of caster.

06-09 Caster grows 1d10 inches permanently.

10-12 Caster shrinks 1d10 inches permanently.

13 Caster is affected by Feeblemind, no save.

14-20 Caster develops a phobia related to the spell or target of the spell.

21-22 Caster is infected with a disease of the DM`s choice, including supernatural ones like vampirism if you want. I sure as hell do. A Wild Magic plague exists in my games, as mentioned before.

23-24 Caster is the target of a random spell; Roll on Table A3.

25 Caster Mutates; roll on Random Mutations Table of your choice to see what mutation caster gets. What, you don't have one? What the fuck kind of OSR gamer are you? Get out of here.

26 Caster believes he/she is a animal for 3D6 Rounds and acts accordingly, roll 1D10 to see which animal the caster believes he/she is:

1-2 Gorilla, 3-4 Deer, 5-6 Bear, 7 Mouse, 8 Eagle, 9 Fish, 10 Chicken.

27-28 Caster loses all remaining spells and/or spell slots for the day.

29-30 Caster regains all used spells and/or spell slots.

31-35 Caster ages spell's level in years.

36-40 Caster levitates full speed up for the next 1D10 Rounds and then falls, taking falling damage. The caster can take actions during these rounds, but will continue to levitate up unless dispelled.

41 Caster can't lie for the first 10 minutes after having cast a spell, this effect remains for 1 year.

42 Caster can't speak the truth for the first 10 minutes after having cast a spell, this effect remains for 1 year.

43-46 Caster is permanently invisible to target until a break enchantment is cast on him/her (If caster is also target, this is extra funny)

47-49 Caster has contracted Wild plague. Lololol I told you dawg. Everything you cast Wild Surges until it's cured.

50-55 Caster gains a bonus of +4 to all stats until he/she walks on holy or unholy ground.

56-65 Caster's diet changes to minerals where the expensive crystals taste the best, lasts until the next full moon.

66-68 Caster is instantly transported to other plane or prime, roll for destination on table B2.

69 Caster changes sex; every day, the caster can make a saving throw versus the original spell to change back.

70-75 Caster believes target to be a long lost sibling.

76-80 Caster believes target to be a demon in disguise, out to kill him/her.

81-84 Caster's languages all change to other languages, but the caster doesn't notice it him/herself, this effect lasts until the caster washes his/her hair.

85-89 Next non-living item the caster touches will turn into gold.

90-95 Caster's skin takes on another color, roll 1D10 to see which, this effect last until the caster bathes under a waterfall:

1-2 Brown, 3-4 Pale, 5 Blue, 6 Yellow, 7 Albino, 8 Gold, 9 Silver, 10 Red

96-98 Roll twice on this Table, rerolling results over 96

99 Roll 2d4 times on this Table, rerolling results over 96

100 DM chooses an effect from this table under the result of 96, or makes up a new one. You get the drill.

 

TABLE B2 (Random Plane of Destination)

Here, just roll randomly for Planes of Existence, whatever the cosmology is in your setting. If your game doesn't have alternate planes of existence, uh...use planets? Come on work with me here. I might post my cosmology sometime and link to it here later, though. Cosmologies are cool.

TABLE C1 (Target is target of Surge)

01-05 All of the target's hair grows 1D20 inches instantaneously.

06-10 Target polymorphs into an animal for 3D6 Rounds, roll 1D10 to see which animal the target becomes:

1-2 Gorilla, 3-4 Deer, 5-6 Bear, 7 Mouse, 8 Eagle, 9 Fish, 10 Chicken. Saving throw to resist being polymorphed is equal to the original spell's.

11-12 Target's languages all change to other languages, but the target doesn't notice it him/herself; this effect lasts until the target washes his/her hands.

13 Target gains the attention of a greater creature (Creature's HD is equal to Target's Level/HD+1D20) from another plane; the creature is annoyed and angry at the target. To see which plane the creature is from, roll on Table B2.

14-17 Target gains the attention of a lesser creature (Creature's HD is equal to Target's Level/HD-1D6) from another plane; the creature is interested in testing the target before recruiting him/her. To see which plane the creature is from, roll on Table B2.

18-19 Target gains a spell that can be used as a spell-like ability 1D4/times; to see which spell, roll on Table A3.

20 Target is totally immune to all spells for the next 24 hours, both harmful and beneficial. All spell effects already affecting the target are suppressed for the duration, and the target can't use spell-like or supernatural abilities during those 24 hours.

21-23 Target is hit by a Flesh to Stone spell with no save, and a duration of the target's Constitution in days.

24-26 A statue looking exactly like the target in the moment of the spell being cast appears where the target stood; the target is moved 5ft north and affected by a Improved invisibility spell with a duration of 3D10 rounds. (The statue is permanent)

27 All of the target's clothes and worn equipment burst into flames and are incinerated, leaving the target unharmed but naked. Magic items get a Saving throw with the difficulty of the spell originally intended to be cast.

28-29 Target is permanently invisible to caster until a Remove Curse spell is cast on them (If target is also caster, this is extra funny)

30-34 Target polymorphs into its cute baby self for 1D12 Hours (Size: Tiny, STR: 01 CON: 01 DEX: 01, no change in target's mental abilities). Saving Throw to resist being polymorphed is as the spell originally intended to be cast.

35 Target polymorphs into its cute baby self for 1D12 Hours (Size: Tiny, STR: 01 CON: 01 DEX: 01 INT: 02 WIS: 02 CHA: 15). Mental abilities, knowledge, and languages changes to that of a helpless baby. Saving Throw to resist being polymorphed is as the spell originally intended to be cast.

36-39 Target changes size for the next 1D20 Hours, roll 1D10 to find the target's new size:

1 two sizes smaller, 2-5 one size smaller, 6-8 one size larger, 9 two sizes larger, 10 tree sizes larger

Adjust AC and stats as however that would work in your game. Saving throw to resist size change against the original spell +5.

40-44 Every time Target wants to speak, it comes out as song, permanent until Remove Curse is cast.

45-49 Nearest creature to the target with 2 or less in INT (or of animal intelligence if you don't track that shit) becomes enraged and will attack the target to the death.

50-54 Nearest creature to the target with 2 or less in INT (or of animal intelligence if you don't track that shit) becomes completely loyal to target. Until the target does something to hurt the creature, the bond of loyalty is permanent.

55-65 Target gains the spell-like ability to use the spell just cast to affect him/her 1 time.

66-68 Target is instantly transported to other plane or prime, roll on Table B2. Saving Throw against the original spell to resist.

69 Target falls deeply in love with caster and will forsake all other loyalties, Saving throw against the original spell, but if the caster's alignment is radically different there is a +10 to the save, duration ((Caster’s Charisma times original spell level)/weeks).

70-74 Target gets hit by a Mage's Disjunction as if cast by a 20^th level caster.

75-79 Target will forget all names, including their own name. Saving throw as original spell to resist, lasting until a person calls targets name or a Remove curse is cast.

80-83 Next time target tries to talk, they will spit out 1D100 gold pieces instead.

84 Target gains a +6 bonus to AC until the next full moon.

85-95 Target gains a compulsive need to possess one item that means a lot to caster. Remove Curse will end this compulsion.

96-98 Roll twice on this Table, rerolling results over 96

99 Roll 2d4 times on this Table, rerolling results over 96.

100 DM chooses an effect from this table under the result of 96

 

TABLE D1 (Target and Caster are both target of Surge)

01-05 Target and caster swap locations.

06-10 Target and caster swap bodies, this works as a True Mind Switch but with no save, the effect will be reversed immediately if any of the two eats raw meat.

11-15 Caster is hit by an effect from Table C1 and Target is hit by an effect from Table B1.

16-20 Both target and caster are hit by the same effect from Table B1.

21-25 Both target and caster are hit by the same effect from Table C1.

26-30 Target and caster are instantly transported to other plane or prime, roll on Table B2.

31 Target and caster are instantly transported to a Demiplane that gives them whatever he wanted, as a perfect dream world. It will give them everything they want, consciously or unconsciously, except a way to leave, until one of them dies.

32-36 Both target and caster are hit by the same spell from Table A3.

37-41 Target and caster are hit by different spells from Table A3.

42 Both target and caster are hit by a Heal spell, Caster Level 25.

43-48 Both target and caster disappear and will reappear 1D10 rounds into the future with no knowledge of anything strange having happened.

49-53 Target and caster swap all worn clothing and equipment, things that are impossible to be worn appear in front of the not-owner on the ground.

54-57 Target and caster both make a Charisma check. The one rolling highest is hit by an Enlarge Person spell at Caster Level 20, and the other is hit by a Reduce Person spell at Caster Level 20.

58 Caster and target both gain identical mutation, roll on Random Mutations Table of your choice to see which.

59-63 Target and caster are drawn towards each other; each round a magic force will move each 20 ft. closer to one another until they collide (this does not grant them any kind of movement they do not have, like flight, but the spell will still move them out over a chasm if that is the straight line).

64-68 Both target and caster are hit by a Reduce Person, Caster Level 20, with a permanent duration.

69 Caster and target fall deeply in love with each other and will forsake all other loyalties. Saving Throw to resist equal to original spell x2, but only if caster's alignment and target's are radically different (no shared components).

70-75 Caster and target are permanently invisible to each other until Remove curse is cast on either of them.

76-80 Caster and target suddenly know each other personally (Alignment, Class with most levels in, HD, Stats and Patron God)

81-87 Both target and caster are hit by an Enlarge Person spell, Caster Level 20, with a permanent duration.

88 Both target and caster are turned into Rats as by a failed save vs. Baleful Polymorph, except the save automatically succeeds after 24 hours.

89-95 Both target and caster disgorge 1D100 creatures and are stunned for 1D6 rounds while doing this, roll 1D10 to see which creatures:

1 Maggots, 2 Rats, 3 Bats, 4 Fire ants, 5 Frogs, 6 Tiny illusionary fairy’s, 7 Spiders, 8 Locusts, 9 Canaries, 10 Tiny non-poisonous snakes

96-98 Roll twice on this Table, rerolling results over 96.

99 Roll 2d4 times on this Table, rerolling results over 96.

100 DM chooses an effect from this table under the result of 96.

TABLE E1 (Environment is Effect of Surge)

01-07 A permanent wild magic zone is created with center where the intended spell should have taken effect. The radius of the zone is caster's level X100 ft.

08-09 A permanent dead magic zone is created with center where the intended spell should have taken effect. The radius of the zone is caster's level X10 ft.

10 A permanent dead magic zone is created with center where the intended spell should have taken effect. The radius of the zone is caster's level X100 ft.

11-15 Centered on the caster, a sphere with a radius of Caster Level X10 ft. permanently shifts places with an equally sized area from a random plane, roll on Table B2 to see which plane. Only the environment is affected; no sentient creatures are shifted.

16-20 Centered on the caster, a sphere with a radius of Caster Level X10 ft. and all creatures in this area shifts places with a equally sized area from a random plane, roll on Table B2 to see which plane. The areas will remain there for the duration of the intended spell before returning home. If the creatures leave the area under the duration and don't make it back before the original spell ends, they must find another way home.

21-25 A Permanent Wall of Force springs into existence right between the caster and target; the wall is as large as environment allows, up to a maximum of caster's level. If Caster is also the target, the wall starts in front of the caster and goes in a straight line the way the caster is looking.

26-29 Surge kills all non-sentient plant life in a radius of caster's level X10 ft.

30 Surge kills all non-sentient plant life in a radius of caster's level X100 ft.

31-35 In a circle with a radius of caster's level X1D10 ft, flowers will suddenly and magically begin to grow. These will open up 24 hours after the surge and reveal a gem inside of each flower; the amount of gem flowers that appear is equal to the radius of the flower zone X10. Each gem, if plucked, is worth 1D100 Gold, but turns to dust one week after being plucked.

36-40 Weather changes drastically (hail, sleet, thunderstorm, heatwave, etc.)

41-45 Weather changes drastically to magical nature (raining frogs, lightning elementals playing a game in the skies, a fog that counts a stinking cloud falls, etc.)

46-50 Nearest dead sentient being returns as a ghost to haunt the location of its death.

51-55 The nearest 2D6 Animals and 2D6 Trees are Awakened as the spell of same name, except they doesn’t change attitude towards caster and will begin an internal battle between the plant kingdom VS. the animal kingdom to the death.

56-60 A pit 10 ft. X 10 ft. X 10 ft. appears right between caster and target; if caster is also target, it appears right under caster.

61-65 Plant growth speeds up in a area of caster's level X 30 ft. around caster, and until the next full moon, each hour plants will grow as much as they would have done in a normal year.

66-70 In a sphere with a radius of 1D100 ft. from the target of the intended spell, time stops for 1D100 years; everyone within or who enter under the area of effect is caught by the time stop and frozen in time until time starts again. This effect counts as being cast by a level 30 caster for purpose of trying to dispel. No save and no Spell Resistance.

71-75 The surge rips a hole in the fabric of reality and a layer of the far plane/outer chaos/whatever seeps in; the layer remains until all creatures have left its boundary. The layer is level x5 ft radius centered on the caster when the surge happens. Roll on Table E2 to see what effect the layer brings with it.

76-78 Earthquakes hit the region (nearest 100 miles) for the next 1D6 hours.

79-82 A permanent magical effect occurs. At a range of 250 ft. around the caster, a barrier springs into existence; everyone who looks through this barrier from the outside can only see the natural environment of the other side (buildings, creatures, fields, or the like it have all become invisible), while there is no effect for the ones looking out.

83-86 Rips a hole in reality and opens a one-way portal to a random plane, roll on Table B2 to see where the portal leads to.

87-90 Rips a hole in reality and opens a one-way portal from a random plane, roll on Table B2 to see where the portal comes from. (DM discretion, as permanent portals can't exist at some planes.)

91-95 Rips a hole in reality and opens a two-way portal to a random plane, roll on Table B2 to see where the portal leads to. (DM discretion, as permanent portals can't exist at some planes.)

96-98 Roll twice on this Table, rerolling results over 96.

99 Roll 2d4 times on this Table, rerolling results over 96.

100 DM chooses an effect from this table under the result of 96.

 

Table E2 (Far Realms Fuckery)

This is gonna have to be its own post or else this'll be too long. Here.

 

TABLE F1 (Special Surges)

01-03 Surge results in surge with multiple effects, roll once on each of these tables: Table A1, Table B1, Table C1, Table D1, and Table E1

04-06 The caster gains a random effect from Table A2 that will always be added to all spells the caster casts.

07-09 One random stat of the target's gains a permanent inherent bonus, roll a D10 to determine the size of the bonus:

1-4 +1. 5-6 +2. 7-8 +3. 9 +4. 10 +5.

10-12 Randomly roll another wild surge; this surge and the next 1D20 wild surges will have that effect.

13 Caster gains a wild die (D20). When casting spells or using spell-like abilities, roll wild die, and if the wild die rolls 13, the result is a wild surge instead of the spell. If caster already has a wild die, roll a D20 instead, and the result is now added to the wild die and will result in a wild surge when casting spells.

14-15 A random effect from Table B1 is made permanent without save or Spell Resistance; even if it could be removed before, it can't now.

16-18 A random effect from Table C1 is made permanent without save or Spell Resistance; even if it could be removed before, it can't now.

19-21 Curse of the Phoenix. The caster bursts into flames and is consumed along with all of his/her equipment, magic items get a saving throw equal to the difficulty of the original spell being cast. Next dawn, the caster will reincarnate in the nearest flame that is as large or larger than the caster (note that the curse doesn’t give any resistance or immunity to fire). If ever killed by fire damage, this will happen again. Precisely one year after the caster's last burst and consummation by flames, it repeats. Can only ever be removed by eating the heart of a Phoenix, while Remove Curse is being cast on the subject.

22-24 A random monster appears from with HD equal to the level as the spell originally intended to be cast, and it is free willed and permanent (of course, it is confused as to what just happened, and yes, it does come from somewhere.)

25-27 A 1 inch/spell level portal appears right behind the caster, which is connected to the Far realms. Right behind it, a creature lives that wants to enter our existence. Every time the caster casts a spell, it opens 1 inch/spell level, and every day at sunset, it closes 1 inch. If the portal ever reaches 100 inches, the creature will enter and try to eat the caster. If successful, it will take his/her body and have free access to our world (if creatures pass through the portal from our side, the creatures are gone forever ,and the portal will grow by 1 inch/HD if dead and 2 inches/HD if alive).

28-32 A Random minor magic item appears where the spell should have taken effect. Roll on whatever tables you prefer.

33-35 A Random medium magic item appears where the spell should have taken effect. Roll on whatever tables you prefer.

36 A Random greater magic item appears where the spell should have taken effect. Roll on whatever tables you prefer.

37-38 A artifact appears where spell should have taken effect, but it is only a shadow image of the item, and every time it is used, roll a D20. If you roll 13, a wild surge will occur and the item will disappear; if it is not 13 the item works as expected.

39-42 Spellstorm: all of the caster's remaining spells are instantly cast on the target. If the caster is a spontaneous caster, a random spell is generated on each spell level and all spell slots are used for that spell. Even spells that normally would be personal or touch are cast on the target, and all attack rolls required for the spells are successful. Any spell for which the caster doesn't have the component, focus, or it just doesn't make any sense (such as Summon on an elf) simply fizzles.

43-45 One random stat of the caster's gains a permanent inherent bonus. Roll a D10 to se the size of the bonus

1-4 +1. 5-6 +2. 7-8 +3. 9 +4. 10 +5.

46-48 Caster ages up until first year in next age category.

49-51 Caster becomes 1D20 years younger (if this will result in a age of 0 or less, the caster disappears and everybody will forget all about him/her; even in written materials, the caster and his/her deeds will disappear).

52-54 Target are transported to random plane, roll on table B2 and a Doppleganger looking precisely like the target is transported to where the target stood.

55-57 The creature standing closest to caster gains Detect Thoughts as a spell-like ability 3/day, Caster Level 13.

58-60 Reroll wild surge; the creature standing closest to the caster is counted as both target and caster of spell.

61-63 Reroll wild surge; the creature standing closest to the caster is counted as the caster of spell, and the creature standing closest to the target is counted as the target of spell. (If a touch spell, the caster becomes the target and the target becomes the caster.)

64-65 A noble Djinn appears and offers for all to participate in a tournament where the winner is granted a wish, like the spell, roll 1D6 to see which kind of tournament it is:

1 Chess (Djinn supplies the boards and pieces). 2 Gladiator tournament to surrender or death. 3 Jousting (Djinn supplies horses and lances). 4 wrestling. 5 Spell duel to surrender or death. 6 swimming competition (in nearest large body of liquid)

66 A wish (or 3) is granted to the caster, roll 1D10 to see the source:

1-5 Noble Djinn, Wish is granted as the spell. 6 Evil God, grants 3 Wishes but it is in return for the caster's soul; until the second wish is granted, the soul can be saved by a Atonement spell cast by a cleric of a good or neutral deity, but after the second wish, the soul is tainted beyond mortal intervention. 7-10 Noble Efreet, Wish is granted as the spell, but the Efreet tries to corrupt it; if the wording can be understood in some other way, it will.

67-68 Curse of Bureaucracy: Each time the caster tries to cast a spell, a large form will appear along with a quill. This form is about whether the spell is for pleasure or business, who the intended target is, why the caster is using this exact spell ,and a lot other questions in that style. It takes 1 round per spell level to fill out the form, and if correctly filled (INT check), the spell will be cast, but if the INT check fails a new form will appear, and until a form is correctly filled, the caster can't cast other spells. When Remove Curse is cast on the unlucky individual, a new and extremely large form will appear along with a quill. This form takes the Caster's level in hours to fill out, and if correctly filled, the curse is lifted. If failed, there is a waiting period of one week per check failed until the curse is lifted, and if failed by 10 or more, the Remove Curse just doesn’t work. Special: Lawful characters get +2 to these INT checks and Chaotic characters get -2 to these INT checks.

69 A succubus takes special interest in the caster's soul

70-72 A celestial being takes special interest in the caster's soul and well-being (will help, mentor, and protect good-aligned characters while trying to save the souls of neutral and evil aligned characters by showing them the flaws of their ways and stopping them from doing evil).

73-75 Caster gains a new spell; if the caster memorizes, the spell appears in the caster's spell book, and if the caster is a spontaneous caster, he/she adds the spell to known spells. The spell is of the same level as the originally intended spell and is the one appearing just under the originally intended spell on the caster list in the official source material; if no spell of the same level appears in the official source material, nothing happens. Special: The newly gained spell takes place of the spell that caused the wild surge with the same target.

76-77 Nearest creature to target gains a Template (if touch spell, it's the caster); Templates are like a fucky 3E-thing like being a half-dragon or like, actually a robot or something. If you don't wanna deal with any of that shit, just change their race as if they cast Reincarnate, and make them a half-breed hybrid. You're a freak now.

78 All magical bonds (paladin’s mount, druid or ranger’s companion, and the like) within 100 ft. are shattered; the animals are set free but keep the bonuses from the former bond forever while the owner suffers as if the animal was killed. Special: Now that the animals aren't normal for their kind anymore, they can't be part of such a bond ever again.

79-81 Knowledge of the location and legends of an artifact of wild or chaotic nature is imprinted in the caster's mind.

82-84 Nothing happens; just smile and make the wild mage paranoid, and maybe hint that he/she has a strange feeling in the stomach.

85-87 A entity from the Far-Realm uses the wild surge to lay one of its eggs in the caster's stomach. Over the next week, the caster will begin to have stomach pains that stop 9 days after the egg was laid, then on the 10th day, a dire rat with the pseudo-creature template will burst out of caster's stomach, dealing 4D6 CON damage. If the caster is subject to a Heal or Remove disease after the surge but before the 10th day, the creature is killed and the character will never know how close he/she was. If the caster is immune to diseases, he is immune to all of this; just treat the roll as a roll of 82-84 on this table.

88 Cosmic Knowledge comes with a price; wild mage gains INT +4 WIS -2 CHA -2, permanent.

89 Cosmic Wisdom comes with a price; wild mage gains INT -2 WIS +4 CHA -2, permanent.

90 Cosmic Shine comes with a price; wild mage gains INT -2 WIS -2 CHA +4, permanent.

91-92 Reincarnated soul: The wild mage's soul is taken over by one of his/her previous selves. Remove all class levels and abilities and rebuild it as a radically different class up to the same level (the previous self might have been another gender and or race and find it a little strange suddenly being in this time occupying this strange body). The DM and player make an agreement as to what this former self was.

93-96 Wild mage changes type to Aberration, and every time the wild mage causes a wild surge from now on, he/she also gains a mutation. Roll on Random Mutations Table

97-98 Death appears wanting to claim the mage, if the mage argues, Death agrees to a game of Chess (it's reaaaally hard to win; Death has played it, like, a million times before). If the character wins, Death says “see you soon”; if not the character dies. Special: Death can only be seen by the character and people who can see ethereal beings, Death can't be killed.

99 Wild mage gets to chose an effect from any surge table, with a Charisma X3% chance that the effect will happen; if not, then the DM can choose any event they like.

100 A flux is created and the caster must make a saving throw. On a success, the caster is permanently immune to all magic both beneficial and harmful, but can't ever use spells, magic effects, (portals, heroes' feast, and the like), or spell-like abilities. He/she can even walk through magical effects such as wall of force or the like. On a failure, roll on this bad boy.