Wednesday, November 28, 2018


A Fairy Godmother is an interesting trope; it's barely been used in fairy tales at all, and yet we all think of them as ubiquitous to the point of parodying them mercilessly, even though the parodies far outweigh the serious portrayals. In fact, the concept was made as part of a satirical "Mother" class in Dragon Magazine #238.

But I like the trope unironically and like all things pink, sparkly, sugar-sweet, and cute. So I'm going to literally take a joke too far and run with it.

In case you somehow don't know this archetype, the Fairy Godmother is a fairy (or magician) with magical powers that acts as a parental figure to a young protagonist, much like a literal godparent. A Fairy Godmother is a creature of good fortune, hope and love, and reward for the innocent and the downtrodden. There do exist, however, Wicked Fairy Godmothers. They spite and harm children, but they still possess a warped sense of nobility or even love under their evil. When they curse and cast calamity, it is to punish the inhospitable, the hard-hearted, and the misbehaving. They stylize their victims as moral lessons to others to keep walking the straight and narrow, even if their lessons are "Don't snub someone from a party or they'll murder your daughter." Manners are important.

Hit Dice, To-Hit, Proficiencies: as Magic-User
Saving Throws: As Halfling
Experience: As Elf
Prime Requisite: Charisma

Spellcasting: Fairy Godmothers cast spells as a Magic-User of their level, with the following differences. They have no need for spellbooks (use 3rd Edition-style Sorcerer rules if you prefer), and all parameters are determined by their Charisma instead of Intelligence. Additionally, if you have access to them, you may learn Witch spells as well as Magic-User ones. If you don't have access to them, allow drawing from Cleric/Bard/Druid spells that don't reference the divine. In any case, Fairy Godmothers cannot learn or use any spells that harm or hex. Wicked Fairy Godmothers, conversely, cannot use spells that help or heal. Additionally, they can craft Magic Items as a Magic-User and Witch of their level.

A Spoonful of Sugar: A Fairy Godmother is someone who cares for children. It's part and parcel of who they are. A Fairy Godmother cannot advance in levels unless they are currently matron to a child. A Fairy Godmother may choose one child (or all children from a single family), and is able to perfectly Scry on them at all times. The spells and abilities of a Fairy Godmother always succeed on their Godchildren, and are doubly effective if the Godmother wishes them to be. Children can include adolescents and particularly innocent and naive young adults. Princesses very commonly have a Fairy Godmother for their entire lives, and a child having multiple Fairy Godmothers is not unheard of. A Fairy Godmother can technically change her Godchild at any point, but unless they're the type who moves from home to home, fixing up broken families and the like, this is just a heartbreaking sort of thing to do.

Knit with the Needles of Fate: When serving as a midwife, the Fairy Godmother miraculously guarantees the good health of a newborn child, sparing them even from stillbirth. In addition, a Fairy Godmother can read the destiny of any infant she delivers or cares for, functioning as if they cast Commune at three times their level, though only in regards to seeing the destiny of the child. After doing this, the Godmother may Bless the child's life. This blessing can be anything, equivalent to making a chosen ability score set to the racial maximum, the use of a 2nd level spell ability 3/day, or some other powerful but subtle effect such as "May they always be kind, and have the means of doing right", or "May they never want for wealth and warmth, in home or heart," or even "May they love everyone and be loved by all in kind." This is a Wish-level ability that permanently alters the nature and destiny of the child.

A Few Of My Favorite Things: A Fairy Godmother of 5th level or higher can produce objects freely, and can be assumed to have any mundane object they desire in a bag or on their person, and can withdraw them with comical disregard of spatial dimensions. These objects are magical creations, and as such do not have any genuine monetary value. Not even fake coinage can be produced, as the objects are very fine and very authentic, but simply are aesthetically pure expressions of utility or decorum. These objects cannot be sold, either, and may only be freely given. However, you can only give gives to each person once a year, else the previous object will be destroyed by karmic happenstance. At least one Fairy Godfather makes a point of giving gifts to everyone, everywhere, every year...

Additionally, a Fairy Godmother can produce a Magic Item with this ability with more restrictions. They can only produce a single Magic Item, period. Any second item immediately destroys the first, and consumables cannot be produced. The Fairy Godmother does not need to meet the item crafting requirements for the item she conjures, however, she may not benefit from it. This Magic Item must be immediately gifted to one of their Godchildren. The Godchild can keep it if they lose their status, but they must be their Godchild at the time of receiving the gift.

Bibbidi Babbidi Boo!: A Fairy Godmother of 10th level or higher is no longer merely what they were. If they were a mortal practitioner, they have ascended into being as a fey. If they were a genuine fairy, they have gained a true soul through having loved and been loved by children. From now on, the Fairy Godmother counts as either humanoid or fey entirely situationally, when it would be beneficial. She no longer suffer the drawbacks of either type of being. She no longer ages, and if she looked old already, she has aged beautifully, gracefully. She will live endlessly, her body never tiring as a mortal's as long as her life is filled with the very stuff of youth. If she did not have them already, she also gains the following powers: Fly, Teleport Without Error, Enlarge/Reduce, Haste, Prestidigitation, and Invisibility, all at-will as the spells.
Finally, the Fairy Godmother receives a special magic wand that can substitute all material components of her magic, and her singing can substitute any somatic and verbal components. This wand, additionally, is a Wand of Polymorph Anything Into Any Other Thing, with unlimited charges, which functions only for her. The Polymorphing always has a temporary duration (Such as, until the clock strikes midnight), and can't be used on unwilling creatures whatsoever. Changed creatures do not receive the combat abilities of their new form either. Sorry, your spellcasting rules still apply.

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes: A Fairy Godmother of 15th level or higher is now a Big Deal. You can now grant bonafide wishes to your Godchildren. Every Godchild you ever have can have the benefit of Limited Wish three times in their lives, or one true Wish, or seven Minor Wishes (Like Limited Wish except it only goes up to 4th level spells). You control the intent of the wish, but you must abide by the Godchild's wording. They cannot do harm to others or produce mind-control effects, you cannot coerce the wish in any way, shape, or form, and every wish must have some sort of moral lesson built into them unless they are pure, unselfish, or are their dearly earned reward for a lifetime of hardship. By moral lesson, one does not mean the wish should punish the child, but that realizing the full benefit should require the Godchild learn something good from the experience, so as to grow character.

Anything Can Happen: A Fairy Godmother of 20th level can be mistaken for a god. She can speak with all things, freely speaking with the dead, all animals, plants, stones, wind and rivers. She can speak with inanimate objects, the sun and moon and stars, and they will all do her favors for kindnesses done in turn. Aside from this already amazing ability, a Fairy Godmother can borrow magic from the world around her. Once a day, a Fairy Godmother can drain spells in effect, or the charges of magic items, around her, and cast a spell without expending her own spell slots. The spell drains charges equal to its own spell level. For example, a Fairy Godmother could cast a 7th level spell by dispelling a 3rd level spell on an ally, disenchanting a 2nd level potion, and draining two charges out of a staff. At some specified time, such as the stroke of midnight or the rising of the sun, the borrowed charges restore to their original places, even if it means restarting a dispelled spell effect, which would pick up its duration where it left off. An unexpected quirk of this ability is it always leaves a physical trace of the spell it was used to cast, such as a glass slipper...

Code of Conduct: Like a Paladin, there's certain rules for how a Fairy Godmother must behave, if she wishes to be practically perfect in every way. Unlike a paladin, she won't lose her abilities if she merely falls short of this sometimes; there's always room for improvement, after all. Only a rejection of the values below will cause one to become Wicked:
*Must have a cheery disposition
*Rosy cheeks, no warts
*Play games, all sorts
*Must be kind and witty
*Must be very sweet and fairly pretty
*Take your godchildren on outings and give them treats.
*Sing songs, bring sweets
*Never be cross or cruel
*Never give children castor oil or gruel
*Love your godchildren like a son or daughter
*Never smell of barley water
*Don't scold and dominate, too
*Never give your godchild cause to hate you

SIDEBAR: Princesses and Fairy Godmothers
The innocence of a Princess and the motherly love of a Fairy Godmother have more in common than one would think, even bearing in mind that the two always find themselves hand in hand in destiny's road. In the chance that a Princess reaches adulthood and loses their innocence, but does not lose their incorruptible, saintly purity of heart, they may trade their levels in the Princess class to immediately become an equivalent Fairy Godmother. There are some benefits to this; a Fairy Godmother that is a former Princess retains her Healing Affections, Too Fair to Kill, Friend to Nature, and Mystical/Miraculous Song abilities, though these no longer advance with their new level progression.

SIDEBAR: Wicked Fairy Godmothers
A Fairy Godmother that does not love children for who they are but only what they could be, or who sees children as a means to a moral point unto themselves. They are those who are monsters who prey on children so that those beyond their reach can be better for the fearful lesson. They function as a Fairy Godmother, save for the following exceptions: Firstly, they have no Code of Conduct, and can be right awful nannies and wicked old witches. Secondly, their spellcasting cannot include spells that help and heal.

Spoonful of Sugar is replaced by Brimstone and Treacle, which otherwise functions the same, but offers Godchildren no saving throw on hexes, harms, and curses set upon them, unless the child is a Princess.

Knit with the Needles of Fate becomes By the Prick of a Finger, which functions identically save that a child they midwife for will always have some sort of feytouched handicap or deformity. Additionally, instead of blessing the child, they may curse them. This can even go upwards as to curse a child to die in a certain way. These curses are Wish-level tragedies.

A Few Of My Favorite Things becomes Poor Unfortunate Souls. The limit on the gifts they produce is removed, but now they are Deals. A Deal requires the subject to trade something to you, such as their soul, their voice, their most prized possession, or whatever fey bargain you can manage. The deal must hurt. No "I'll give you this Staff of the Archmagi in exchange for your toenail clippings" bullshit.

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes becomes Friends on the Other Side. Your wishing ability functions like Poor Unfortunate Souls, trading wishes for painful deals. However, there is no limit on how many wishes you can grant, so long as someone is stupid enough to pay.

Anything Can Happen is replaced by Maleficence. Should you ever be brought to 0 HP, you can permanently sacrifice anything to become a horrifying dragon and everything that entails, forever becoming a terrible creature of unfathomable darkness and arcane might.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

"Once Upon A Time..."

So guess what it's time to have a crossover post with TLN's Royalverse, which is now the Royal Verse. The distinction means something.


There's lots of ways this post can begin. First, however, let us say you are familiar with TLN's Kings. If you aren't, come back when you have. ...Good.

The only way a post like this can start, for reasons that will become evident, is with a fairy tale.

Once Upon a Time, there lived a Little Girl, and her Father. The Little Girl was, in truth, neither little nor a girl, and her Father was neither a Father, nor a man. But between themselves, that is what they felt and what they knew, respectively. For once there was only the Father, and then there was the Little Girl. And the Little Girl declared that he was her Father and she was his Daughter and he agreed, having no reason to say otherwise.

They were always happy, and yet it was neither 'happy' nor 'always'. They did not suffer, they were not sad. And they had something we would consider love for each other, but time was so runny back in those days, before someone collected all the sands and laid them in a line forever, and the Daughter found that she was restless, and endlessly unsatisfied with the Nothing that surrounded them.

"Father, I would like you to make me Something," said the Daughter, to which he replied:
"Certainly, my Daughter, but first you would have to tell me what Something is." For while the Father was very capable, in fact capable of everything, he was not very creative. He saw the world as it was and wasn't, and not for it could be or might be. He could calculate anything, realize anything, invent anything, but he could not conceptualize or dream.

And the Daughter dreamed without limit, without restraint. So she told him exactly what Something was, as opposed to Nothing. And so there was Something. "Now, we just have to make more things! Father, could you make lots of colors?" And she described the various hues and shades and pastels she desired.

To create those colors his Daughter wished for, the Father realized, he would need to invent light. He would have to calculate wavelengths and photons and refraction and relativity. He tirelessly did all these things, to create the phenomena and processes that would give the world color. He did this as if it were as natural as breathing. As if it were his calling. In truth, he never had urge to do anything before his Daughter, but he took to this work with all his being. He took to this like it was his purpose. He took to this like he cherished his Daughter's smile. These were as true as anything could be said to be, which is not really much at all, but to him it was as true as anything he knew, and as true as anything he made, so to us, we would call it a deep Truth.

And so it was that every time the Father realized a wish of his Daughter's, she made him a Crown, and sat it upon his head, cheerfully declaring him the King of Light, the King of Colors, the King of Something, the King of Water, Air, Oxygen, Potassium, Life, Death, Sky, Plastic, Pink, Shrimp, Chocolate, Picture Books, Cough Medicine, Moth Holes in the Blanket, Bandaids and Boo-Boos, Salmonella, Broccoli, Coins, Counterfeit Coins, Magic, Sandwiches, Spiders!

The Daughter-Princess imagined everything, and the Father-King created them all, taking her Inspiration, her Wonder, her Meaning and pounding and forging it into solid Reality, the spirit of her intent manifest in the properties and processes of his Law.

Things were good, and they were happy. Or rather, the Princess was happy, and the Father was pleased that she was happy. Her bright passions were things he did not understand, and he knew his own only by looking for their shadow in the light of her own. She loved him, and if he felt anything for anything, he felt that she was the jewel of his life, the purpose of his work. Everything he had ever done, he had done for her, and giving her what she asked was his only desire, and so he never questioned the wisdom of her ideas. He had no faculty to deign something better, save for better ways to see them through.

And so it was that Time passed, for in truth Time was one of the last things the Princess requested. It was the last thing the King designed. When Time began, and all they created started to turn and live and die and breathe and change and melt and freeze and go and move and turn, she delighted, and he heaved in contentment, and she placed one more Crown on his head.

And the cruelty of Time is that causes have effects, and these can never turn back.

The One King was crushed under the weight of his One Crown, and he died. The Crown's fragments scattered and there was a King for every Thing, and the world was full.

This fullness came at the expense of the Daughter-Princess's. With no Father-King, she was neither a Daughter, nor a Princess. Everything she ever dreamed, she dreamed for him. Creating beauty for him to realize was her only desire, and she had never questioned the wisdom of her ideas. She had no patience to deign something better, save for brighter passion to see them through.

The Mourning Girl retreated from the world for a long... long time. A long, long, long, long time.

A very, very, long time.

For all that time, the world was incomplete, for the Daughter and her Father had never truly finished their work. And the world remains incomplete to this day, and yet...

And yet...

Eventually there were people. People were in the Plans, and they were Planned to come about at one point or another. The process to produce then had been designed, after all. But when People happened, they had a little spark of the Daughter-Princess. Her Wonder. Her Inspiration. Her Meaning and her Passion. That Something she had which was more than the mattter and the mud and the process and the plans and the solids and the stuff.

There are Kings, and they are not Gods, but they rule as such over the Things in the World, turning the gears of the engine. But that's only one half of the World. There is another, the Royals are the Royals, but there are those who sing the Verse.

There are those who tell Stories, they who perform for the Goddess who weeps for her father.

Without him, how can she finish the world?


More at a later date, in a separate post. The world is unfinished, and so is this tale.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Magical Girls, Transform! Now a Spell

So, Magical Girls. I've written several classes for them, but what if that's not what you want? You just want like, a taste? Well, one of my players unlocked it, you see.

There is a notable NPC in my setting that honestly deserves his own post at some point, probably; he's one of the Celestial Lords, presiding over the Neutral Plane of Elysium, Paimon is the name he wears, stolen from a devil prince. Paimon is the highest-level Princess in the planes, and possesses divinity. While he does not keep a religion or have a church in his name, it is inevitable that people will worship him whether or wants it or not. In his case, one must merely hold his spiritual and moral values, which are idealistic, innocent, and arguably naive and childish to an extreme. But... if you have the power to make that sort of world, why not reach for it?

Any Cleric, or Magic-User in a pact with Paimon, may cast the following spell: due to his greaser/rock n' roll tastes, its aesthetic is according, but just relabel shit to suit your campaign.

Custom Spell: Rock n' Roll REVOLUTION!
Cleric 1
Duration: Special
Range: Touch

This spell channels the spirit of Paimon, Sorcerer of Smiles, right into a willing vessel touched by the caster. If the subject wants power for the sake of spreading Hope, protecting Love, ending Suffering, and giving evil Salvation, then they can mantle the radiant soul of the Sorcerer of Smiles, becoming one of his angelic Gangsters of Love. This is literal; the transformation is coupled with a special determination or emotional impetus, so if you have a goal in mind, or a strong emotion, the transformation lasts until it is resolved. For instance, if you transform out of worry for someone's life, you change back as soon as you feel relieved for their safety. On the other hand, if you're transforming for the sake of hurrying to acquire a cure for a friend's disease from a horrid tomb, you can probably maintain it for a whole dungeon delve, even if a puzzle requires you wait for hours. In any case, you never un-transform when it'd be dangerously inconvenient to do so, such as if you're maintaining a power keeping you safe.

This spell has many effects, as the Gangster of Love transforms, becoming a prettier, sexier, cooler version of themselves; details are variable but a pompadour (often with streaks of their Kokoro color) and a higher level of glam is constant. This form allows the subject to add their Charisma modifer to AC, Saving Throws, and Attack Rolls. If they lack a positive Charisma modifier, they still gain a +1 benefit. In this form, the Gangster radiates a Goodliness that puts even the brightest Paladins to a pale, dim shame. They are simply the brightest this world has to offer.

Secondly, the Gangster of Love gains an indestructible focus tentatively called a Lucky Strike, though they usually have their own form and names. A Lucky Strike can be used as a melee weapon that deals 1d6-1 damage. However, while this damage is fully effective on fiends and undead and creatures of pure evil (ignoring resistances and immunities), it only deals non-lethal damage on anyone else, and any such people defeated by it instead rolls a Morale check against the Power of Friendship. The Lucky Strike is also a necessary focus for using Pomp Powers; without it, they cost twice as many Pomp Points.

A Gangster of Love has Pomp Points equal to their Level+1, and each Pomp Power costs 1 point to use. The spell and transformation typically ends when you run out of Pomp Points, though your Determination might manage to make it persist a bit longer. Every Gangster has the Shining Smile Beam, a magical laser that deals 1d6+Level damage and follows the same rules as melee with the Lucky Strike. At higher spell levels, add +1d6 to the damage die. Each Gangster also rolls 2d6 to determine a theme color and power, which is set for that person forever. See "Colored Kokoro."

Finally, if the Gangster has an animal companion or familiar they're emotionally connected to, they can elevate it into a Greaser Mascot. Their form is augmented to a specific form based on the Gangster's Level, and gains a power based on a d6 table (See "Mascot Mutations"). The Gangster cannot select a different companion as long as their current one is alive.

If this spell is cast at higher levels, the benefits are all magnified, changing the Pomp Points to Character Level+Spell Level, and allowing a Gangster to roll a new color to have simultaneously with their original, so that a 7th level casting makes you a literal Rainbow of seven-colored powers (though these are also set and consistent even on additional castings).

There is a danger to this spell, however. Every time it is cast, there's a 1-in-6 chance that 1d3 Heartaches are born from the Darkness to oppose the brightest of Lights.

Colored Kokoro (2d6)
2. Pink: Rose Healing Serenade!
3. Red: Crimson Magma Escalation!
4. Orange: Citrus Shielding Sphere!
5. Yellow: Luminous Valor Sunshine!
6. Green:Verdant Vine Binding!
7. Teal: Seafoam Pearl Tsunami!
8. Blue: Eternal Blue Ascent!
9: Purple: Royal Passion Illusion!
10. Black: Dark Matter Transmutation!
11. White:White Angel Honeymoon Kiss!
12. Prismatic: Roll a different color every time you transform!

Pink Healing Serenade: This Pomp Power wraps the subject touched in a rose-shaped bubble of pink light, and heals them 2d6+Gangster's Level in Hit Points. This Power also cures all diseases, normal or magical, though magical diseases gain a saving throw to resist.
At Higher spell levels, add another die of healing to this powers, and give an increasing penalty to the saving throws of magical plagues.

Crimson Magma Escalation: The Gangster creates an explosion of lava streams, ash clouds and debris made entirely of Love energy. This impressive display levels an area around the character (60 ft radius) and inflicts 1d6-1 damage (save for half damage) in the affected area for 1d3 rounds.
At Higher spell levels, add another dice of damage to this power, increase the range by ten feet, and the duration by another 1d3.

Citrus Shielding Sphere: This Power creates an orange bubble big enough to hold the Gangster and up to four friends; the bubble can be maintained for an hour, and protects against all conditions, including the vacuum of space, and also blocks all attacks. Roll a number of d3s equal to 1/2 the Gangster's HD, minimum 1; that's how much punishment a Sphere can take.
At Higher spell levels, add another level to the bubble's duration, another friend the bubble can hold, and increase the bubble's Hit Dice by a step, accordingly: 1d3>1d4>1d6>1d8>1d10>1d12>1d20

Luminous Valor Sunshine: The Gangster can surround a touched ally in a yellow aura, that gives them a quasi-Gangster state. Though they don't get any Pomp Points or Pomp Powers or even a transformation, they are able to add your Charisma modifier to their attack rolls, AC, and Saves. This automatically expires at the end of an encounter/scene, if the Gangster's transformation is cancelled, or if the subject takes enough damage to incapacitate them.
At Higher Spell Levels, increase the duration of this Power by an additional encounter/scene, and add a +1 bonus to all the above things modified.

Verdant Vine Binding: Glowing green energy vines grow from the ground and coil around existing terrain such as wires and bridges, and snag a target. A successful saving throw avoids the trap, otherwise the person bound by this Pomp Power is restrained for 2d6 turns.
At Higher Spell Levels, you may target an additional target and add a die to the turns restrained.

Eternal Blue Ascent: This Power allows the Gangster to grow glowing white energy wings, and fly at three times their normal movement speed. They can carry up to four people with this power with tactile telekinesis, and this power lasts three minutes per level.
At Higher Spell Levels, you may carry an additional person and last an additional minute per level.

Seafoam Pearl Tsunami: The Gangster transforms a landscape into rubble with a tsunami wave of teal-colored energy that tears down all structures in an area around the character (60 ft radius) and hits with a 1d6 + Level damage (save for half damage). This power also allows the Gangster and four people to breathe underwater for three minutes per level.
At Higher spell Levels, you may grant an additional person waterbreathing an add an extra die of damage.

Royal Passion Illusion: A purple haze is released in a hundred foot fog around the Gangster, who may choose to target as many targets as equals his level, or focus on one target who takes the Gangster's Charisma modifier as a penalty to the Saving throw; a target cannot have more HD than the level of the Gangster. On a failed Save, subjects are subjected to a mesmerized state where they are shown whatever false reality the Gangster desires. This lasts for 2d6 rounds, and they immediately snap out of it if they take any damage.
At Higher Spell Levels, add another die to the rounds duration,and add an extra target you can effect with this power (and can effect targets of +1 HD to the caster for each spell level).

Dark Matter Transmutation: The Gangster must declare how the power is being used:
1. The Gangster may take the shape of any object or creature and acquires abilities of the new creature (flight, bite, claws, etc.), but retains the character’s Hit Points, intelligence and combat skill. Powers or special abilities are lost while transformed, but not Gangster abilities. The Referee may allow a better armor class due to small size, or armored hide. Other details must be decided by the Referee as the character transforms. This form lasts one hour per level of the Gangster.
2. Alternately, the Gangster may transform another creature into a different creature. This creature gains the abilities of the new form, but keeps the intelligence and Hit Points of the original form. Powers or special abilities are lost while transformed. The spell’s range is 60 feet. The power lasts for 24 hours per level of the Gangster.
This power does not improve with Higher Spell Levels.

White Angel Honeymoon Kiss: The Gangster channels Paimon's celestial essence without any color-filter; while there is flashing lights and effects and messianic imagery, there is no beam to dodge or make contact with. A subject is merely selected; a friendly target is healed 2d6+Gangster's Level in HP and cured of diseases as with Pink Healing Serenade, or they may be healed of a drained level, a curse, or some other malady that normally requires a saving throw. A hostile target can be given an equivalent amount of damage, or purified of curses, possession, or whatever else, though on all cases they are entitled to a Save.
At Higher Spell Levels, this power adds another dice to related factors, and also allows for greater miracles. At 2nd level, hostilities take your Charisma modifier as a penalty to the saving throw. At 3rd level, you are able to to purify mutations and regenerate permanent injuries and disfigurements. At 4th level, you are not only able to drive out possessing forces but Banish them. At 5th level, you are able to purify magical effects as if you Dispelled them. At 6th level, you can revive the dead, and at 7th level, you can purify atoning evil creatures, turning fiends into celestial beings, undead into benevolent guardian forces, and aberrations into entirely unique otherworldly beings of Goodliness.

In Addition to all of the above, when cast as a 7th level spell (or whatever is your maximum for Clerics), a Gangster of Love is capable of a genuine miracle. A Gangster can cast Wish, and it will come true without fail, as long as the Wish is genuinely selfless, purehearted, and aimed toward making the world a better place in some way or done for someone's benefit. However, not only does this cancel the transformation, but it also makes the caster of this spell unable to cast it again, at any spell-level, for a full week.

An ordinary animal, augmented by the power of magic. Whatever the creature is, the Gangster must have a meaningful emotional attachment to it. While transformed, the animal gains some sort of obviously unnatural feature. Antennae or butterfly wings on a cat, a pastel fur pattern, whatever. Given the aesthetic of the Sorcerer of Smiles, it's also possible to give this bond (as well as temporary intelligence) to a favored vehicle, especially motorcycles and personal cars. Things like large ships are usually too big for the enchantment to take root. As a reminder, a bond with a Mascot is permanent even when the spell is over. When the spell is recast, the Gangster must share his power with the same Mascot unless it is dead or destroyed.

Mascots improve at a rate equal to the Gangster's level.
1-4: Kawaii
5-8: Evolved
9+: Mythic

Use these stats unless the creature innately has better:

AC: 14
HD: 2
Attacks: 1d6
Saves: As Master's
Special: Roll once on the Mascot Mutation table.

AC: 15
HD: 5
Attacks: 2d6, x2 attacks
Saves: As Master's
Special: Roll twice on the Mascot Mutation table.

AC: 17
HD: 8
Attacks: 4d6, x3 Attacks
Saves: As Master's
Special: Roll thrice on the Mascot Mutations table.

1. Flight
2. Tough Skin (+4 AC)
3. Ranged Attack (As Shining Smile Beam, but 1d6+2 damage, usable as many times as the creature's HD per transformation)
4. Three times as fast
5. +2d6 damage to attacks
6. Magical! (Roll a random spell it can use; Kawaiis get a 1st level spell they can use 1x a transformation; Evolved can use their 1st level spell 3x now, and gain a 3rd level spell they can use 1x. Mythics can use their 1st-level at-will, their 3rd-level 3x, and now gain a 5th level spell they can use 1x.)

And finally...Heartaches are shadowy monsters that come out of the Darkness to target these beacons of Light. 1d3 of them are summoned on every 1-in-6 chance of the Gangster of Love transformation as well as every hour the transformation is maintained and whenever the Gangster fails a Save VS Magic, with the number of Heartaches increasing at every spell level, as follows: 1d3>1d4>1d6>1d8>1d10>1d12>1d20

AC: 15
HD: 5
Attacks: Enervation

Heartaches are shadow beings that are immune to any mental effects such as Sleep, or Charm, or anything else. They don't even have intelligence for a Gangster of Love to redeem; they're just pure badness. They take half damage from anything except the attacks and powers of a Gangster of Love, but their own attacks don't do damage. Those hit by a Heartache must make a Save VS Death (or CON, or Doom, or whatever) or lose a level. This level always heals back after 24 hours of rest, and multiple levels will still all heal at once, but you lose all the benefits of the level until then. If a target is fully drained of all levels, they can be struck once more only, and then are drained into a husk, which dissipates like pillar of salt.

Heartaches take -2 to AC and all their rolls in full sunlight or in happy environments. Cheerful music, happy crowds of people, all of these things damper their essence.

If a Heartache drains a Gangster of Love's levels, there's a reality-warping paradox effect. Everyone in the area, friend and foe, is now subject to Wild Magic rolls for their supernatural abilities. This aura lasts for as long as the Heartache menace is present, and the range is as far as the Heartache and/or the Gangster can be observed. Wild Magic is rolled with Disadvantage during this event; meaning roll two results on the table and take whichever one is worse for the Gangster, in particular. The more likely it is to make their heart ache, the better.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Racial Class: Kitsune

This blog isn't pink and gay enough, right?

To-Hit and Hit Dice: As Rogue
Save: As Elf
XP per Level: As Elf
Prime Requisite: Charisma 13

The kitsune probably need no introduction; they are Yokai from Japanese mythology; tricksters, fox-spirits, shapeshifters, with many tails. And everyone does them wrong. Literally everyone. I hate it.

Kitsune live forever, and have a tail for every one hundred years of life, gaining their final ninth tail when they are 900 years old. It is possible for a kitsune to gain tails early for major promotions of gaining great magical power. For gaming purposes, Kitsune PCs are exceptional enough that their magical growth gives them a new tail every two character levels, just like a wizard gets access to new spell levels due to obvious implications.

To elaborate on kitsune tails, the number of tails a kitsune has is about equal to their power. For simplicity, the number of tails a kitsune has is equal to the level of spells they can cast. A nine-tailed kitsune is able to bang out 9th-level spells. This also increases their needs when they magically drain; A kitsune cannot regain spell slots simply through rest like a mortal wizard; perhaps they could if they were mere spirits, in the spirit world, only affecting other spirits. But in the material world, they must drain to fuel their magic and their existence.

Chinese and Japanese mysticism broke the world into different elemental affinities than the familiar four Greek elements, and of particular interest was the existence of thirteen lower elements, which almost all yokai spirits fell under. These elements were Wind, Earth, Fire, Rivers, Heaven, Thunder, Mountains, Void, Spirit, Time, Forest, Ocean, and Music. Heaven could be understood to be the sky and celestial forces, the Void to be darkness and emptiness, Music to encapsulate all 'good sound', and Spirit to be the invisible forces of magic, spiritual influences, and invisible beings.

In the case of kitsune, they had powers influenced by their element. A Fire Kitsune would be immune to fire damage, and have greater aptitude at fire magic, etcetera. We'll elaborate more on this later.

Additionally, kitsune were divided into something similar to Seelie and Unseelie Courts; kitsune are meant to serve Inari, God of Rice (and thus the patron god of all human life in Japan), and were not unlike his/her angels. These 'Myobu' kitsune were meant to refrain from manifesting directly in the world without permission to satisfy some task, and were cut off from the pleasures of the world (for good reason, as we'll discuss later). Wild foxes, or 'nogitsune', were willful, independent, pleasure-seeking foxes with wanderlust, and are thus what a PC is assumed to be. A Myobu kitsune is always Lawful, and a Nogitsune is always Chaotic.

The kitsune is a spirit, and physical existence is not natural for them. A kitsune can appear directly in the physical world, but this is disruptive of nature, and as kitsune are nature spirits, there are consequences. When a kitsune manifests, it drains energy of its respective element from the environment. A fire kitsune kills flames and drains heat; a music kitsune kills sound, drains the beauty out of voices and music, and turns song into wretched noise. More on this below.

A kitsune can avoid this issue by possessing a person, instead. This is done by invading a subject's dreams and draining their willpower. A possessed person is not aware of their possession state, and remembers none of it. Possession is not usually long-term, as in this state a kitsune can be banished by Turn Undead and any other exorcism effects, and in addition their shapeshifting is limited (see below).

A third option is to possess an unborn child, and to effective reincarnate as a human. We'll call this the avatar method. An avatar cannot be banished or exorcised, but while they retain their long-life, they must eat, drink, sleep, and suffer the ravages of disease like any other living being. A physically manifested kitsune is also totally susceptible to vice; a kitsune is totally vulnerable to all pleasures and indulgences, such that they need to make a saving throw to not indulge in any slight temptation.

Kitsune are, fundamentally, a sort of vampire or succubus-like creature, and this must be kept in mind. When they physically manifest directly, they must feed on their element or, more daringly, on actual people and their souls. The amount of energy to manifest physically is extreme. A kitsune possessing a host still needs to feed for their magic, and must drain the host or another human to maintain the possession, but an avatar needs to drain only for the use of their magic. For all intents and purposes, they are part of the physical world as long as their avatar lives.

If a kitsune wishes to feed off of a person's soul, they must first touch them. This is only for the first time; after that, a link is maintained. A soul only gives energy if the subject is willing; for a willing subject, the experience is pleasant, and so many kitsune disguise and establish their feeding via sexual intercourse. The more a subject willingly gives, the more pleasure they feel, and the less severe the drain on their body. Essentially, treat this as a succubus' Energy Drain, except that in the case of genuine love, this drain is purely temporary.

As a general rule, a kitsune has to drain one level per HD to exist physically/maintain a possession, AND one level per spell-level to regain those spells. To clarify, to recharge your 9th level spells, you need to drain 9 levels to charge all of your spells of that level, not 9 levels per 9th level spell slot.

Or, actually, if you want to do it that way, be my guest, that's metal as hell. Tamamo-no-Mae, one of the most famous and wicked nine-tailed foxes, literally had to drain a thousand people to death to enter our world.

Either way, translating this into elemental feeding is trickier. How many HD does a river have, or a song? The point is that a kitsune is an environmental, elemental blight that causes major suffering, disparity, and ugliness in the world. A GM has to account accordingly and really sell this in the story. The effects of a drain should never be anything that can be turned to a boon, like a Sound Kitsune letting their friends be silently sneaky; attempting to drain the sounds of a thief makes them cacophonously loud and disruptive, in a way that pleases no one's ears.

On the matter of kitsune reproduction, since kitsune have a lot of sexual intercourse; a kitsune only conceives a child when it consciously wishes for it; the child can be a fox or human regardless of the form the kitsune is currently in, but in any case the child is actually a kitsune with its own avatar by default. If a kitsune is possessing a human, they cannot control their fertility and their children are not kitsune, but their children often have innate magical powers like a third edition Sorcerer. A kitsune can choose to do this on purpose instead of having avatared kitsune kits, as well.

Elemental Properties:
Wind - Feeding from the wind would leave stale, unhealthy air. This would be hard to breath, and would be sort of a 'pocket', remaining in an area until a stronger, fresh wind could dissipate it. Think of more of a 'dead zone' in the spirit world, that needed to be swept away. This would tie in well with the legend of Tamamo-no-Mae, where when she transformed into a stone, anything that approached her died or withered.

Earth - Feeding from the earth would allow kitsune to draw from the stones, and from the soil. This would more than likely kill most crops, as the land becomes cracked and blighted.
Fire - Feeding from fire would snuff the flames. Note that most kitsune create foxfire, so this most likely would be a common form of feeding.

Ocean - The kitsune could draw nourishment from the oceans, the waves, and from the sea creatures found there. This would leave behind still, flat water, with no wind or sea life to be found in the vicinity.
River - The river kitsune would feed from the riverside and brook, leaving tainted water, dead fish, and possibly a dry riverbed at the most extreme.
Forest - These kitsune would wither trees, feeding from the wood and the plants around them. Animals in the vicinity would weaken.
Time - Time kitsune would feed on the lifespan of the things around them, aging them at an unnatural rate. Time might seem to slow around them as they feed, making tasks seem longer and harder than expected.
Void - These kitsune could feed from the marshes and swamps, leaving stagnant, poisoned waters and dead creatures. They could also feed from the shadows around them, stealing the shadow of people, or making the darkness seem more bleak.
Heaven - These kitsune feed from the essence of magic and the heavens. This includes drawing from sorcerers if they can, or ley lines. They would also feed from knowledge, like books or from stories told. This would make the books harder to read or remove the words, or could cause a person to forget what had been said, or what they were saying. (And this does seem to be a trick some kitsune do..) These kitsune would also feed from starlight, or if bold enough, from the warmth of the sun.

Mountain - These kitsune can feed from rocks and stones and precious metals and gems. Such things would crumble or become fragile after. The mountain ranges and hills the kitsune fed from could transform into barren wastelands and jagged rocks.
Thunder - These kitsune feed from the storms and harsh weather around them. This quells the storm eventually, after producing a stale, lifeless rain.

Spirit - These kitsune feed on other spirits, hunting them and devouring them. They would leave weak, lifeless spirits in their wake, if anything at all. These are also the ones most likely to harm people they fed from.
Music - The kitsune can feed from music, poetry, and the feelings connected to this. It can leave a musician without inspiration or skill, or leave the music lifeless and dull.

Abilities & Weaknesses:

Kitsune have a number of weaknesses. As explained before, kitsune are vulnerable to spiritual wards, exorcisms, Turn Undead, etc. when in spiritual or possessing forms; but the Men of the Cloth are their bane in general. Someone who has genuine faith (Clerics, Druids, Paladins, extremely, notably religious NPCs, etc) are practically toxic to a kitsune. They cannot see a kitsune's illusions whatsoever, and automatically dispel them when touched; they are also capable of breaking a kitsune's connections to a feeding victim with an opposed saving throw, and roll with Advantage to see through a kitsune's shapeshifting. Finally, they cannot be drained, themselves.

Kitsune have a large number of abilities. They cast spells as illusionists of their level (If your game has no Illusionist spell list, just restrict them to the illusion and mind control spells of the Magic User), with the exception that for a kitsune, their illusions are reality. When a Kitsune disguises themselves as a human, they ARE human and can even sire human children. If a kitsune disguises a staff as a snake, that snake can move, bite, and kill. If a kitsune disguises the sky with night, vampires may walk even if it's afternoon teatime. If a kitsune makes a wall invisible, they can walk through it. You get the picture. However, as established before, people of faith cannot see their illusions, and automatically dispel them on contact. The psychic shock of this always drives a kitsune into temporary insanity, as their sense of reality is broken and needs to rebuild itself. Illusions based on that kitsune's element are slightly more real, and everyone rolls with Disadvantage on their saving throws for those effects.

In fact, their ability to fool reality is so powerful that at name level, a kitsune is capable of producing a functional pocket dimension, capable of even controlling its planar traits and time dilation.

Kitsune can shapeshift, outside of their spellcasting. All kitsune, save for possessors (they must use illusions), can shift between fox, human, and anthropomorphic forms. They can also shift into anything else that could be encountered in the natural world, including other people. They do not gain the abilities or powers implied by these forms, though if the form is related to their elemental affinity, people roll with Disadvantage on saves or checks to notice the deception. This is because when a kitsune shapeshifts, their tails are always visible, EXCEPT in their Avatar form, or in a form related to their element.

A kitsune can also produce foxfire, ghostly white balls of flame created by rubbing their tails together. These free floating, heatless orbs radiate a pale and clear light, and move as a kitsune mentally directs. They are lanterns and toys, as if they were an at-will Dancing Lights, but they can also be thrown as simple, burning weapons. This is not Magic Missile, and thus still be aimed, but a Foxfire ball can be thrown for 1d4 damage.

A kitsune in a possessed or avatar state has a white ball called a Kitsune Ball. It looks like a simple toy ball, to all respects, is one. It doesn't even produce a magical aura. However, when manifested in a proper body (either theirs or otherwise), a kitsune must store the majority of their power in a kitsune ball. It is, effectively, their soul. If stolen from them, a kitsune can be trivially bound by the right spirit-binding magics, and they are unable to use any of their kitsune powers except for vampiric draining. Even a simple peasant can magically bind a kitsune to perform three services in exchange for their ball. You should probably make sure one of them is "Don't kill me and everyone I've ever loved."

Kitsune, depending on how they have manifested, can be harmed in different ways. A physically manifest kitsune cannot be harmed by normal weaponry, only blessed and magical ones. However, even when they are, they have prodigious regeneration, capable of healing damage through their vampiric draining. If a kitsune is harmed, they can drain a level from the environment or a person to effectively cast Cure Light Wounds on themselves. Possessing or Avataring Kitsune do not have this ability.

However, a Possessing kitsune is safe; what happens to their host does not matter to them, as they will just escape into their spirit forms. An Avatar Kitsune suffers damage like any other mortal, but has no special spirit-based weaknesses.

As a reminder, a kitsune does not have access to the memories, knowledge, or special powers of a subject they possess either.

When a kitsune is killed, they are banished back to the spirit world. It is here they must be defeated to be permanently slain. Unless in the case of a possessing kitsune, their powers are effectively stripped of them; a kitsune in this state cannot cast spells or use any of their abilities save for their vampiric draining, and all their existing links to mortal souls are broken. Regaining their abilities requires them to drain levels equal to their Hit Dice, every day for a year and a day. This can be hastened by ritualistic offerings, which shave off a week for every day they are performed. The kitsune must still drain during these times. If these ritual offerings involve human sacrifices, they shave off a week per HD/level of the sacrifice, in addition to the normal benefit.

Finally, a kitsune can sacrifice one of its own tails to immediately revive itself when it is killed, effectively burning off its own levels to fuel its own resurrection. Due to all the above, it's no surprise that the most powerful kitsune are generally all horrible monsters.

As a final note, any Magic-User spells that can be associated with a kitsune's element should be added to their spell list. These are not illusions, and are genuine changes to the world. A Time Kitsune can cast Time Stop and Haste; a Music Kitsune can create genuine sounds and Power Words.

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Burn My Dread and Break In, Break Out To the Truth

Persona. Awesome video game series. It involves kids who do traumatic things to summon that trauma out of their heads to fight demons, and it's awesome. How is that not OSR-ified already? Or you can use this class to do Jojo's Bizarre Adventure stands, or like any other thing where someone summons a Fuck Off Monster out of themselves. Because honestly, that shit is dope.

Hit Dice and To-Hit: As Cleric
Saving Throws and Experience: As Wizard
Proficiencies: As Rogue

 Awakening: A Persona User's power comes from the ability to turn their ego and inner strength into physical form. Choose a monster with HD equal to no more than your level+1; your Persona may have any appearance you wish, usually one symbolic of your ego identity in some way, but otherwise its appearance and stats are defined by this monster-form. Every time you level up, you may evolve your Persona into a different monster, completely replacing it. A GM may also decide that you've experienced enough character growth in a single adventure that you may change the form of your Persona; however, these are the only times you may change your Persona's nature, and the HD cap always applies.

Evoking: Personas do not have a persistent physical presence like a familiar; they are indeed merely a facet of your mind, and have no agency or reality beyond that. To make use of his power, a Persona User requires some sort of physical totem that they can use to manifest their Persona, such as shooting themselves with a fake gun, putting on a mask, fondling a favorite childhood toy, or some other symbolic item and gesture. Without your Evoker totem, you cannot summon your Persona. Summoning a Persona is a full-round action, and it manifests within 10 feet of you. It can explore farther away than this, but your Persona must remain within your sphere of perception. If you can't see, hear, or otherwise notice it with your own senses, it will vanish. This range is considered a 360' sphere, so simply walking behind its master doesn't negate it; knowing where it is is fine.

Your Persona is an extension of yourself, and shares your initiative and actions. While your Persona can move with you, having your Persona take actions requires using your own action to command it to do so. This command is telepathic.

Damage taken by a Persona is suffered by its master as psychological trauma; any damage your Persona takes also inflicts half its amount in non-lethal damage to the character. If a Persona is reduced to 0 HP, its manifestation is destroyed and the Persona User is dazed and can take no actions for one round. After this, they can conjure their Persona at full HP, but their own trauma remains.

If your Persona need make any Saving Throws, they are keyed to your Wisdom if they weren't already.

A Persona is considered a psionic construct, if you use those rules in your game. Thus, a Persona User should optionally be considered a Wild Talent and should roll psionic points and abilities appropriately.

Strength of Heart: Your Persona is more than just your inner strength; it's also the self your ego puts forward to protect itself. Whatever damage reductions, immunities, spell resistances, fast healings, and the like your Persona has are shared by your actual body.

I Am The Shadow, the True Self: Persona Users are ones who gain power through looking at their innermost selves, and accepting them with no comforting lies. They roll with Advantage to all saving throws involving illusions, mind control, enchantment, possession, and the like, since they're not exactly alone in their own mind. If they critically succeed on this saving throw, their Persona can make a free attack at any mental intruder.

However, if they critically fail (meaning both dice come up as 1), their Persona goes berserk and becomes a Shadow, evoking itself independently of its master, and wearing their form as if they were a product of a Mirror of Opposition. The Shadow psychologically torments its former master by airing out their innermost thoughts in ways they can't cope with; the Shadow knows exactly how to break you, as it is the part of you that you have repressed. The Shadow is capable of freely switching between monstrous and human forms, its monster form symbolically evocative of whatever angst the User is vulnerable to, and has appropriate abilities, the HD cap temporarily raised to twice the Persona User's level.

In addition to being unable to Evoke a Persona during this nightmare, the Persona User also suffers a -2 to all mental ability checks due to the stress. Defeating the Shadow restores the Persona User to normal, and gives him a chance to reshape his Persona.

 On the bright side, whatever effect they were saving against is negated and replaced by the berserk Shadow. Sorry, Mindflayers, too distracted by my own mind calling me a bitch-ass in front of my friends to care about your brainwashing.

Bonds of People are the True Power: At Name Level, you no longer require an Evoker in order to summon your Persona; mere mental effort is enough; nor do you suffer the dazing, or need to concentrate for an entire round. In addition, you begin attracting 1d6 level 1 Persona Users who will call you Senpai (and one of them is absolutely the Chosen One for some big dumb anime plot to save the world) If you receive four or more apprentices in this way, one of them is guaranteed to be something that isn't a standard human or demihuman, like a dog, robot, space alien, or benevolent Shadow.

Additionally, you are now officially recognized by a shadow government and are financed as an official school club. Your classmates might be a bit intimidated by the new Extracurricular Execution Squad that walks around with red armbands and realistic-looking guns, but listen, don't even worry about it.

OR, if you prefer a less shitpost-y Domain Play entry, you instead gain access to an extradimensional realm in your trances and dreams which resembles a really posh parlor or some other symbolic resting place that evokes imagery of your personal quest or narrative arc. Only you have access to this place, and you gain the service of multiple non-human beings that offer their services as scholars, informants, and so forth, if you can pay them properly. In addition, you are now able to switch the form of your Persona every time you go to sleep.

Saturday, June 9, 2018

There's enough Candy monsters for an Elemental Plane, so...

Djellos, the genies of the Elemental Plane of Candy.

Easily recognized by their comically large pompadours, frequent smiles and sunglasses, Djellos don't maintain closed comunities like other genies, but rather live entirely in the present. Going from place to place, they are extremelly fond of cold fizzy drinks; soda is like a catnip for them, and they speak odd words such as "groovy" and "Radical!" They are often employed as heralds or diplomats while being paid in soda and ice alone. They are the peacekeepers among geniekind; loved by even the most stone-hearted due to being such genuine coolguy partybros.

All djellos are "noble" genies, because honestly the distinction never made sense to me.

A Djello is a Chaotic Good, 10-HD genie. They count as oozes for all possible bonuses, and have immunity to blinding effects and gaze attacks due to their cool eyewear. If struck by slashing or piercing damage, they split into two smaller Djellos like an ooze. They are immune to Candy-elemental damage, and diabetes.

A Djello is capable of flight, Creating Candy and Soda, protection from Cavities, shooting jelly webs, Charm Monster, Prismatic Patterns, Heros Feast (except it's all candy), Orb of Acid, and most notably, Gelatinous Wish.

Three times a day, a Djello can grant a non-genie a Gelatinous Wish. A Gelatinous Wish function exactly like the Wish spell, except anything created by the magic is made out of sugar (jelly, baked goods, candy, chocolate, etc). These candy creations are fully functional as the real deal, including raising a dead friend as a candy golem, and this magical candy is impervious to natural rot and decay, because that's totally whack, yo.

Djellos are extremely proud of this ability, and consider it superior to a normal Wish. After all, it does everything a Wish would grant you, PLUS gives you candy with an indefinite shelf-life. They'd tell you to suck it, losers, but that's totally bad vibes, bruh. They think Efreeti are totally tubular even if their Wishes are inferior and they act like haters to everybody.


Seriously, has anyone made an Elemental Plane of Candy yet? Let's get that Adventure Time shit going.

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Racial Class: Vagairy

To put it simply, Vagairies are like elves or fey, if they were also Missingno.

They are the psychic run-off of humanity; living dreams that could have perhaps been gods if they were more coherent, more convincing of the lie that they are real. Instead, they are the stillborn failures of mankind's dreams and wishes. They command great spiritual power and wisdom, but are simply unable to properly use it as they should. They're the autistic savant children of Divine.

Imagine if you will a spirit born out of the world, made of entirely random, unrelated concepts of Men's Dreaming. An empty suit of armor with a stocky, masculine form stands, a floating cyberpunk mohawk crowning the hollow space above the chestplace. It speaks in a helium-like young child's voice, and it refuses to budge, demanding water and that it has enough sun. A warrior-a-rebel-a-child-a-plant; scrambled and assorted madly. Perhaps it doesn't have the concept of self-preservation; many of their kind were such, entire generations of their ilk merely stood and allowed themselves to be slaughtered.

For they are persecuted by the Church. The Church. That Church. Your Church. Any Church. They are parasite embryo gods that siphon off faith merely by interacting with mortals, sustaining themselves as a prolonged dream and distracting them from full-hearted devotion. And no god wants to see these things rise up to their level. It's not that Vagairies are particularly more wicked or dangerous than other creatures, but that their ascension undermines faith in the Gods themselves.

Because Vagairies are less than even humans. Their souls are nubs and karnels. Sparks of ash compared to the burning candles. All of them lack of a core, fundamental aspect of what it means to be human in their psyche. A Vagairy that does not love is not one that simply does not fall in love but in fact literally cannot feel it. A Vagairy with no sense of self might mistake the rumors he hears as his own thoughts and opinions, and never be able to vocalize an original statement of belief or intent.

In exchange for these handicaps, they command great power. While they will not be loved by gods, they have a psychic insight greater than any other kind of creature; they were born from the sea of the unconscious, after all. And beyond that, they were born directly of the womb of the Earth, and may command the world. The samurai-plant-child above, for instance, might always have the sun, because they defined themselves as always having enough. Perhaps it is always daylight within their line of sight. At any hour of the day, or when hidden from the sky. Perhaps our rumormonger who cannot tell his thoughts from hearsay can hear every rumor in the world, and knows all secrets that have been shared with another.

And there are those that can actually pass for human. The ones that can hide their natures, conceal their flaws, and pass themselves off as children of gods.

There is nothing that will not be more cursed by Heaven and all under its dominion than such a child, no matter how sincerely innocent.

Below is the generalities of playing a Vagairy, but do note that exceptions to every rule exist, by design.

Advance: As Elves
Saves, HD, To-Hit, etc: As Pseudo-Class
Ability Scores: Vagairies are especially in tune with the world, but have weak egos. If you use Ability Score Racial Modifiers, give +2 Wisdom and -2 Charisma; if you use Requirements, they should have a Wisdom of atleast 13 and a Charisma of no more than 12.

Vagairies can advance in a single class of their choice in a similar way to how Elves emulate Fighters and Magic-Users. They cannot be Clerics, or any other class that functions due to being in the good graces of a god (rarely, a god may accept a Vagairy, though they usually encourage their natural gifts instead of giving them divine empowerment). This is an attempt at the Vagairy to fill the missing part of themselves, as Vagairies are not, and cannot ever be, true people. Pick a major portion of human experiences; the Vagairy can never experience or comprehend it. Examples could be never knowing love or being loved, being incapable of forming long-term memory, having no self-preservation instinct, or even no concept of being an individual separate from what they observe. They might even lack major 'flaws', like being incapable of hatred. This list is not exhaustive, and it should be sufficiently debilitating in their impersonation of people.

Vagairies have no souls, and thus cast no shadows and are immune to anything that requires it, including Raise Dead; they are like Elves in this way, except they even lack their lower spirits. In exchange, they each have a type of limited instrusive telepathic insight into the people around them. Perhaps they can smell relationships and thus know who's associated with who, or perhaps they know every rumor about a person (without knowing truth from lies). Perhaps they can quote the last thing your mother ever said to you, or sing your favorite song from your memory. It should always be mono-focused in this way, and played to eerie effect; Vagairies have this ability because they do not understand the walls between people; they come from the soul-sea underneath the people-islands in the collective consciousness.

At 2nd level, and every level thereafter until Name Level, a Vagairy gains another Power, but gains another Ban. Powers can replicate spell-effects, or be more esoteric. Good examples include things like a cat-form that can return from the dead nine times in exchange for her memories, or the ability to command a single type of monster in exchange for taking their weaknesses from them. Bans are rules that a Vagairy can never deny or break, such as never being able to handle man-made items, enter homes or churches, or be above ground during a sunset or sunrise. If a Ban is broken, the Vagairy loses access to its corresponding Power for atleast as long as it broke the Ban, plus a day per level.

At Name Level, a Vagairy has stepped closer into the realm of humans. They may choose to cast a shadow and repress their bans and powers, and gain the half-souls of elves. They can start gathering followers as a member of their Pseudo-class, but they must repress their true nature to them unless they are a fanatically loyal follower. They also gain a quasi-immortality, such as being unable to die under the light of the moon, or always returning to life three days after their death if mourned for by a virgin that loved them.