Thursday, September 21, 2017

Platinum Pieces Are Bullshit

So I'm not going to retread old ground, here; if you're reading this blog you've probably heard of using Silver Standard or perhaps even Copper Standard currency in D&D. In case you haven't, the basic low-down is that using gold as the standard is not only historically inaccurate, but is bad game design; starting level 1 players with 3d6 x 10 GP is way too much, and creates a set of expectations where 40 GP in a chest is a rounding error instead of a reason for people to squabble, draw swords, and go crazed with greed. Fuck that.

In such a Silver/Copper standard, you basically change all instances of 'GP' to the proper coinage, increasing the value of everything else accordingly. A sword worth 10 GP in your player's handbook is now 10 SP in Silver Standard, etc. To facilitate this, atleast one adventure module I've seen (Isle of the Unknown for the Lamentations of the Flame Princess gameline) uses Tin Pieces as a lower-than-Copper coinage.

Now, this is interesting, as metallurgically, tin is less common and thus more valuable than copper, but alchemically, this makes sense. The idea of coins having alchemical significance is an appealing one, because gold pieces and gems are implied by the rules to have inherent magical significance. What else could it mean to have spells cost arbitrary amounts of money in material components possibly mean? Gems might have mystical symbolism, like a Rose Quartz being an emotional healing stone, but gold seems to act as a natural conductor of magic for all general purposes.

 So, what do we do about Platinum Pieces? Most would tell you that there's not really any need for a better-than-gold piece, but we can justify it, because gold is not actually the final product of alchemy. Turning lead to gold is merely a process, not the end goal. Alchemy is about spiritual purification and elevation of the soul. The Magnum Opus is the process of purifying the soul by way of learning to manipulate the world; transmutation is essentially metaphor.

In this model, Tin Pieces are the unworked lead, and Copper Pieces are the first step; Nigredo, the blackening which represents putrefaction and spiritual death. It represents the soul meeting itself, and forced to face the worst of its inner nature. Obviously, Copper isn't a black material, but it does have associations. Copper decompose and oxidizes in time, becoming green and eventually blackish. Additionally, of all the major metals discussed here, it's the most biologically oriented, involved in dietary management, and often being created from traces of petrified organic matter. It even has associations with degradation of the soul; elevated copper levels have been linked to the onset of alzheimer's.

Silver is Albedo, the whitening or purification, and is quite an intuitive match, here. Silver is a metal of purity and sacred, anti-evil power in most mythologies; it has associations with the moon, and with harming or repelling evil or unnatural creatures. In many real-world magical traditions, it's also associated with witchcraft. The Alchemical Magnum Opus discussed Albedo as the separating of opposites for later reunification; remember this point.

Gold is usually associated with Rubedo, but it's also been associated with Citrinas, the yellowing or transmutation. It is here that silver is turned to gold, and the power of solar symbolism is utilized. This is also fairly obvious; gold has sun associations in D&D and various religions, and has a more celestial presence. It's associated typically with mainstream religions in power symbolism, and also has mystical governance over the material world. Money can buy everything, and all that.

Rubedo, the Reddening, is the finale of the process. The end of the Great Work. This is the wholeness. Silver and Gold and all other opposites come together to create spiritual and material perfection. It's the production of the Philosopher's Stone, and rather than the stone being a magical chemical that turns lead into gold or create immortality potions, it's in fact the ability to create them that lets the alchemist perform these tasks.

So, we'll call these Philosopher's Stone Pieces, or PP for consistency. What sort of society would produce these Rubedo Coins and be able to trade in them? This would be a society wherein anyone capable of minting coins is necessarily spiritually perfect and immortal. An entire society of eternal people in a D&D-verse? That's your high-magic ancient empire. Those are always decadent, and they either destroy themselves or become forces of villainy.

And if we're going to act on pop cultural interpretations of the Philosopher's Stone, like in the Fullmetal Alchemist anime? These red shits are made out of goddamn human souls.

Under a Silver Standard, a Philosopher's Stone Piece is worth 1,000 SP, or 100 GP, continuing the pattern. This would make their worth consistent with the material costs of most resurrection spells in D&D. This also implies unfortunate production methods.

Philosopher's Stone Pieces can only be produced through the sacrifice of sapient souls, equal to one coin per HD/Level of the soul. A 0-level humanoid would be worth 1/10th of a coin.

So there's a society of powerful immortals that are, if not extinct, are secretive, non-interventionist, and thus probably extraplanar. Why are children spirited away? It's not by the fey; it's this society, needing to print some more coinage. This could be the fate of their slaves and prisoners. The worth of this currency might not seem to be worth the sacrifices, save their high, high value. Non-human immortals like elves and fairies all respect this currency even if they don't recognize gold and silver, and when dealing with demons, devils, and other soul-merchants of the planes, these coins are worth six times their normal value.

To that end? An immortal who doesn't want to sell their soul could coax their heart's desire out of the Devil's mitts, if they can sacrifice a sufficient number of high-level adventurers, in a form convenient for innocuously passing around, laundering, and spending.

Carrying trade goods around isn't very practical after all. Whether they're bundles of crops, bars of gold, or the wailing damned...

Thursday, September 7, 2017

d30 Things in the Wizard's Chamberpot

So your party finds a chamberpot under the wizard's bed in his secret laboratory and look in it. For...some reason. What could be inside this Magical Realm?

1. Piss and shit. What did you expect?
2. Chocolate and lemonade. No really! The fuck?
3. Fungi of Wonder, eat it and get fuckin' high!
4. Fungi of Wonder, eat it and fuckin' die!
5. Fungi of Wonder, eat it for a Rod of Wonder (or some other random effects table you love) effect.
6. Fucking Goblins. Right where you would expect them to be, playing around in the shot like its snow.
7. Some dude named Jack.
8. A fucking devil. It'll pull your soul out your was ass and go back in.
9. All kinds of bullshit. Its a Chamberpot of Holding!
10. All kinds of bullshit. There's a Minotaur nearby...
11. His soul. He's a lich and he never thought anyone would plunder a fucking chamberpot. You fucking nutcase.
12. A portal to Hell. Demons give him power in exchange for shitting on the damned.
13. Its a portal to Heaven. Holy Shit!
14. Yourself, looking into a chamberpot. Woaaaah.
15. A random potion.
16. Holy water. least it used to be. Undead will still recoil from it because. Fucking E.W.
17. Gold!
18. A Piss Elemental, and its pissed!
19. Yo Momma! No seriously. You've finally found her after all these years.
20. A princess. Someone will pay a huge reward for her...if you restore her to expected finery. She won't go home smelling like this.
21. An entire city of halflings, or drow, or whatever race you want to imply is worthless shit.
22. Its his homebrew! Add A link to someone's blog you wanna throw shade at! Ohhhhh snap, you just implied it's shit! Be nice though and put like a magic item or something from their page in here.
23. Its his homebrew! There's some potent booze here. Save against blindness and memory loss, but get xp as if from carousing.
24. Your waifu. Roll up a random anime girl to be your follower. See "Your Waifu is Shit" sub-table.
25. Your husbando. As above but a dude.
26. Its a Warp Pipe! Jump in and come out somewhere else.
27. Its a Warp Pipe...and a Piranha Plant jumps out!
28. A beanstock grows out into the sky as soon as you look. You can climb it to some mystical cloud world.
29. It turns out the power was inside him all along. And then he shat it out. Eat his excrement and gain a spell slot.
30. A fairy. It'll grant you a wish for freeing it!

 "Your Waifu is Shit" d12 Table:

Waifus (and Husbandos) are shit. Anime is shit, and it was a mistake, just like looking in the wizard's chamberpot. Your character now has a new love-interest whether you want to or not, and you can't get rid of them conveniently or easily due to comedic shenanigans. They're a free follower who you never need to check Morale or Loyalty for; they are your soulmate. You poor bastard.

1. Tsundere - "It's not like I like you or anything..." This type of character loves you, and hates showing it. As jealous, possessive, sweet, or head over heels for you they might be, they present a sour, abrasive face. They'll insult you, deny liking you, and keep griping about how much of a pain you are, but suspiciously refuse to disengage. Rather, they'll berate you for neglecting them, if anything. But once you crack their shell, they're more of a classical love interest.

2. Yandere - "Tell me you love me too...or else." You ever read Misery? Yeaaaaa. This character is, on the surface, the perfect lover. You're their highest priority. You're their only priority. You're their only...anything. They need you more than you've ever need anything, and nothing will stop them from having you. Not other girls. Not your parents. Not the law. Not even your own consent. And they tend to solve their problems bloodily. Being theirs isn't optional, but if you go along with it, you can't ask for a more devoted slave and bodyguard.

3. Dandere - " that book, too? I've never...met someone else who..." While wearing glasses and being into books isn't necessary for this archetype, it's quite common. Danderes are your typical shy, quiet girl who doesn't speak much on their own, and has to come out of their shell. They'll never make the first move, and generally think they don't have a chance with the person they like. In 80's high school movies, this is the 'ugly and unpopular' girl who always gets the make-over for the finale. Except we all know they were hotter before. We all liked Velma more than Daphne, don't even lie.

4. Kuudere - "..." These characters are like emotionless robots. Either they're emotionally stunted and never show emotion and/or don't understand it, or perhaps they literally have no emotions. Usually they get written off as having no personality, as opposed to just a shy one. They tend not to know about this thing you call Love, but when they start feeling it, tend to take a purely servile role. They're perfect slaves.

5. Deredere - "AHH~! You make me the happiest person in the world!" The more classical love interest archetype. This type of person is cheerful, kind, energetic, and affectionate. They'll almost always make the first move, and pretty much are total Pollyanna types; they bounce back from everything, don't hold grudges, and always see the bright side. They'll be your biggest advocate.

6. Himedere/Oujidere - "Ohohoho~! So this is how commoners eat. How quaint." The Princess or Prince type; whether or not they're actually royalty, or affluent, they have magnificent taste and decorum, excellent manners, and a powerful charisma. They're often haughty and elegant, and treat dating you as a favor toward you. They'll pretty much never take a submissive role, and are always highly ambitious. They wear the pants, and they're gonna be ten-thousand dollar designer pants imported from Paris or some bullshit.

7. Utsudere - "I don't want to die without being loved... please don't leave." This character is just sad. They have trouble trusting their current happiness. Maybe their last lover raped them, or they have a terminal illness and will be dead within the year or whatever. They're desperate and self-defeating. They crave hope desperately, but they're too conditioned to despair to hold onto it.

8. Undere - "Me too, I also think that!" These are yesmen. They think the best tactic to hold onto their loved one is to say yes as much as possible; they'll agree with anything. You know the type, 'wow what a coincidence we have the same favorites and all your ideas are good!"

9. Bakadere - "U-uwah! Sorry...sorry! Sorry...oops... sorry..." The cute, clumsy idiot. As sweet and innocent as they are, they're so dumb and useless it overshadows all their good points. Anything they try to do, even as simple as holding a tray of drinks, is doomed to go disastrously. If possible, it will wound up in an erotically charged manner, like stumbling over in such a way that you get a panty shot or get a face full of boob-smush.

10. Hajidere - "U-u-u-we...u-um...I-I...I l-l-li...lik-AH!" This is the shy, embarassed, flummoxed archetype. They can never just spit out what they feel, and even the slightest sign of affection makes them too red in the face to function. If you don't push them, they probably won't so much as hold your hand until your honeymoon. They have some sort of anxiety disorder or something.

11. Kanedere - "You're my little golden boy, $weetie." The gold-digger. They love you, they'll shower you in all the love and affection you could ever want. As long as the money flows. They'll always sweeten the relationship if you give them gifts or keep them financially secure. They might not immediately leave you if the coppers run dry, but...

12. Nyandere - "You're the purrfect boy, the cat's meow~" This character acts like a cat. They might be part cat. This is the anime catgirl, either literally or figuratively. If you're not making obnoxious puns what are you even doing, kill yourself. If furries aren't allowed in your world, you get a reroll because you made God proud and you don't deserve this.

Monday, September 4, 2017

[Cliche Quote About Mirrors On A Wall]

Sometime even the naively innocent become jadedly cynical, and the higher they stood the further they fall. Most Evil Queens were once Princesses, which gave up their pure hearts turning instead to a path of destructive greed for power and position. This lost innocence fuels their magical growth and dark powers, transforming those last vestiges of who or what they were into something dread and dangerous. Others were spellcasters first, alloying dark magic to their soul to give them a presence and dread command which allows them to stand and tower over normal mortals. Like Princesses, they may be any gender or identity; their hallmark is their vanity and self-centeredness, much like how a Princess can be a boy or girl, of royal or common blood, so long as they were beautiful, innocent souls.

Hit Die: d4
To-hit progression: As Wizard
Saves: As Cleric, changing any Wisdom references to Charisma
Weapons and armour: As Wizard
XP per level: As Cleric

Code of Conduct: An Evil Queen must, obviously, be of evil alignment. All good they do is ultimately to serve selfish ends, or because they are bound by their word out of a sense of honor. An Evil Queen must not feel genuine, selfless love for another person, and an Evil Queen that saves someone else at their own expense for no reward will lose their powers as their icy heart thaws into one capable of warmth.

Dark Tongues: An Evil Queen learns to speak the languages of the most dread of creatures, picking them up as naturally as a babe takes to their mother’s tongue. An Evil Queen learns Abyssal and Infernal as bonus languages (or some other language for the evil spirits of your world), if they already know one of these languages they may select another in its place.

Imperious Presence (CHA): An Evil Queen’s beauty is as great as her darkness, sensual and lovely even as it is reinforced by the dark magic woven through her soul. Any creature attempting to attack an Evil Queen must make a Wisdom Saving Throw or suffer a -4 penalty to attack rolls, increasing to -8 if it would deal lethal damage or kill the Evil Queen. Creatures which are attracted to the Evil Queen’s gender suffer a -2 penalty to this save.

Additionally, An Evil Queen is by her nature a ruler, even if she does not have the status yet. An Evil Queen adds her level to any intimidate or diplomacy checks in your games, based on Charisma, and never takes any penalties on this checks that aren't magical in nature. Additionally, when she makes reaction rolls with Evil-aligned NPCs, she always starts favorably with them.

Corruptive Charm (CHA): An Evil Queen’s magic corrupts and alters those it touches. Beginning at 2nd level, an Evil Queen can cast Charm Person as a spell-like ability 3/day per level. Whenever an Evil Queen successfully charms a creature that creature’s attitude towards her improves by one step (up to friendly) even after the effect ends, and that creature is incapable of realizing on its own that it was charmed. In addition if the Evil Queen keeps a creature charmed for at least 1 whole week then their alignment shifts one step towards Evil; a creature with class features which would be lost due to this alignment shift, an alignment subtype other than Evil, or any other metaphysical investment in a non-Evil alignment is immune to this change.

Witch’s Craft (CHA): An Evil Queen is a witch of the highest caliber and learns a variety of magic to work their will. At 3rd level, an Evil Queen gains spellcasting as a wizard (or sorcerer, if your game makes a distinction) as her level -2. If you have a Witch class in your game, you may also use that. Otherwise, use the Wizard/Sorcerer spell-list, with a preference for any spells for shapeshifting, scrying, cursing, desecration, mind control, summoning, glamours, and the like. Any spells on other spell lists that fit those themes should be allowed, and spells that obviously don't fit (summoning angels, selfless healing, etc.) should be restricted.

Binding Curses (CHA): At 4th level, Evil Queen’s baleful magic is of great power and resistance to attempts to remove them. Harmful spells with a permanent duration (curses) cast by an Evil Queen are unaffected by Anti-Magic. They cannot be dispelled, and save for a Wish or something equally powerful cannot be broken save for meeting the single condition the Evil Queen must impose. This may be as simple as “When the next Solar Eclipse occurs” or “If you bring me the Macguffin I demand”, or may be as impossible-seeming as “Until a week where two Mondays become one”. The conditions must be possible to accomplish, even if they must be met allegorically or symbolically. Fairy Tale logic is in full effect. Even death does not free a creature from an Evil Queen’s curses, the magic still extent when the target is resurrected (if they are) or reanimated as intelligent undead.

If an Evil Queen dies all her curses lose this benefit until she is resurrected. An Evil Queen may dispel her own spells normally. In addition a Princess’s Kiss to Break the Curse functions normally against such curses.

Timeless Body: An Evil Queen’s dark pacts sustain her body against age, maintaining her physical form and appearance even if it cannot hold back death. Beginning at 5th level an Evil Queen ceases to physically age, and her natural lifespan doubles.

Dark Binding (CHA): An Evil Queen is able to imbue those who serve her with power and in the process bind them to her. Beginning at 6th level an Evil Queen may bind a single creature to her will either with an act of intimacy (kiss, caress, etc) between her and the target, or an act of obeisance from the target is required to create this binding. To do so is a standard action and the target must be conscious and must not be struggling or physically resisting the kiss/caress/etc or go through the act of obeisance without magical or physical compulsion; threats are acceptable. Dark energy floods into the target and they may attempt a Wisdom Saving Throw to resist this dark binding. If they fail, or choose to forfeit their save, the binding is formed. The target gains: a +2 bonus to all ability scores, resistance to all damage equal to your Evil Queen level, a +1 to all perception checks plus 1/3 your Evil Queen level, and bonus HP equal to your Evil Queen level. However an Evil Queen may invert this effect at her will as a move action. If she does so the target loses all benefits and instead suffers an unbreakable curse of your design, utterly unbreakable even by the Gods. A Princess's Kiss is still capable of suppressing it for 24 hours.
The Evil Queen can end this binding at will as a standard action, or through attempting to bind another creature. Otherwise this binding can only be ended by the Evil Queen’s death.

Profane Grace (CHA): An Evil Queen is protected by the very force of evil that rages within her soul, warding away blows and baleful effects. Beginning at 7th level an Evil Queen gains a bonus to AC equal to their Charisma modifier and adds their Charisma modifier to saving throws.

Dread Beauty (CHA): An Evil Queen’s beauty is reinforced by her magical prowess, invading the minds of those who can see her, making their aim falter against her. Beginning at 9th level any creature which can see an Evil Queen is unable to attack her as if protected by the Sanctuary spell, save that she is not restricted from attacking others. A creature that is attracted to the Evil Queen’s gender is unable to make a save against this effect. This is a mind-affecting effect.

Dread Queen: An Evil Queen is a being of dread power and sovereignty. Beginning at 10th level she may apply a Dark Binding to a creature with hit dice no greater than her Evil Queen level without ending previous Dark Binding effects, and may have any number of creatures with hit dice no greater than her class level affected by Dark Binding at once. If she mistakenly tries to bind a creature with more than that many hit dice then nothing happens unless she chooses to break any previous Dark Binding applied to a creature with more hit dice than her class level. An Evil Queen with a Familiar, pacted demon, summoned creature, or other such companion may apply a Dark Binding to them regardless of their hit dice without it counting as their Dark Binding.
A creature attracted to the Evil Queen’s gender is considered to have 2 fewer hit dice for this effect.

Additionally, an Evil Queen of 10th level is able to construct a castle and start gathering followers as if they were a character class of whatever has the highest social standing in your games (a noble, if your game has one, or following that a Knight, Paladin, Cleric, or Fighter).


An ex-princess who becomes an Evil Queen gains certain special bonuses based upon their levels in Ex-Princess and may trade in her levels of Ex-Princess into Evil Queen levels, gaining additional abilities. Hell rewards and adores the corrupted innocents much more than those who come into its embrace more readily.

The abilities gained by an Evil Queen due to her ex-princess levels are listed below (cumulative except for casting):
1st: She gains an AC bonus as a princess of her ex-princess level.

2nd: She gains spellcasting as a 1st level sorcerer, and Fiendish Empathy. Fiendish Empathy (CHA) functions as Wild Empathy (or any equivalent ability to befriend, tame, and train animals that exists in your games) except it applies against evil Outsiders such as Devils and Demons (even mindless ones), evil aligned magical beasts, and anything with a Fiendish nature regardless of their Intelligence.

3rd: She gains spellcasting as a 2nd level sorcerer, and Dark Beauty. Dark Beauty (CHA) grants the Evil Queen a +4 bonus on deception checks and a +2 bonus on other Charisma based checks against creatures which can see her, and such creatures suffer a -2 penalty to checks made to deceive the Evil Queen. If a creature is attracted to the Evil Queen’s gender the bonus from Dark Beauty against them and penalty applied to them are both increased by 2.

4th: She gains Obscured Alignment. Obscured Alignment (WIS) prevents the Evil Queen’s alignment from being detected by any magical effect returning an answer of True Neutral, unless the Evil Queen overtly acts in an Evil manner, or chooses to suppress this ability.

5th: She gains a Wizard's familiar, except that they may not be a creature that naturally has a good alignment, a dove, or a songbird.

6th: She gains Behold My Beauty and Despair. Behold My Beauty and Despair (CHA) causes any enemy creature within 30-ft of you which can see you to have to make a Wisdom saving throw or be shaken as long as they are within the aura. This functions as the fearsome presence of a dragon. An Evil Queen may suppress or reactivate this ability as a free action. A creature attracted to the Evil Queen’s gender suffers a -2 penalty to their saving throw against this effect.

7th: She gains True Witch. True Witch allows an Evil Queen to change her appearance, freely and at-will. This is purely a cosmetic, magical effect, but she does count as a shapechanger for game effects.

8th: She gains Dark Healing. Dark Healing adds each Cure and Inflict spell, Lesser Restoration, Restoration, Greater Restoration, Harm, Heal, Raise Dead, Resurrection, and/or Revivify spell in your game's cleric list to your sorcerer spells known and spell list.

9th: She gains Charming Words. Any humanoid creature that she speaks to for at least 3 rounds must make a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed as Charm Monster for 1 hour. This is a mind-affecting effect, creatures attracted to the Evil Queen’s gender suffer a -2 penalty on their saves against this effect.

10th: She gains Queen of Hell. Once a year, an Evil Queen may cast Wish; or rather, she beseeches the powers of evil to grant her a Wish. So long as this wish furthers the interests of evil or undermines goodness, the spirit and intent of the wish is taken into consideration. However, this Wish is unable to directly effect a Princess. They cannot be killed, cursed, or have the effect of the wish manifest in their line of sight at the time of casting. The Princess's purity is so great that not even the infernal abyss may intrude upon its presence.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Everything's Better With Princesses

A Princess is a girl, or occasionally a boy, of such exceptional purity of heart and soul, fairness of face and skin, and kindness of spirit and act that the world itself recognizes this. Often, but not always, they are of royal or noble blood, even if not always raised in their proper status. A Princess's greatest powers are her kindness, and purity, and their ability to ward off evil with nothing more than these.

This class covers one of the more obscure Magical Girl subgenres, which intersects with western fairy tale fiction. The Magical Idol Singer is the archetype referring to someone who uses magic through or for music, and rather than being a warrior or magician they're a figure of fame and glamour. This is probably one of the last Magical Girl classes I'll make, aside from some inverted/anti- versions. There's also the Cute Witch, which might be doable as a subclass for one of the various great OSR Witch subclasses out there, but there's just too many to pick from, and I'm not sure how much original design space I need to actually use; that one's more a matter of attitude. Just take a Witch, make her good aligned and naive, and give her as many 'cute' spells as possible.

So, without further ado...

Hit Die: d4
To-hit progression: As Wizard
Saves: As Cleric (using Charisma instead of Wisdom where applicable)
Weapons and armor: None
XP per level: As Cleric

Code of Conduct: A Princess must be of Good alignment, and may not willingly commit evil acts or allow other good creatures to come to harm if they can prevent it. A Princess may also not harm or kill a creature that is not an active threat to herself, excepting evil dragons, evil outsiders, and undead. Failure to abide by these rules will make her lose her Princess powers, Paladin-style.

Hallmarks of a Princess: At level 1, a Princess
  • Can speak with animals, as the spell, continuously.
  • Is naturally talented at singing and dancing and may add their level to any checks involving either of those two skills.
  • Is prohibited from Multiclassing. A Princess's power comes from the belief that sincerity is valuable and kindness change the world on its own.

Healing Affections (CHA): A princess can cure 2 hit points per level once per day. It's fueled by the power of love, so it even works on constructs (etc, etc) and doesn't hurt undead (etc, etc).
  • At 5th level, a princess may duplicate the effects of a targeted Remove Curse with a kiss 3/day; the caster level equals her princess level. To use this ability on an unwilling creature requires the princess to grapple it.
  • At 10th level a Princess may kiss (as a standard action) a creature that died within 1 round per 3 class levels and breathe life back into their body. The target’s body must be intact, and they are revived with -1 hit points (but stable) and if ability damage reduced any of their ability scores to 0 they are revived with one point of damage to that ability healed. A princess may use her Healing Affection on the target as part of the same action. A princess may use this ability once per day, plus an additional time per 3 levels after 10.
  • At 13th level, princess may apply the effects of a Greater Restoration spell to a creature they heal with their Healing Affections ability.

Too Fair To Kill (CHA): At 1st level, a Princess always benefits from the Sanctuary spell, excepting Undead and Evil Outsiders (except Succubi). If the Princess ever attacks a creature for lethal damage, she loses the benefit of this ability for ten minutes.
At 3rd level a princess’s inner beauty and virtue begin to ward her from evil influences. The princess is continuously protected as if by Protection from Evil. In addition, a princess’s inner goodness is apparent enough on the surface, that any creature can automatically sense that she is good aligned.
At 5th level, A princess may attack a creature which has struck her, a construct, an undead creature, or an Evil Outsider through this ability without breaking its effect, but if she attacks any other creature, or orders them attacked, this effect is permanently ended upon all creatures which can see the princess.
At 7th level, they are protected from the damaging planar traits of planes with the Evil alignment trait, and suffer no penalty from the Evil alignment trait of planes.
At 10th level a Princess radiates an aura of protective energy out to 10-ft. This duplicates the effects of a continuous Magic Circle against Evil centered on the princess. In addition, evil outsiders, even those on their native plane, may not touch the princess (including make natural weapon attacks upon her), and she gains a +4 bonus on saving throws against their magical and supernatural abilities.

Intercession with Fate (CHA): Fate and fortune conspire to protect the pure and innocent. At 1st level a princess adds her Charisma modifier (if positive) to all saving throws; this does not stack with Divine Grace from other sources. In addition, a princess may intercede with fortune on the behalf of herself or another, bending fate and chance in their favor. A princess may, as an immediate action, allow a creature which failed a saving throw to re-roll it saving throw taking the new result instead. A princess may use this ability a number of times per day equal to her Class Level.
- At 4th level if there is a natural hazard which could potentially not harm a princess it does not; a rock slide misses her, she passes through thorns unharmed, a gust of wind misses her, etc. The princess treats any check (save or otherwise) against all pervasive natural hazards (such as heat and cold) as though it were a prime.

Friend to Nature (CHA): A princess is the friend of all natural creature. At 2nd level, Animals, vermin, magical beasts, and plant creatures with less than human intelligence never attack a princess unless she threatens them directly. Even trained creatures ordered to attack a princess suffer a -4 penalty to their attack rolls against the princess. If a magical effect would compel such a creature to attack the princess it is treated as if there were two contradictory compulsion effects and the source of that effect and the princess must make opposed Charisma checks to determine which effect takes precedence.

Mystical Song (CHA): At 2nd level a princess gains the ability to sing songs which uplift and stir the spirit. While singing she may not cast spells with verbal components, although she may incorporate the simpler command words of magic items into her songs. A princess can sing one mystical song per day per class level, and may learn a new one song every other level. Some songs may require multiple uses to activate.
  • At Level 2, the princess may select only songs from the Least Mystical Song list.
  • At Level 6, the princess may also select songs from the Lesser Mystical Song List or two Least Mystical Songs.
  • At Level 10, the princess may select songs from the Greater Mystical Song List or two Lesser or Least Mystical Songs.

Fairest of them All (CHA): A princess’s beauty goes beyond the norm for their race, both their physical beauty, and their spiritual beauty. At 3rd level, the princess may add 1+half her Class level (rounded down, and in addition to any normal bonuses she'd get from her level or charisma) to social interaction checks with creatures which have seen her. Such creatures receive a penalty equal to 1+half the princess' level (rounded down) to checks made to deceive the princess. Undead and Evil Outsiders other than succubi are immune to this effect.

Miraculous Song (CHA): At 12th level a princess learns a song of extreme power. This song functions like a mystical song, but does not use her uses of mystical songs for the day. Instead she may only use this ability once per day.

Beloved by the Gods (CHA): The gods of good so love a princess that her words can sway them to action. At 15th level a princess may offer a prayer to a good aligned god (silent or aloud) and expect response. This functions as a Wish spell. A princess may use this ability 1/day, but if this is used for a function of the Wish spell which would normally have an XP cost (or goes beyond the intended use of the spell, or whatever for your game), the princess must wait 1 month before using it in a way which would have an XP cost again.

A princess may choose to gain a 2nd Miraculous Song in place of this ability.



Beastcaller Song, Lesser: When a princess sings this song for 1 full round a single animal from the local area appears to aid the Princess. This song functions as the Animal Friendship spell, except summoned animals already know 3 tricks and they remain loyal regardless of the conditions they're put in. After all, the Princess will lose her benefits if she abuses her friends anyway. She can additionally add her Charisma modifier to the HD maximum of animals she's allowed to keep.

Call Messenger: When a princess sings this song a tiny or smaller animal that lives within 1 mile hears it and comes to the princess. It then functions as if the princess had cast Animal Messenger on the animal with a caster level of her princess level. A princess must maintain this song long enough for the animal to reach her, and if there are no tiny or smaller animals within range this ability fails to function. A princess may designate an animal either by species (a crow) or by traits (a Tiny bird), in which case an animal fitting that description comes to her if one is within range and if there are none an animal of another kind comes in its place.

Calm Animals: When a princess sings this song it affects all animals within 30-ft as if with the spell Calm Animals.

Champion's Song: When you sing this song select one creature which can hear and see you sing it and one ability score, class feature, skill check, saving throw, AC, or any other RNG-dependent aspect of their character sheet. That creature gains the benefits of your Charisma bonus added to that feature for as long as it can hear and see you singing, and for 1 round thereafter. You may maintain this song for a number of rounds equal to 1/2 your Charisma modifier rounded up.

Cleaning Song: If this song is performed while performing cleaning tasks, 10-ft of area can be cleaned per round, as if the prestidigitation spell was used to clean them, but all squares must be no more than 5-ft from the princess. This ability does not cost uses of the princess’s Mystical Songs.

Coordination Song: While a princess sings this song any allies which can hear her gain a +2 morale bonus to attack rolls made against targets they flank and gain a +2 morale bonus on any skill check or similar. A princess may only sing this song for 1 minute per Princess level.

Countersong: As the bard ability of the same name.

Dance of the Stars: If a princess performs this song several small lights appear around her moving as the princess wills within 20-ft of her plus 5-ft per 2 Princess levels. A princess singing this song creates one light per point of Charisma bonus she possesses (minimum 1), and each of these lights produces light like a torch and can be whatever color the princess desires; these lights interact with spells as if they were cantrips. A princess using this ability may move the lights within the area as a free action. Using this song does not cost a use of the princess's Mystical Songs.

Fascinate: As the bard ability of the same name.

Hallowed Song: A princess can sing a holy song which drives away evil power. When a princess sings this song creatures of evil within 60-ft of her which can hear her take must make a Wisdom save or take 1d6 nonlethal damage per 2 class levels the princess possesses. The princess may maintain this song for up to 1 round per 2 princess levels and while a creature can only be affected by it once, any new evil creatures which enter the area, either due to the princess moving or due to moving into it themselves, must make a Wisdom save or take this damage. This song has additional power against Evil Creatures and Undead. Against such creatures it deals lethal damage and they receive half damage on a successful Wisdom save. In addition they take 1 damage per 2 princess levels the princess possesses each round they are in the area of the effect (no save).

Healing Song: A princess’s song can stir life back into creatures. When a princess sings this song each living creature within 30-ft of her heals 2 hit points per round that it is sung. A princess may maintain this song for up to 1 round/2 princess levels.

Reeds in the Wind: A princess’s song stirs the inanimate into action, causing plants to dance as if in the wind, and move to grab at those who would threaten the princess. While singing this song plants within 20-ft of a princess writhe protectively around her. This functions as an entangle spell in the area, except that the princess and any animals assisting her are completely immune to its effects and creatures which are not Hostile towards the princess have no need to make a Dexterity save being treated as if they had successfully saved against the effect. A princess may maintain this song for only 1 round plus 1 round per 2 princess levels she possesses.

Revealing Chorus: When a princess sings this song invisible creatures within 20-ft of the princess, +5-ft of the princess per 2 princess levels, become visible as semi-transparent. This effect lasts as long as the princess sings. An invisible creature which leaves the area becomes invisible once more, and one that enters it (or has the area moved over it) becomes visible.

Song of Feast Cleansing: With this song a princess purifies and cleanses food and drink, preparing it for the feast. When a princess sings this song for at least 1 minute it acts as a Purify Food and Water spell on all food and drink within a 5-ft radius of the princess, this radius is increased by 5-ft per 2 princess levels beyond 2nd she possesses. Only food and drink present within this area for the entire period of the song is affected.

Song of Mending: With this song a princess stirs some spark of energy within a damaged object, blowing new life into it till it stands refurbished and whole. This functions as a mending spell except that it may target a number of objects within 30-ft equal to the princesses class level. A princess may target a single object as if with Make Whole instead of 8 smaller objects, or may target a single construct in which case it heals hit points equal to the princess’s class level. Beginning at 11th level a princess may repair warping to objects in addition to rips, tears, and the like. A princess must sing for one whole minute for this song’s effects to take effect.

Song of Stamina: While you play this song all creatures within 60-ft which can hear it may run, hustle, or perform other exhausting activities without tiring (such as walking long distances). In effect rounds spent performing these actions while listening to this song are not counted against the limit of how long they may do so (if you played this song for 8 hours while walking you could walk another 8 hours without making checks against forced marches).

Stir the Inanimate Heart: When a princess sings this song for 3 rounds she may attempt to disable devices, open locks, or deactivate traps as if she were a Rogue of her level.

Stir Wonder: When a princess sings this song it duplicates the effect of a Rod of Wonder. Any effect which deals damage directly deals nonlethal damage, and both the fireball and lightning bolt abilities deal 1d6 damage per Princess level instead of 6d6. A princess must be non-Lawful to sing this song. Effects created by this song are considered spell-like abilities once in effect with a caster level of the princess's class level (using this to determine any duration which would be based on the rod's caster level), and may be dispelled as such but ignore spell resistance .


Barrier Song: While a princess sings this song no evil may approach within 30-ft of her. Any evil creature which moves into this area of its own volition suffers a -2 penalty to attack rolls, ability checks, saving throws, and AC while within the area, and evil Undead and Evil Outsiders may not enter it of their own volition at all. A creature which is forced into the area, or already in the area when the song begins is unaffected as long as it remains within the area. A princess may sing this song for up to 1 minute/class level, and it costs 2 uses of her Mystical Songs.

Beastcaller Song, Greater: This functions as the Summon Animals spell, except the Princess adds her Charisma modifier to the HD maximum of animals summoned, and they stick around for a minute per level. This song costs two uses of a princess’s mystical songs.

Blessing Song: When you sing this song everywhere within 20-ft of you becomes consecrated as if through the consecrate spell, and remain so for 1 hour per Princess level. If you move while singing this song the consecration spreads with you, but previous areas remain consecrated. You may maintain this song for 1 minute per 2 princess levels. This song uses only 1 use of your mystical songs.

Flowers Singing Back: While singing this song the princess may speak to plants as if under the effects of a speak with plants spell, her words are woven into the lyrics of the song itself. This song uses only 1 use of the princess’s mystical songs.

Heal the Wounded Heart: When a princess sings this song each creature within 30-ft of her heals 1 point of ability damage and 5 points of hit points damage per round that she sings. A princess may sing this song for up to 1 round per 2 princess levels. This song costs two uses of a princess’s mystical songs.

Hymn against Death: Initiating this song is an immediate action. One target within 30-ft cannot die as long as they remain within this area. If they would die they are instead knocked out for 3 rounds (if an instantaneous effect such as Finger of Death) or until they would no longer be dead (if a continuous effect such as hit point damage, Constitution damage, or negative levels). Singing this song costs 2 uses of a princess’s mystical songs, but she may maintain it indefinitely.

Liberating Song: When a princess sings this song she may choose a number of creatures equal to 1 + ½ her Charisma modifier. These creatures gain the benefits of a Freedom of Movement spell for as long as she sings and they remain able to hear her sing and 5 rounds thereafter. A princess may maintain this song for 1 minute per class level and it costs 2 uses of her mystical songs.

Planar Upwelling: When a princess sings this song she may change the Alignment trait of whatever plane she is upon out to 60-ft of her. Regardless of its previous alignment the area within range loses any Evil Alignment trait and gains the Minor Good Aligned trait; if she has the Beauty Untouched by Hell ability it instead gains the Major Good Aligned trait. A princess may continue this song indefinitely and it uses only 1 use of her Mystical Song.

Song Heard Afar: When a princess sings this song for 1 minute she may send a message as if with the whispering wind spell (with a caster level of her class level). This song uses only 1 use of the princess’s mystical songs.

Song of Banishment: When a princess sings this song all extraplanar evil outsiders within 30-ft must make a Wisdom save or be banished back to a random location on their native plane; a princess may only banish her class level in Hit Dice of outsiders with a single use of this ability, and the weakest outsiders are banished first. This song also functions as Turn Undead by a cleric of a level two higher than the princess’s level against all undead within range; any outsiders affected count against the abilities turning damage and any undead turned count as the hit dice which may be banished. This ability costs 2 uses of the princess’s mystical songs.

Song of Calming: When a princess sings this song it acts as a Calm Emotions spell on all creatures which can hear it. A princess may sing this song indefinitely. This song uses only 1 daily use of the princess's mystical songs.

Song of Crafting: When a princess sings this song it seems to speed her ability to craft and create. This functions as a fabricate except that all goods to be affected must be within 5-ft of the princess at some point during the song and it can only affect 50 cubic feet of goods, or 5 cubic feet of minerals. Using this song requires 1 minute per 10 cubic feet (or 1 cubic feet of minerals) to be affected. This takes 2 daily uses of the princess’s mystical songs.

Song to Stir the Blackest Heart: When a princess sings this pleading song it stirs even the smallest sparks of good in a creature’s heart. One creature within 30-ft which can hear the princess’s song must make a Wisdom save or their alignment temporarily becomes Good (retaining their Lawful/Chaotic aspect) for a number of minutes equal to the rounds this song was sung. The subject retains whatever outlooks, allegiances, and relationships it had previously as long as they do not conflict with its new alignment. Otherwise, they act with their new selfless, merciful, and kind outlook in all manners. A creature affected by this does not immediately fall under the effects of princess class features which set initial attitude towards the princess, and is unlikely to immediately betray its old companions, but is likely to try and find a peaceful solution to problems. This is a mind-affecting compulsion effect, and Evil Outsiders gain a +4 bonus to saves against it. No creature may be affected by this song more than once per day, and on a successful saving throw they gain immunity to that princess’s song to stir the blackest heart for 24 hours. A princess may only sing this song for 1 round/class level after which time she must stop and singing this song costs 3 daily uses of her Mystical Songs ability.

Song of the Wilds: By singing this song for 10 minutes a princess gains the benefits of a Commune with Nature spell. This costs 3 daily uses of her Mystical Songs ability.


Anchoring Song: This song blocks off the area within 30-ft of the princess from extraplanar travel. This functions as a Dimensional Lock within the area. A princess may maintain this song indefinitely, and using this song takes 3 uses of a princess’s mystical songs ability.

Animating Melody: This song brings life to the lifeless, animating the objects surrounding the princess controlling them with its tune. While a princess sings this song one or more objects within 30-ft of the princess spring to life as if with the Animate Objects spell with a caster level of her princess level except that objects animated with this song deal nonlethal damage suffering no penalty to hit to do so unless they are objects designed as weapons. Objects animated in this way may remain animated if they go out of this range as long as they are within a range that the song can be heard . All objects lose animation should the princess stop singing this song and a princess may only sing this song for 1 round per class level. Using this song takes 3 uses of a princess's Mystical Songs ability.

Chorus of the Winds: When a princess sings this song she can control the weather in the surrounding area. For every round they sing they can control the weather for the next 6 minutes (1 hour/minute), as if with a Control Weather spell. It takes only 10 minutes for this control to be established, and the princess may maintain this song for 2 minutes per Princess level. This control extends in a 3 mile radius centered on the position the princess began the song. Using this song takes 3 uses of a princess’s Mystical Songs ability.

Deathwarding Song: This song wards the princess and her allies from black magic. While the princess sings, and for 1 minute thereafter, the princess and all allies within 30-ft of her gain the benefits of a Death Ward spell. Using this song takes 4 uses of a princess’s Mystical Songs ability

Greater Barrier Song: While a princess sings this song no evil may approach within 30-ft of her. Evil creatures cannot enter into this area of their own volition. An evil creature which is forced into the area, or already in the area when the song begins suffers a -2 to ability checks, AC, attack rolls, saving throws, and skill checks as long as it remains within the area. A princess may sing this song for up to 1 round/class level, and it costs 4 uses of her Mystical Songs.

Greater Healing Song: When a princess sings this song she heals one creature within 30-ft as if she had cast a Heal spell upon it (caster level = class level). This costs 3 uses of her Mystical Songs.

Harmony of Altered Time: This song alters the course of time for creatures within its dictates. When a princess sings this song she may grant any number of creatures within 60-ft the benefits of the Haste spell, and may inflict on any number of creatures the disadvantages of a Slow spell. Creatures which are hasted by this spell have each round spent hasted this way count as 2 rounds for the purposes of effect durations, and creatures which are slowed by this spell have each round spent slowed count as only half a round. A princess may move while singing this song, and the effects apply to new creatures which enter the area due to this movement or their own, and its effects last for as long as the princess continues singing, up to 1 round per class level (this is unaffected by whether the princess is hasted or slowed), even if the creature leaves the area and for 3 rounds thereafter (these rounds are affected by their haste or slow status ending up as 2 or 6 rounds). A creature is allowed a Wisdom save to negate this effect. This uses 4 daily uses of the Princess's Mystical Songs.

Hymn of Hallowed Halls: When a princess sings this song evil creatures within 40-ft of her that can hear her immediately take 1d6 non-lethal damage per princess she possesses and are blinded for as long as they remain within its range; a Wisdom saves halves this damage and prevents this blindness. No creature receives damage this way more than once no matter how long they remain within the area of the song, though if a new creature enters this area they may receive this damage. Against evil outsiders and undead this song deals lethal damage, and extraplanar creatures of those types which fail their Wisdom save are also banished to a random location on their home plane; this initial damage, and banishment remains a one time effect. Such creatures that begin their turn within the area of this song also take damage equal to your princess level each round. A princess may only sustain this song for 1 round per princess level. Using this song takes 4 uses of a princess’s Mystical Songs ability.

Hymn of Heavenly Passage: The heavenly tones of this hymn blends the boundaries between worlds. If a princess sings this song at the end of three rounds singing it she may send any number of creatures, including herself, within 60-ft to another plane. Each creature is allowed a Wisdom save against this effect and the princess may only send creatures to Arcadia, Ysgard, a Good aligned plane, or her native plane, and all creatures are sent to the same location (position relative to each other) on the same target plane. A princess may choose a specific location on the plane to travel too, but the song is not wholly accurate, as creatures arriving 5d100-5 miles away from the intended location. This uses 4 daily uses of the Princess's Mystical Songs.

Hymn of Shielding: When a princess sings this song it creates a shielding force around allies within 60-ft. They each gain a deflection bonus to AC equal to your Charisma modifier for as long as you sing and they remain within range and for 1 minute thereafter. A princess may sing this song for up to 10 minutes per class level, and it costs 3 daily uses of the princess's mystical songs.

Lullaby of Peace: When a princess sings this song a one or more target creatures within 60-ft, with total hit dice no greater than twice the princess’s class level and no individual with hit dice greater than the princess’s class level, which can hear her must make a Wisdom save or fall asleep for as long as the princess sings and 1 round thereafter per round she sang (to a maximum of 2 additional rounds/princess level). Animals count as 1 hit die each for this ability regardless of actual hit dice unless it is lower, and magical beasts and dragons are considered to have 4 fewer hit dice (to a minimum of 1) against this effect. Killing a creature put to sleep by this effect, or allowing it to be killed by your allies, is considered to be knowingly allowing the same to be done to a good creature regardless of the target’s alignment. This ability costs 3 daily uses of the princess’s mystical songs and is a mind-affecting, sleep effect, but may affect dragons despite their immunity to sleep effects.


Choir of the Heavenly Host: By singing this song a princess calls celestial forces to her aid. When a princess sings this song she summons a number of good-aligned outsiders equal to her level plus her Charisma modifier to come to her aid, as if by the Summon Planar Ally spell. These celestials appear on the round following the princess beginning this song and remain for as long as the princess sings. A princess may maintain this song for 1 minute per 3 princess levels.

Melody of Beast Summoning: This song summons the wilderness to the princess's aid. When a princess sings this song she casts Summon Magical Beasts and Fey, save that she can add her Charisma modifier to the HD maximum of summoned creatures, she can summon a mix of Magical Beasts and Fey without restricting herself to either, and they will stick around for the entire performance as well as one minute after. A princess may maintain this song for up to 2 minutes per princess level. Creatures summoned with this effect can understand the princess's song as if she were talking to them.

Quaking Song: A last resort for a princess capable of it, the quaking song is a song which creates a widespread and indiscriminate offense. When a princess sings this song it functions as an Earthquake spell within 40-ft, 80-ft, or 120-ft of her for as long as she sings it. A princess may sing this song for up to 3 rounds, but it requires a standard action each round to maintain it.

Reviving Song: A princess may sing this song to revive the dead themselves. When a princess sings this song, one creature of her choice which died within the last minute is revived as if by True Resurrection.

Song of Peaceful Slumber: When a princess sings this song all enemies within 100-ft which can hear must make a Wisdom save or fall asleep. These creatures remain asleep for as long as they can hear the song and 1 round thereafter per round they heard it. If the princess moves while singing this song it is possible to bring other creatures into its effect. Killing a creature put to sleep by this effect, or allowing it to be killed by your allies, is considered to be knowingly allowing the same to be done to a good creature regardless of the target’s alignment. This is a mind-affecting, sleep effect, and may affect dragons despite their normal immunity to sleep effects. A princess may only maintain this song for 1 minute per 3 class levels.

Song of Time: When a princess sings this song she undoes all events since the beginning of her last turn. Creatures able to perceive the song retain their memories of events, but otherwise the events are completely erased. The only effect retained from the round before is the expenditure of this ability.

Spell Absorbing Song: The hallowed tunes of this song work to draw in magic, pulling it into you even as it serves to protect those you care for from hostile magic. While a princess sings this song enemies within 60-ft have a 30% chance of losing any spell they attempt to cast or use as a spell-like ability (or powers they attempt to manifest) with no effect, in addition allies within 60-ft gain Spell Absorption. This Spell Absorption functions as Spell Resistance equal to 12 plus your Princess level, but is unaffected by anything that would lower Spell Resistance. If Spell Absorption prevents a spell for one creature the spell is countered completely, and if a creature possesses Spell Resistance and Spell Absorption both are rolled separately. Whenever this song prevents a spell from being cast, or a creature's Spell Absorption counters a spell, you regain one use of your Mystical Songs for the day. A princess may only maintain this song for a number of rounds equal to their Charisma modifier.

True Song of Healing: When a princess sings this song those nearby her heal. Any ally within 30-ft of the princess is healed as if by the Mass Heal spell. The princess may maintain this song for 1 round per class level, but creatures only receive the benefits of the Mass Heal effect once each (per use of this ability), creatures which have already received it heal 10 hit points each round they are within the effect.