Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

A Fairy Godmother is an interesting trope; it's barely been used in fairy tales at all, and yet we all think of them as ubiquitous to the point of parodying them mercilessly, even though the parodies far outweigh the serious portrayals. In fact, the concept was made as part of a satirical "Mother" class in Dragon Magazine #238.

But I like the trope unironically and like all things pink, sparkly, sugar-sweet, and cute. So I'm going to literally take a joke too far and run with it.

In case you somehow don't know this archetype, the Fairy Godmother is a fairy (or magician) with magical powers that acts as a parental figure to a young protagonist, much like a literal godparent. A Fairy Godmother is a creature of good fortune, hope and love, and reward for the innocent and the downtrodden. There do exist, however, Wicked Fairy Godmothers. They spite and harm children, but they still possess a warped sense of nobility or even love under their evil. When they curse and cast calamity, it is to punish the inhospitable, the hard-hearted, and the misbehaving. They stylize their victims as moral lessons to others to keep walking the straight and narrow, even if their lessons are "Don't snub someone from a party or they'll murder your daughter." Manners are important.

Hit Dice, To-Hit, Proficiencies: as Magic-User
Saving Throws: As Halfling
Experience: As Elf
Prime Requisite: Charisma

Spellcasting: Fairy Godmothers cast spells as a Magic-User of their level, with the following differences. They have no need for spellbooks (use 3rd Edition-style Sorcerer rules if you prefer), and all parameters are determined by their Charisma instead of Intelligence. Additionally, if you have access to them, you may learn Witch spells as well as Magic-User ones. If you don't have access to them, allow drawing from Cleric/Bard/Druid spells that don't reference the divine. In any case, Fairy Godmothers cannot learn or use any spells that harm or hex. Wicked Fairy Godmothers, conversely, cannot use spells that help or heal. Additionally, they can craft Magic Items as a Magic-User and Witch of their level.

A Spoonful of Sugar: A Fairy Godmother is someone who cares for children. It's part and parcel of who they are. A Fairy Godmother cannot advance in levels unless they are currently matron to a child. A Fairy Godmother may choose one child (or all children from a single family), and is able to perfectly Scry on them at all times. The spells and abilities of a Fairy Godmother always succeed on their Godchildren, and are doubly effective if the Godmother wishes them to be. Children can include adolescents and particularly innocent and naive young adults. Princesses very commonly have a Fairy Godmother for their entire lives, and a child having multiple Fairy Godmothers is not unheard of. A Fairy Godmother can technically change her Godchild at any point, but unless they're the type who moves from home to home, fixing up broken families and the like, this is just a heartbreaking sort of thing to do.

Knit with the Needles of Fate: When serving as a midwife, the Fairy Godmother miraculously guarantees the good health of a newborn child, sparing them even from stillbirth. In addition, a Fairy Godmother can read the destiny of any infant she delivers or cares for, functioning as if they cast Commune at three times their level, though only in regards to seeing the destiny of the child. After doing this, the Godmother may Bless the child's life. This blessing can be anything, equivalent to making a chosen ability score set to the racial maximum, the use of a 2nd level spell ability 3/day, or some other powerful but subtle effect such as "May they always be kind, and have the means of doing right", or "May they never want for wealth and warmth, in home or heart," or even "May they love everyone and be loved by all in kind." This is a Wish-level ability that permanently alters the nature and destiny of the child.

A Few Of My Favorite Things: A Fairy Godmother of 5th level or higher can produce objects freely, and can be assumed to have any mundane object they desire in a bag or on their person, and can withdraw them with comical disregard of spatial dimensions. These objects are magical creations, and as such do not have any genuine monetary value. Not even fake coinage can be produced, as the objects are very fine and very authentic, but simply are aesthetically pure expressions of utility or decorum. These objects cannot be sold, either, and may only be freely given. However, you can only give gives to each person once a year, else the previous object will be destroyed by karmic happenstance. At least one Fairy Godfather makes a point of giving gifts to everyone, everywhere, every year...

Additionally, a Fairy Godmother can produce a Magic Item with this ability with more restrictions. They can only produce a single Magic Item, period. Any second item immediately destroys the first, and consumables cannot be produced. The Fairy Godmother does not need to meet the item crafting requirements for the item she conjures, however, she may not benefit from it. This Magic Item must be immediately gifted to one of their Godchildren. The Godchild can keep it if they lose their status, but they must be their Godchild at the time of receiving the gift.

Bibbidi Babbidi Boo!: A Fairy Godmother of 10th level or higher is no longer merely what they were. If they were a mortal practitioner, they have ascended into being as a fey. If they were a genuine fairy, they have gained a true soul through having loved and been loved by children. From now on, the Fairy Godmother counts as either humanoid or fey entirely situationally, when it would be beneficial. She no longer suffer the drawbacks of either type of being. She no longer ages, and if she looked old already, she has aged beautifully, gracefully. She will live endlessly, her body never tiring as a mortal's as long as her life is filled with the very stuff of youth. If she did not have them already, she also gains the following powers: Fly, Teleport Without Error, Enlarge/Reduce, Haste, Prestidigitation, and Invisibility, all at-will as the spells.
Finally, the Fairy Godmother receives a special magic wand that can substitute all material components of her magic, and her singing can substitute any somatic and verbal components. This wand, additionally, is a Wand of Polymorph Anything Into Any Other Thing, with unlimited charges, which functions only for her. The Polymorphing always has a temporary duration (Such as, until the clock strikes midnight), and can't be used on unwilling creatures whatsoever. Changed creatures do not receive the combat abilities of their new form either. Sorry, your spellcasting rules still apply.

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes: A Fairy Godmother of 15th level or higher is now a Big Deal. You can now grant bonafide wishes to your Godchildren. Every Godchild you ever have can have the benefit of Limited Wish three times in their lives, or one true Wish, or seven Minor Wishes (Like Limited Wish except it only goes up to 4th level spells). You control the intent of the wish, but you must abide by the Godchild's wording. They cannot do harm to others or produce mind-control effects, you cannot coerce the wish in any way, shape, or form, and every wish must have some sort of moral lesson built into them unless they are pure, unselfish, or are their dearly earned reward for a lifetime of hardship. By moral lesson, one does not mean the wish should punish the child, but that realizing the full benefit should require the Godchild learn something good from the experience, so as to grow character.

Anything Can Happen: A Fairy Godmother of 20th level can be mistaken for a god. She can speak with all things, freely speaking with the dead, all animals, plants, stones, wind and rivers. She can speak with inanimate objects, the sun and moon and stars, and they will all do her favors for kindnesses done in turn. Aside from this already amazing ability, a Fairy Godmother can borrow magic from the world around her. Once a day, a Fairy Godmother can drain spells in effect, or the charges of magic items, around her, and cast a spell without expending her own spell slots. The spell drains charges equal to its own spell level. For example, a Fairy Godmother could cast a 7th level spell by dispelling a 3rd level spell on an ally, disenchanting a 2nd level potion, and draining two charges out of a staff. At some specified time, such as the stroke of midnight or the rising of the sun, the borrowed charges restore to their original places, even if it means restarting a dispelled spell effect, which would pick up its duration where it left off. An unexpected quirk of this ability is it always leaves a physical trace of the spell it was used to cast, such as a glass slipper...

Code of Conduct: Like a Paladin, there's certain rules for how a Fairy Godmother must behave, if she wishes to be practically perfect in every way. Unlike a paladin, she won't lose her abilities if she merely falls short of this sometimes; there's always room for improvement, after all. Only a rejection of the values below will cause one to become Wicked:
*Must have a cheery disposition
*Rosy cheeks, no warts
*Play games, all sorts
*Must be kind and witty
*Must be very sweet and fairly pretty
*Take your godchildren on outings and give them treats.
*Sing songs, bring sweets
*Never be cross or cruel
*Never give children castor oil or gruel
*Love your godchildren like a son or daughter
*Never smell of barley water
*Don't scold and dominate, too
*Never give your godchild cause to hate you

SIDEBAR: Princesses and Fairy Godmothers
The innocence of a Princess and the motherly love of a Fairy Godmother have more in common than one would think, even bearing in mind that the two always find themselves hand in hand in destiny's road. In the chance that a Princess reaches adulthood and loses their innocence, but does not lose their incorruptible, saintly purity of heart, they may trade their levels in the Princess class to immediately become an equivalent Fairy Godmother. There are some benefits to this; a Fairy Godmother that is a former Princess retains her Healing Affections, Too Fair to Kill, Friend to Nature, and Mystical/Miraculous Song abilities, though these no longer advance with their new level progression.

SIDEBAR: Wicked Fairy Godmothers
A Fairy Godmother that does not love children for who they are but only what they could be, or who sees children as a means to a moral point unto themselves. They are those who are monsters who prey on children so that those beyond their reach can be better for the fearful lesson. They function as a Fairy Godmother, save for the following exceptions: Firstly, they have no Code of Conduct, and can be right awful nannies and wicked old witches. Secondly, their spellcasting cannot include spells that help and heal.

Spoonful of Sugar is replaced by Brimstone and Treacle, which otherwise functions the same, but offers Godchildren no saving throw on hexes, harms, and curses set upon them, unless the child is a Princess.

Knit with the Needles of Fate becomes By the Prick of a Finger, which functions identically save that a child they midwife for will always have some sort of feytouched handicap or deformity. Additionally, instead of blessing the child, they may curse them. This can even go upwards as to curse a child to die in a certain way. These curses are Wish-level tragedies.

A Few Of My Favorite Things becomes Poor Unfortunate Souls. The limit on the gifts they produce is removed, but now they are Deals. A Deal requires the subject to trade something to you, such as their soul, their voice, their most prized possession, or whatever fey bargain you can manage. The deal must hurt. No "I'll give you this Staff of the Archmagi in exchange for your toenail clippings" bullshit.

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes becomes Friends on the Other Side. Your wishing ability functions like Poor Unfortunate Souls, trading wishes for painful deals. However, there is no limit on how many wishes you can grant, so long as someone is stupid enough to pay.

Anything Can Happen is replaced by Maleficence. Should you ever be brought to 0 HP, you can permanently sacrifice anything to become a horrifying dragon and everything that entails, forever becoming a terrible creature of unfathomable darkness and arcane might.

"Once Upon A Time..."

So guess what it's time to have a crossover post with TLN's Royalverse, which is now the Royal Verse. The distinction means something.

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There's lots of ways this post can begin. First, however, let us say you are familiar with TLN's Kings. If you aren't, come back when you have. ...Good.

The only way a post like this can start, for reasons that will become evident, is with a fairy tale.

Once Upon a Time, there lived a Little Girl, and her Father. The Little Girl was, in truth, neither little nor a girl, and her Father was neither a Father, nor a man. But between themselves, that is what they felt and what they knew, respectively. For once there was only the Father, and then there was the Little Girl. And the Little Girl declared that he was her Father and she was his Daughter and he agreed, having no reason to say otherwise.

They were always happy, and yet it was neither 'happy' nor 'always'. They did not suffer, they were not sad. And they had something we would consider love for each other, but time was so runny back in those days, before someone collected all the sands and laid them in a line forever, and the Daughter found that she was restless, and endlessly unsatisfied with the Nothing that surrounded them.

"Father, I would like you to make me Something," said the Daughter, to which he replied:
"Certainly, my Daughter, but first you would have to tell me what Something is." For while the Father was very capable, in fact capable of everything, he was not very creative. He saw the world as it was and wasn't, and not for it could be or might be. He could calculate anything, realize anything, invent anything, but he could not conceptualize or dream.

And the Daughter dreamed without limit, without restraint. So she told him exactly what Something was, as opposed to Nothing. And so there was Something. "Now, we just have to make more things! Father, could you make lots of colors?" And she described the various hues and shades and pastels she desired.

To create those colors his Daughter wished for, the Father realized, he would need to invent light. He would have to calculate wavelengths and photons and refraction and relativity. He tirelessly did all these things, to create the phenomena and processes that would give the world color. He did this as if it were as natural as breathing. As if it were his calling. In truth, he never had urge to do anything before his Daughter, but he took to this work with all his being. He took to this like it was his purpose. He took to this like he cherished his Daughter's smile. These were as true as anything could be said to be, which is not really much at all, but to him it was as true as anything he knew, and as true as anything he made, so to us, we would call it a deep Truth.

And so it was that every time the Father realized a wish of his Daughter's, she made him a Crown, and sat it upon his head, cheerfully declaring him the King of Light, the King of Colors, the King of Something, the King of Water, Air, Oxygen, Potassium, Life, Death, Sky, Plastic, Pink, Shrimp, Chocolate, Picture Books, Cough Medicine, Moth Holes in the Blanket, Bandaids and Boo-Boos, Salmonella, Broccoli, Coins, Counterfeit Coins, Magic, Sandwiches, Spiders!

The Daughter-Princess imagined everything, and the Father-King created them all, taking her Inspiration, her Wonder, her Meaning and pounding and forging it into solid Reality, the spirit of her intent manifest in the properties and processes of his Law.

Things were good, and they were happy. Or rather, the Princess was happy, and the Father was pleased that she was happy. Her bright passions were things he did not understand, and he knew his own only by looking for their shadow in the light of her own. She loved him, and if he felt anything for anything, he felt that she was the jewel of his life, the purpose of his work. Everything he had ever done, he had done for her, and giving her what she asked was his only desire, and so he never questioned the wisdom of her ideas. He had no faculty to deign something better, save for better ways to see them through.

And so it was that Time passed, for in truth Time was one of the last things the Princess requested. It was the last thing the King designed. When Time began, and all they created started to turn and live and die and breathe and change and melt and freeze and go and move and turn, she delighted, and he heaved in contentment, and she placed one more Crown on his head.

And the cruelty of Time is that causes have effects, and these can never turn back.

The One King was crushed under the weight of his One Crown, and he died. The Crown's fragments scattered and there was a King for every Thing, and the world was full.

This fullness came at the expense of the Daughter-Princess's. With no Father-King, she was neither a Daughter, nor a Princess. Everything she ever dreamed, she dreamed for him. Creating beauty for him to realize was her only desire, and she had never questioned the wisdom of her ideas. She had no patience to deign something better, save for brighter passion to see them through.

The Mourning Girl retreated from the world for a long... long time. A long, long, long, long time.

A very, very, long time.

For all that time, the world was incomplete, for the Daughter and her Father had never truly finished their work. And the world remains incomplete to this day, and yet...

And yet...

Eventually there were people. People were in the Plans, and they were Planned to come about at one point or another. The process to produce then had been designed, after all. But when People happened, they had a little spark of the Daughter-Princess. Her Wonder. Her Inspiration. Her Meaning and her Passion. That Something she had which was more than the mattter and the mud and the process and the plans and the solids and the stuff.

There are Kings, and they are not Gods, but they rule as such over the Things in the World, turning the gears of the engine. But that's only one half of the World. There is another, the Royals are the Royals, but there are those who sing the Verse.

There are those who tell Stories, they who perform for the Goddess who weeps for her father.

Without him, how can she finish the world?

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More at a later date, in a separate post. The world is unfinished, and so is this tale.