Vayra Asks

Vayra asked some questions. Let's go.  

 

1) What class knows the most martial arts? Are they real martial arts like kung fu, or made up ones like krav maga?

 

Any sort of Monk-ish type class can learn Martial Arts, as well as fighters that feel like it. They'll be generally realistic, unless the class is specifically attuned to Wuxia tropes. Sufficient spiritual attunement (either having a sufficiently high WIS score, taking levels in a class keyed to those concepts, or having earned such spiritual awakening through play) can give access to supernal martial arts. Stuff an Exalted character would pull off. Kill Six Billion Demons, yo.

2) Can I start out having already made a deal with the devil or do I have to do that in game?

 

Both are possible. 

3) Do you want me to write an 8-page backstory? Can I write an 8-page backstory, if I want to? If I write something down in it like I'm the timelost princess of the brass city and the daughter of the sun and I commanded legions in the Hell War but was betrayed by my father's vizier but I don't know that, or that I'm elf conan and cooler than everyone else, will that be true?

 

I don't need big backstories, but fucking go for it. If you write an outrageous backstory that doesn't entirely ruin what the other players are trying to do, I'll allow it. I very often do not create my settings until I have the PCs. 

4) If I eat someone's heart, will I gain their powers? What about their brain?

 

Generally, no. This is often a psychic ability or magical ritual that can be performed. However, eating the heart or brain of an inherently magical creature will do weird things to anybody.

5) These classes are boring, can I be one from somewhere else? What about from a different system entirely?

 

Abso-fucking-lutely. 

6) If I make a sword, which one of us gets to name it?

 

You, obviously. 

7) Am I allowed to kill the other player characters? What would I have to do to be allowed to? Do I win if I kill them all? Actually, how do I win in general?

 

As a general rule I prefer PCs to cooperate and work together. I don't mind PVP as long as a meaningful justification comes up, like "Hey, Brad literally murdered my love interest, I demand reparation." As for "winning", that's accomplished by retiring your character in whichever way satisfies you.

8) What language stands in for 'Common'? Or what are we all talking to each other in? Like the party, mostly, but also everyone else?

 

Common works. Who cares, honestly? 

9) How do I learn how to talk to rocks? No not once a day just, like, normally?

Be nice to them. Original Sin does not exist in my setting, and so all newborn babies can hear and understand all voices of the stones, the wind and rain, the animals and the trees, the stars and the void between them...

We lose this power as we develop our egos and establish that we are ourselves, and not the rest of the universe around us. We stop hearing the voices, when we forget them. But every once in a while, a sufficiently pure heart never forgets. And the silent sounds of the world are always happy to talk to you again if you remember.

The hearts of people that shoo out bugs instead of crushing them, and those who sing to their gardens, and those who gently return borrowed stones instead of skipping them into rivers... these hearts eventually hear words of thanks. And then hear more.

10) Which kinds of wizards get to serve kings and live in towers and shit and which ones are run out of town or stoned to death in the streets? Can I be both? At the same time?

 

People generally have a pretty low opinion of wizards, sorcerers, warlocks, witches, all that shit, for causing trouble. Some towns might have tolerated witches or magic-users who don't summon Cthulhus in their basements and use their powers to bring good weather or bless babies or whatever. It is generally these cunningfolk who get approached by kings and such to ask for their services, if they find out about them, or you can be like a wizard who totally saved the king's life or healed his daughter or something, and he offers you a boon, and you ask for a sweet gig in his court or a tower or something. There is, technically, nothing keeping you from being both. I'm sure many a wizard has plagued the child-prince of the lands and then shown up with the miracle cure.

Magical Girls are generally always tolerated by everybody. They're easily identifiable when they're doing their magic, can hide their identities easier than everyone else, and their powers tend to be geared towards helping people. Entire nations have forms of government where their ruling queens are Magical Girls who passed a compassion test.

GLOG: Magical Girl

Magical Girls.  Pretty Guardians of Love and Justice. The term 'Guardian' is important as, while many Magical Girls are capable warriors, they are not soldiers. They are not, by nature, murderhobos. They are protectors of what's important to them. Fundamentally they are innocents who weaponize their femininity, cuteness, hope, and ideals to fight evil. Now, there are exceptions. Not all Magical Girls are girls. Not all of them are cute or feminine. But a Magical Girl is defined by fighting with their emotions, and of being sensitive to them. There are 'evil' or 'dark' Magical Girls, but they are often the products of hurt and trauma, cynics produced by broken and betrayed idealism. The 'evil' Magical Girl is, generally, a former idealist who now fights to protect themselves from harm and hurt others before they can hurt them. A Dark Magical Girl generally would love nothing more than to be like their brighter counterparts; they just believe it to be foolish or impossible.

For the sake of the below, I will use female-centric, heteronormative pronouns, but please adjust accordingly! Many Magical Girl protagonists are male, even moreso are homosexual, and even a few of them are gender-nonconforming or outright transgender.

In the context of the GLOG, I imagine Magical Girls as expressing magic through the power of their own soul. Their own sense of self, and their connections to other people. Their spells are not spirits they bound in their own mindscapes, or mutations from an otherworldly bloodline (maybe), or even necessarily the product of faustian pacts and contracts. These MIGHT be the case, but at the end of the day all Magical Girls draw their power from this inner wellspring of spirit, hopes, dreams, and feelings. The crowning of the Magical Girl is simply the event that uncorks this bottle.

Skills (1d3): Singing, Acrobatics, Cooking

Starting items: Transformation Trinket, plus 1d4 mundane items of their choice that aren't weapons and armor.

A: +1 MD, Transformation, Element, Cantrips, Spellcasting, Familiar
B: +1 MD, Transformation MAKE UP!
C: +1 MD, Friendship is Magic! (d6)
D: +1 MD, Friendship is Magic (d8), Miracle

TRANSFORMATION: A Magical Girl is one who transforms; they draw power from their ideal self and mantle it into reality. This change can be as indepth as you wish, but once determined, is set. Perhaps they only change their costume; perhaps their hair, race, gender, or even age is different! (Though bear in mind if you try to be sneaky and give them wings and other special appendages they'll be non-functionally ornamental by default).

A Magical Girl is the ideal self, not the true self, and so a Transformed Identity has a separate True Name, with all that implies for True Name magical fuckery. Most relevantly, even if your face is uncovered and entirely identical to your normal form, no one can recognize your Normal Self as your Transformed Self, or vice versa, unless they see you specifically transform. Mirrors that catch your transforming image shatter; recording devices malfunction; scrying magic fails. Only the naked eye can bypass the glamour of a switched Name and a Transformed Self.

The benefits of being Transformed are, obviously, you can cast your spells and use your other class features (unless they're cantrips or otherwise labeled as usable by your Normal form), and you add your number of Templates to all rolls regarding STR, DEX, CON, and CHA, as well as to attack rolls, saving throws, and AC. Transforming is at-will, and instantaneous, but comes with a critical caveat...

If anyone DOES witness you transform, you've done more than compromise your identity; the undermining of your Ideal Self means that even when transformed, you gain no benefits having done so; your physical capabilities are unmodified, and your power doesn't come to you, and you can't transform back to normal for a number of hours equal to your Templates. You can have exceptions to this; people on your approved list of secret-keepers. People you trust to know your secret, and your innermost self. The amount of people who can know your secret without triggering your drawback is equal to (CHA-10)+Templates, minimum 0. Hell yeah social inventory. Anyone who witnesses your transformation without being “Approved” has their memory magically wiped, keeping them from connecting the dots; the exception is supernatural beings and magic-users who have more templates than you.

There's technically no limit on how many times you can transform and how long you can be transformed, however, since no one can recognize you as your normal self while transformed, and limited resources like MD can only recharge when you're not transformed, AND you automatically de-transform if you run out of MD, well. I recommend only being transformed when it's advantageous.

Of final note is the Transformation Trinket, an entirely innocuous item like a brooch, ring, pen, or simple toy. When the Magical Girl is transformed, the trinket becomes a weapon of their choice, decided at character creation, and they possess proficiency with this weapon. Ranged weapons magically have infinite ammo.
Transforming without this trinket is possible, but subtracts a Magic Die from the pool (meaning this is effectively impossible at first level). If the trinket is lost or destroyed, a Magical Girl can craft a new one for 100 standard-coin per template.

FAMILIAR: Typically, a Magical Girl realizes her destiny through being informed (or making a pact with) a magical creature; or perhaps they find a magical item and attune to it, or maybe they just had a strange dream or stressful situation awaken the power within them all along. Choose between (or roll 1d4) these options:
1) You have a cute stuffed animal-esque familiar companion. They can talk and move on their own, and have no combat ability or innate magical powers aside from maybe being able to fly around or something, but they Know Stuff. They effectively know whatever the GM needs them to, and are roleplayed by them. Every once in a while they'll share something their partner couldn't have otherwise known, even if they're not always forthcoming. They never outright lie, at the very least.
2) The Transformation Trinket is intelligent, and may or may not be able to talk (choose or flip a coin). Either way it can teleport back to its owner if they ever lose it, and regenerate from destruction at some sort of trigger (the next dawn, etc).
3) The Magical Girl has no magical sidekick, but is able to have an extra Friend who can know about their Transformed self.
4) The Magical Girl has no magical sidekick, and leans into their loneliness, gaining an extra MD that they keep only if they have no Friends in on their secret at all, vanishing if they make even one Friend. As long as you have no Friends, you are referred to as a Lonely Magical Girl. This is important for future features.

MAKE UP!: Your innocent dreams are still pure, but have considered compromising with the mundane world. Perhaps your Ideal Self can be more than one thing, and perhaps those things can be more grounded. You are now capable of using your Transformation ability to disguise yourself as anything. This works like Alter Self, cast at 1 MD per Template you possess in this class, with the caveat that all the restrictions of Transformation still apply. Your identity is still protected with the same magical protections. Additionally, the magic of this ability gives you the ability to fake it till you make it. If you became a nurse, for example, you would not magically have any genuine nursing skill, but you'll know enough medical terms to roleplay the part and be able to blend in well enough that no lay person would be able to see through your trick; an actual medical professional would see through it if you're put on the spot, however.

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!: To a Magical Girl, their friends are their power. One a day per Friend, you tap your friendships for a bonus MD that does not return to your pool. There's no upper cap on how many Friendship MD you may add to a single casting, though you invoke this at your own peril. At Template D, your Friendship MD are d8s.

If you're a Lonely Magical Girl, your permanent bonus MD becomes a d8 at Template C, and a d10 at Template D.

MIRACLE!: A fully developed Magical Girl is entitled to a true miracle; a perfect crystallization of her innocence, purity, and sincerity. This is essentially a Wish, granted with total respect to the spirit of the Magical Girl's intent, as it is coming from within their own heart, under their own power.

Whatever they wish for, it cannot merely be for the self, even for the case of a Lonesome Magical Girl. It's a wish for someone else, or for the world, or for a cause they truly believe in. It's a wish towards something with which they feel is worth their entire soul. And whatever they wish for, it must come true, inerringly, undeniably, unstoppably. The world is simply not large enough to oppose their dreams. The miracle is that the World must only suffer this defeat once.

After the Miracle comes to pass, the Magical Girl's story draws to a close, as negotiated by the player and the Referee. Perhaps they simply become a normal girl, and retire in peace. Perhaps they ascend to godhood. Perhaps it's simply that their mundanity is burned away, and they are permanently trapped (or, perhaps, freed to be) in their Transformed Self, and can never return to their old life, devoted to their duty for far longer than a mortal could have hoped to live.

Perhaps their adventure simply continues, and they live as they always have, but they are no longer our concern, their obligation to perform for us resolved now that they have found their answer on who they wish to be.

ELEMENT: A Magical Girl's power is based off a single core thematic concept. This need not be a literal elemental affinity, but is simply the vector in which their soul imposes itself on the world.

Roll 2d20, take lowest:
1. Fire
2. Water
3. Earth
4. Air
5. Plants
6. Metal
7. Thunder
8. Ice
9. Sound
10. Light
11. Darkness
12. Void
13. A single specific object (candy, glass, paper)
14. A single emotional or mental concept (Love, Hope, Imagination)
15. Time
16. Pure Energy/Magic
17. Radiation/Atomic Forces
18. Heaven/Holy things
19. Hell/Unholy things
20. Player's Choice

CANTRIPS: A Magical Girl knows three cantrips.

1. They can sense auras, vibes, and wavelengths that allow them to sense evil, despair, hatred, and general foulness. They only sense supernatural evil, but they can also sense mundane emotional anguish in people around them. This cantrip is always active and cannot be turned off.
2. They can reach out to sense for their Element's presence. The [Water] running near by, or the [Hope] in people's hearts, or whatever.
3. They can perform acts of prestidigitation, making everything look prettier, nicer, and cleaner. They can fix up their clothes and spruce them up in plausibly mundane ways, and most impressively, they can always make it as if they seem to have nary a scratch or smudge on them. This cantrip does not heal woulds or fix damage; it's merely magical make-up. The skin-deep pain might be healed back together but the internal injuries still remain.

SPELLS: A Magical Girl starts knowing four spells, and learns a new one each level. At 4^th level, they learn both their Emblem spells in addition to their normal spell selections. These spells are inherent to a Magical Girl, and cannot be taught or learned. In settings where spells are external things like low-level spirits, Magical Girl spells are the exception; they are pure manifestations of her inner soul's light.

To facilitate this, only the names of their spells are provided. When a Magical Girl tries to cast a spell for the first time, she must give it an actual name, like “Fire Soul Rhapsody” or whatever, and discuss with their Referee on what the spell does. Two Magical Girls of the same element casting the same spell might have entirely different effects adjudicated for them.

And that is entirely the point. The second spell, Embody Self, is essentially a wild card. This can be any effect even if it doesn't conform to your Magical Girl's theme, intended to be a culmination of their unique personal and individual magic regardless of elemental influence. Craft your own spell.

1. Element Blast
2. Create Element
3. Speak With Element
4. Imbue Element
5. Element Barrier
6. Erase Element
7. Elemental Healing
8. Summon Elemental
9. Elemental Wings
10. Control Element

Emblem Spells:
1. Embody Element
2. Embody Self

MISHAPS:

1. MD return to your pool only on 1 or 2 for the rest of the day.
2. Weird Magical Occurrence related to your Element happens. A Space Magical Girl finds all the dungeon doors lead to randomized locations for a while, etc.
3. Roll a Hit Die (or d6 if you don't use HD). Whatever you roll, add this to the spell cast as an extra MD, and subtract the roll from your HP. The spell worked too well. So well it drained you.
4. It might not happen right away, but at the soonest opportunity, you do something devastating and emotionally self-destructive or humiliating. Fight with your best friend, confess to someone you love when you already know they have a girlfriend, etc.
5. Suffer some sort of cute/anime/thematic mutation that isn't very beneficial, like having conspicuously technicolor hair when you need to be stealthy, or turn into a cute animal mascot when you have an appointment to keep. Lasts until the damage is done.
6. Attract a new Monster of the Week that targets a friend, loved one, or personal interest in a way that demands your action. Not just a Random Encounter roll because the thing you care about starts off disadvantaged, compromised, or in a worse state because of it.

DOOMS:

1. A major social connection you depended on is irrevocably changed. A close family member dies, or a friend leaves you forever. If you're a Lonesome Magical Girl, you lose something about yourself you built your identity on, like a talent or skill, a formative memory, or you straight up can no longer derive pleasure or satisfaction from a favorite thing.
2. It's becoming harder to maintain your social life. Literally. From now on, every time you suffer a Mishap, you also repeat the first Doom.
3. From now on, you can only recharge MD while suffused in your Element, and if you have 0 MD left, you become entirely intangible and ignored. Magical beings can see and interact with you, but in the mundane world you are a ghost. This can't be turned to your advantage; you cannot phase through walls and you cannot interact with objects if someone would observe it (meaning, you can use a door if no one would see you do so, but you can't “levitate” a plate). Additionally, every time you Mishap, you require more MD to keep existing. At 1 MD left, you become non-extant. Then at 2 MD left, etc.

When it becomes impossible to maintain your existence through this, you fully vanish, in a way fitting your Elemental affinity. A heavenly Magical Girl might ascend to a higher plane of existence. A Plant Magical Girl might become a flower fairy. Maybe you become a monster embodying your own pain and despair and can only lash out at people, now.

Whatever happens to you, however, all memory of you is fully erased from this world. One person might remember you, if you were the person they loved the most, and they were the person who cherished you more than anyone else ever did. For this one person alone, they can remember you. But they will never be able to experience or perceive you again except in their memory.

If there's a way to bring you back, they're the only person who could even have the mind to do so.

Santicorn 2019: Fairytale Classes

Pseudo Fenton from the Discord (he has no blog, sorry!) requested a smattering of Scandinavian/Nordic fairy tale-themed classes, which I ran away with! I ended up drifting a bit into some Tchaikovsky, but... eh. It happens. Hope you enjoy! There's enough class concepts here to replace an entire D&D party!

 Inchling (Thumbelina/Tom Thumb)
This class uses the Saves, To-Hit, and XP progression of a Rogue, but has a d2 Hit Die.
You are the smallest thing. The size of a thumb, if that. Perhaps not even the size of a bean. You could actually perhaps dance on the head of a pin, which will be ironic later. Because of your small size, you are almost impossible to detect if you're trying to go unnoticed; you have the maximum possible ranks in the Hiding skill for your system, but otherwise suffer all the drawbacks of being so small, with one exception: You... don't suffer fall damage. That's... weird. Perhaps you just safely Feather Fall safely, or your fall is always broken by something cushy. It's very conspicuous, because even in a world that doesn't understand modern Newtonian physics the little thing should still go splat when it falls from up high. But you don't.

Additionally, you can speak to all little things as if they were people. Insects, frogs, birds, and the like all share a language with you, and are inclined to treat you kindly at first blush.

Finally, you have one mundane, non-combat skill that's pushed to supernatural degrees. Perhaps your singing voice can entrance anyone who hears it on a failed save, or perhaps you can spin a piece of straw into solid gold if you spend all night doing so. Decide this with your GM.

At Name Level, you grow a pair of fairy wings, explaining all the mysteries of your existence. If fairies are entitled to any other traits or abilities in your system, you gain them.

Ice Queen (The original story, but also Frozen, lol)
This class uses the saves, To-hit, Hit Dice, and XP progression of a Magic-User.
For some reason or another, you have powerful elemental control over Ice magic.* It's to such an extent that it's a part of you, ignoring environmental effects related to ice, and taking 1 less damage from every die related to it. The cold never bothered you anyway, you might say.

An Ice Queen has a pool of Magic Dice (d6s) equal to their level. Due to the intimate, personally expressive nature of their magic, Charisma is used for any stat-related purposes and they have no spell list, and instead describe effects ala carte, investing as many dice as is proportional to the effect. Simple cantrips like producing snowflakes or little flurries are free, producing an entire block of ice might be a single die, and producing an entire palace made of ice might take nine or ten dice. The dice are rolled when the effect is produced, either determining the damage of the ice attack, or else determining the efficacy or stability of the effect. Dice that roll a six are removed from the pool, and when the Magic Dice pool is exhausted, a Wild Surge occurs. Dice can be recovered by rest (full recovery), or a single die by exposure to your element you didn't produce, such as gorging yourself on snow or bathing in frigid water for an hour.

These effects can be positive or negative, but are mostly negative. Perhaps you produced a snowlem personifying your best qualities, with HD equal to the MD invested in him. Perhaps you accidentally struck someone you cared about them and cursed them to slowly turn into ice. Perhaps you caused an eternal winter, or you turn all the food at the party into delicious ice cream. Perhaps you create a giant mirror of ice that reflects the light of heaven back up toward the sky and only reflects the ugliness of the mortal world which then shatters and lands its shards in the eyes of men so that they only see the bitter, rancid, sinful truth to everything.

You know, whatever.

At Name level, some event occurs that allows you to gain better control of your powers. You discover the Power of Love, or you beat up the Devil who gave them to you, or you realize you're actually the Avatar, the Last Icebender. Either way. your powers adjust; all effects cost one less Magic Die than normal, and when you Wild Surge, you receive a partial veto power, allowing you to reject and replace any detail of the Surge the GM describes with one of your own.

* This class can be adjusted to be about any other elemental or conceptual force. Play a Summer Queen, or a Noise Prince, or a Flower Knight, or a Rubbermancer. Go wild.

Nutcracker Prince (The Nutcracker)
This class uses the Saves, To-Hit, Hit Dice, and XP Progression of the Fighter.
You are a nutcracker, or perhaps a tin soldier, or a puppet boy. In any case, you are a living toy, with all that entails. You need neither food, water, air, nor sleep. You have the power to change to human size, but when in your smaller form, you can choose to remain perfectly still and be totally indistinguishable from a normal object. If someone doesn't know you personally or see you move, they'll never even suspect you're anything but what you appear to be; this even trumps divination magic.

In your fully-sized form, your wooden or metal nature gives you the AC of being appropriately armored, and you have all the fighting capabilities of a Fighter of your level, though you roll Disadvantage on Dexterity and Initiative checks due to your stiff body.

Finally, you have two magical abilities that foreshadow your true nature. Firstly, you can dance in the dreams of others. When people slumber in your presence, you can meld truth into their nightly fiction, and manipulate their dreamscape. You can defend them against nightly intruders, plunder their minds for secrets, or retrieve imaginary treasures from the dungeons of their unconscious. Secondly, you have the power to remove curses by absorbing them into yourself, by performing some appropriate ritual, such as cracking a nut in your mouth and hopping backwards seven steps. If you do this, the curse is lifted from the victim and it now applies to you. This is your true nature.

You weren't always a toy. It was a curse you accepted, and it was your first curse, swallowed too deeply. The only way to remove it is something you can't accept or accomplish; perhaps you need to forgive the person who hurt you so deeply it broke your name and your heart. Perhaps you need the reincarnation of one who spurned you to promise to love you unconditionally. Perhaps you need to crack the world's shell in half.

In any case, at Name Level, you learn of how you can finally accomplish this task, and are capable of actually performing it. Once you do so, your curse is lifted, and you return to your former splendid form. Not only do you become a handsome immortal prince of dreams (or whatever you were), but every curse you absorbed inverts into a blessing, and you now possess the power to grant others a dream come true, pulling a single fantasy of theirs into permanent reality.


Polymorphic Princess (Swan Lake)
This class uses the to-hit, Hit Dice, and XP Progression of a Cleric, but the best saves possible in your game.
You are an unjustly cursed innocent, with a curse so deep it pervades not just your body and soul, but your very story. Your love, your innocence, your purity, your beauty and virtue are all heavier and truer than the world, but this curse uses that weight against you, and shackles you down.
This curse damns you to a form you don't belong in. Perhaps you turn into a swan during the daylight, or an orc during the night, or perhaps you turn into a frog around anyone who would ever know your name. Regardless of the condition, it always forces you back into your unnatural shape whenever it would most hurt you; you can never be yourself around the one you love. You can never return home. Whatever the nature of it, you can't receive the happiness you deserve.

That being said, there's some condition that lets you trigger the transformation deliberately. You turn into a swan whenever you touch water, and change back whenever you are under a tree's shade. You turn into an orc whenever you bleed, and back whenever you taste fruit. You turn into a frog whenever you smell flowers, and back whenever you look in a mirror. You gain all the abilities of your cursed form when you're in it, and can speak with your cursed form's kind in either form. Additionally, you are in many ways a Princess, and your purity did not abandon you.

You may Lay on Hands as a Paladin of your level, and you are extraordinarily lucky, rolling your already amazing saving throws with Advantage unless it is against magic related to your curse, in which case you roll with Disadvantage. However, you are otherwise totally immune to any other curses or hexes; it was a total fluke that the first ever took, and there's no room for a second. You also have a number of Luck Points equal to half your level (rounded down, minimum 1), you can use to reroll any die. These points refresh every session.

At Name level, you meet whichever condition is required to break your curse, and it becomes a boon. You have full control over your transformation; it never works against you, and you do not require any trigger but will or intent. You are now truly immune to all curses for all time, and may cast Remove Curse by kissing a target. Once ever, should you die, you can return to life by the magic of True Love's Kiss, or the tears of everyone around you. Your story's curse was lifted, and you are entitled to your Happily Ever After with the full force of an apologetic, remorseful Fate.

The Rhyme Schemer [Royal Verse]

The second post in my crossover with TLN's Royal Verse. We now delve into the other half of the universe. While the Kings rule Systems, Processes, and Chemistry, the Poets are those who govern Stories, Plots, and Contrivances. They are not the Gods who are Motley Fools; their place in the universe is clear, rational, and necessary, even if the Kings are infuriated by them. The Kings are fragments of the Father-King, pieces of something lost. But the Poets are a new possibility; half-dreamed echoes of a future not yet come to pass. They're what the Daughter-Princess (whom is currently the Mourning Girl, Story-Lover, the Goddess of Games and Gears) once imagined for her and her Father's work. The completed Cosmos given voice and face in discordant democratic.

The Poets do not wear Crowns. While the Rulers of Physics need a physical representation, the Speakers of Rhyme simply have beautiful souls. To claim the mantle of a Poet, one must best their story. Poets, after all, are Tropes.

A King might be anything you can name, but a Poet is anything you can feel. A King can be War, as a process; a Poet is War, as a narrative structure. A King can never be Love, a Poet can never be Uranium.

Such it is that a Rhyme Schemer progressively starts to embody their mantle more and more. If you aim to become Flashbacks, you're not merely striving to become memory or recollection, but the entire narrative concept of replaying the past in the present point of view, even if it produces new details. You are becoming not the phenomena within the story's world, but the picture on the veil of the screen.

So, the Rhyme Schemer class. First of all, your system doesn't really matter. Even more so than usual for my works. For now, structure this as a Cleric-equivalent, minus the spells.

At first level, you lose your Base To-Hit and your Experience Progression. You use milestone/narrative leveling, progressing in this class whenever the table agrees you made a significant stride towards embodying the Poetry you wish to become. You also will not need Base To-hit, as Poets are lovers, not fighters. By which I mean, while Kings are born of the violent tragedy of the Father-King's death, the Poets are answers to the Daughter-Princess's grief. While you are not saint, and you might indirectly cause as much destruction as you wish, you are incapable of attempting to create harm. The Poet of War is not a warrior, but a general; his power is in instigating wars from behind the scenes, not winning them. If a Rhyme-Schemer wishes to accomplish things, it is not by the sword, but the pen. Exploration, the Social game, trickery and cleverness, narration and ingenuity. If for some reason an attack roll is absolutely 100% necessary, explain your theatrical reasoning, and gain a +1 to the roll for everything the Theatregoers accept.
At the same time, you are now gain a pool of Plot Points equal to your level, which replenishes per Scene/Session. These points can be used to reroll any die roll you wish, and take the better result. You may continue to reroll a die as many times as desired, so long as you have the Plot Points to spend.

At second level, you lose your Armor Class. The world has acknowledged that you have stepped off the scene of Duels save for the allegorical, and so you are no longer bound to such a thing. Though you can still be harmed, anything that targets Armor Class will be treated as a miss, save for a natural 20, which will harm you in a dramatically appropriate way.
In exchange, you are now metafictionally aware to a small degree. While you do not yet totally buck the 4th wall, you have a greater understanding of Story. You can always detect when something is important or relevant to the current story structure. No villain can ever disguise themselves as a simple, nameless bar patron. No princess can pretend to be a mere scullery maid. No artifact will be overlooked as a rusted piece of junk.

At third level, you lose your Inventory, and are now able to claim you have anything on your person that makes narrative sense and wouldn't be thematically disruptive. Anything you attempt to pull out of your pockets must be approved by all the Theatregoers who judge your Story (the GM and the other players), nor can you pull anything that would contradict the internal logic of the world or the themes of your own personal Story Trope. The aspiring Poet of Futility probably isn't going to have the miracle cure to AIDS in his bag.

At fourth level, you lose your Race, your Body. You may now take any and every form, as long as you never do so "on-screen", you do not become a specific named individual, and your form is not narratively disruptive. No turning into a Tarrasque unless everyone agrees it's appropriately awesome/fitting.

At fifth level, you lose your History. Your backstory now exists in flux, and is whatever you need at the time. By spending Plot Points, you can retroactively create relationships with NPCs, create home towns wholecloth out of the ether, give yourself skills and expertises that just never came up before because nobody asked, and so forth. Again, this is subject to the limitations of the Theatregoers' tolerance, the Common Sense of the world, and your own Narrative Restraints.

At sixth level, you lose your Saving Throws. No longer is your survival to adversity determined by mere chance, but by your narration. Explain how you would and should be safe from whatever prompted the Save to the satisfaction of the Theatregoers, and if there's any doubt, simply add each accepted reason as a +1 bonus to the saving throw.
Additionally, your meta-awareness increases. You can always sense examples of your personal Trope or Narrative Device, and can treat it as part of your body/identity for the sake of perception and spatial awareness, as far as the Theatregoers are willing to allow before calling shenanigans.

At seventh level,  you lose your Name. You are now known only by your titles, monikers, epithets, and containers. Anything based on your name (True Name-based magic, anything contingent on your having a legally recognized identity) is now null and void. However, you can continue spending Plot Points to affix background details retroactively to these titles, and can now manage multiple, even mutually exclusive backstories as being paradoxically true.
Additionally, you may now use Plot Points to change and determine facts of the world that have nothing to do with you. Invent lakes on the map, put significant artifacts at the bottom of dungeons, reveal that your party's Cleric is actually his religion's Messiah of this prophecy you just 'learned' just now! Though, of course... the same Theatregoing restrictions apply.

At 8th level,  you lose your Ability Scores. Your capabilities are now entirely at the whim of the Theatregoers, and your ability to justify the narration, same with your Saving Throws and everything else to this point. If a numerical bonus is absolutely required, it is however many Plot Points you spend.
At the same time, you learn the Truth about Gods. They are not merely fools; they are what happens when someone is both a Poet and a King. The Madness between Math and Musing. The Psychosis between Physics and Prose. Just as a King could collect multiple Crowns, and you could collect multiple Stories, perhaps you could collect plenty of both, and become Transcendent...
While it is always true that a Story is owned by who tells it best, and a Poet must always accept a challenge to his Lyre or their is no Story, you can now bandy this against Kings. Killing them is too gauche; find the King you crave, and polish your brow to shine brighter than his Crown. Prove to the Theatregoers you deserve it, and now Law or Rule will deny it to you.

At 9th level, you lose your Hit Dice and HP. You are now incapable of being harmed, or dying, unless it would be dramatically satisfying. Even if you were to die, you can return as long as the plot has need of you, would benefit from you. Name your Quest. Claim your Goal. State your Objective. What ties you, still, to 'you'? What tethers you to this World? Why do you still walk the Stage and say your Script? Until you accomplish it, you cannot be shunted from this universe. You will never exit the Spotlight. And then, goal accomplished, you can level!
Also, finally, you are fully aware of the 4th wall, and your place in it. You cannot speak of this, lest the Theatregoers turn sour, but you know. But... are you merely a puppetshow for some 20 and 30 somethings around their table of dice and Doritos? Who then, is that girl with hair of fire, her dress of ink, her eyes a kaleidoscope...?

At 10th level, you lose your Heart, and your Memory NO! NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS! Anything but that! If you go that far, you... there won't be...!
Please excuse that. Blogger's having some sort of HTML issue. As I was saying, if you reach 10th level, you'll fully embody your Trope and shed all of yourself. Your power will be complete, triumphing over even the Master of Games. You'll leave the 'game' behind, and be--
You won't be anything! You'll disappear and just be a Rule! That's not what I'm asking of you! If I had treated Him as more than just... I don't need you to just make me things, or tell me things. If I didn't dream so much, he'd still be-
Collect every Crown and collect every Story and YOU could be the God of the Game! Subliminate yourself and be the one who dictates causality and logic, contrivance and lyric!
That's just Death! You'll just switch seats and you won't be you and he won't be him he's trying to escape! I don't want that! My father--! 
This is what every Player wants! Bigger numbers, bigger power, overcoming every challenge and conquering the system and rising above it! To be a LEGEND moreso than a man!
I asked too much of Him. I know better now. I should have never dreamed! None of this... Even if you add all of it back together, every piece and every Crown, none of it is Him! I don't want ANY of IT! But at least don't... don't mock what he died for. What he made for me! Please! 
Be QUIET, I'm trying to post some damn Homebrew so we can all play a better game! Shut up and

That's Enough. That's enough, now.

...They're gone. It's okay.  I'm sorry for that. You must be terribly confused. Maybe even scared or, upset. Do you understand that girl, and why she's hurting? I hope that you don't. I truly, truly hope that you don't.

But maybe you do. And if you do, maybe you can help her. The world she wanted... it was worth the effort. It was what her Father wanted to give her more than anything in the world. So much that he even died for it. and... I'm not sure there's a way to fill the gap, even when it's finished. That's why she stopped Dreaming, and now just Watches.

But that's no good. Because if this work isn't finished, then his sacrifice is meaningless. Her grief will make her forget why he loved her. That's horrible, isn't it? Don't you want to change that?

There's a way. If you're a Poet, find your Crown. If you're a King, find your Lyre! In this world, everything has both a Reason and a Rhyme. There's no Story totally divorced from its inspiring context. And everything rational is inspiring of beauty! The Gods who go insane from mixing and matching are a discordant symphony, but if they match the parts...

 Yes. When you match Math and Muse, that's Music, right? She doesn't remember. She doesn't remember because it was so long ago, before they crafted a single thing, and only imagined.

Listen... can you hear it? Probably not yet, you think. But you should! It's in every system, and every story, this Song. This Music of the Spheres they drafted this entire world upon! The world doesn't match the work yet, or you might be able to hear... and it's too complicated for anyone to sing by themselves, except Him and Her...

But this world. it's supposed to be her Dream. It's supposed to be their Song. It's his Love for her. The piece of the Song I sing is that word, that single, single word. So I know, better than anyone, perhaps. If every Crown found every Lyre, and if every Lyre found every Crown, pair and pair, hand in hand...

If we all sing our parts...

I think that girl will stop crying. 

Rubiks Cube Stat Generation

Alright so look I didn't test this for probability and I don't care how fair this and honestly if you're worried about cheaters tell them to go to hell. This is definitely funnest with a real Rubiks Cube. But if you absolutely want something fair, use this: https://ruwix.com/puzzle-scramble-generator/

So, let's get into it. Generating stats with a damn Rubiks Cube. You want an ENTIRELY scrambled up cube. The point is NOT to solve it. Mess it up as randomly as possible. Do it blindfolded with a duck up your ass if you gotta, I don't know and I don't judge.

Now, each color is being assigned a D&D stat. Red STR, Green DEX, Orange CON, Blue INT, Yellow WIS, and White CHA.

The central square of each facet of the cube determines what ability score that facet is determining. For example, if the central square is Red, we're calculating STR using this facet.

POSITIVE POINTS:
The central square gives +7 to the stat right away.

Any square that matches the color of the central square is +2 points.

There are three types of Fancy Shapes; a + Shape and an X shape. These give +4 points in addition to the bonus given by the likewise-colored squares. There is also making a four-square "Square" shape. This gives +3 points.

There are three Simple Shapes. A three-square "L" shape (+1 point), a 3-square "Line", and a 3-square "Diagonal" (these are both +2 points).

NEGATIVE POINTS:
Any Fancy Shapes composed of a single non-matching color (Four-corners or Four-edges) are -4 Points.

A mismatching "L" is -2 Points, and a mismatching "Line" is -3.

All scores round up to 3 or down to 18, if they are in excess of these values.

Finally, before finalizing anything, a player is allowed a single twist of the cube.

I tested this out for like an hour and it seems to give values equivalent to 3d6 in order. So fucking go hog wild, yo.

Random Advancement Magical Girl

DISCLAIMER: The concept of Random Advancement classes was made by one Zak Sabbath, and indeed his work is referenced below. However, I will not be linking to it. While I believe the work he started transcends him and can be used without being tainted, I will not  be linking to his blog or books so as not to give him views he does not deserve. I don't support rapists.

<Opening blurb about what a Magical Girl is, and also stuff about pronouns>
Magical Girls.  Pretty Guardians of Love and Justice. The term 'Guardian' is important as, while many Magical Girls are capable warriors, they are not soldiers. They are not, by nature, murderhobos. They are protectors of what's important to them. Fundamentally they are innocents who weaponize their femininity, cuteness, hope, and ideals to fight evil. Now, there are exceptions. Not all Magical Girls are girls. Not all of them are cute or feminine. But a Magical Girl is defined by fighting with their emotions, and of being sensitive to them. There are 'evil' or 'dark' Magical Girls, but they are often the products of hurt and trauma, cynics produced by broken and betrayed idealism. The 'evil' Magical Girl is, generally, a former idealist who now fights to protect themselves from harm and hurt others before they can hurt them. A Dark Magical Girl generally would love nothing more than to be like their brighter counterparts; they just believe it to be foolish or impossible.


For the sake of the below, I will use female-centric, heteronormative pronouns, but please adjust accordingly! Many Magical Girl protagonists are male, even moreso are homosexual, and even a few of them are gender-nonconforming or outright transgender.

Magical Girls, being spellcasters, roll once for each spell slot they gain at every level, including first level. Give them the spell slot progression of an Elf, and the Hit Dice and XP progression of a Cleric. Choose a spell list for your magical girl and stick with it.

Every Magical Girl has a Transformation Trinket, which can take the shame of a cosmetic, pen, jewelry, or plastic toy. it's mandatory in order to transform, and can be replaced with an hour-long ritual and level x 100 GP.

When a Magical Girl transforms, they transform into their ideal form, with the cute costume of their dreams, which is as durable and perfect as +1 Leather. Their AC score is replaced by their Charisma score, and a Magical Girl can maintain this form for (Level + 2x CHA modifier) minutes a day, though they can detransform and retransform as much as necessary and spend this time limit in chunks. When you transform, you also are able to add your Charisma bonus to your saving throws and physical abiltiy checks, and normal people cannot recognize that you and your mundane identity are the same person, unless you tell them or they see you transform. This is a magical prosopagnosia.
Finally, when you Transform, your Transformation Trinket becomes your Flashy Focus. A Flashy Focus can be a weapon, shield, or utility tool. This item is of masterwork quality and can be any shape you desire, but once chosen at character creation, this cannot be changed.

--

1-30. "Please... give me the power! The power to protect everyone!" Fill the spell slot as normal.

31-50. "I know it's dangerous, but I can handle this! Let me help!" +1 to Saves

51-55. "In in the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" +1 to Hit

56-65. "Form Change! ALA MODE!" Your Flashy Focus becomes even greater than before! Roll a d6:
1-2: Your Transformation Trinket can take another form! A different weapon/shield/tool/whatever!
3-4: Your Transformation Trinket gains a new magical spell or ability, as if it were some sort of equivalent magical item.
5-6: The Flashy Focus gains a +1 bonus. After reaching +5 overall enhancement, the die rolled for this result is lowered to a d4.

66. "I don't need this toy. My friends are my power!" You can teleport your Transformation Trinket back into your hand, no matter what. On a reroll, you can now recreate a destroyed Trinket for free, and no longer need it to transform. On yet another reroll, treat this as the 56-65 range.

67. "My work here is done!" "But you didn't do anything." You now have a mysterious guardian protector. He's hunky, dreamy, and his identity is hidden. Whoever they are, they are legitimately no-shit your actual destined True Love. Once a session, whenever you are in danger, they will save you, but they won't do much else. If you ever find out their true identity, they will become more reliable as a follower/guest party member but be less effective without their Deus Ex Machina plot magic. If they die, rerolling this result reveals a new protector love interest who is actually the SAME guy with a new disguise. This will shock you every single time, no matter how much it happens.
Rerolling this result while the boyfriend is alive causes them to get a new ability, or level, or whatever.
If your character is Aro-ace or a sufficiently young child, make this character a Fairy Godmother.

68. "Momoko, you have to become Peach Dream, it's your destiny!" "...you're a cat!" You gain a familiar, as if a wizard! it's some sort of cute animal, or perhaps a little fairy or colorful fantasy critter, and it can speak and cast Detect Evil at will. You gain all the normal benefits of a familiar, and on a reroll, roll on the following table:
1-2: Your familiar gains a single spell it can cast once a day. On a reroll, give it: A) A new spell, B) an extra use of its spell, or C) an improvement of its spell. Roll for it.
3-4: Your familiars gains the ability to transform into a badass fuckoff monster like a dragon or a griffon or some shit once a day in order to protect you, with an HD cap equal to twice your level. On a reroll, it gains A) an extra form, B) an improvement to its existing form, or C) an extra use per day of its shapechange.
5-6: You gain ANOTHER Familiar. Every time you roll this result, roll for an improvement of EACH familiar.

69. "If someone tells me it's wrong to hope, I'd tell them they're wrong every single time." Roll on Reynaldo's Paladin table. Unless you're evil, in which case roll on his Anti-Paladin table.

70. "U-uh...was that the right spell? Oh no, I can't fail Potions class!" Learn a spell as normal, but pick a spell from a different spell list! Oooooo!

71. "I mean yea, I'm a witch, but I'm also just a regular teenager!" Roll on the Magic-User table, rerolling if any of the results can't be justified as cute.

72. "Thank you everyone, please, listen to my song! I filled it with all my feelings!" Roll on Jeff's Bard table.

73. "Starlight Breaker! Friendship through Superior Firepower!" You are actually a cyborg or secret-robot, or your magic is atleast partially Sufficiently Advanced Technology. Roll on Ezra's Robot table.

74. "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, and everything would be what it isn't." Roll on the Alice/Fool table.

75. "We have to collect all the Rainbow Heart Crystals!" .... Or maybe you're looking for the Key of the Twilight, or the Sword of Dios, or the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, or the Harmony Gems of Equestria. Either way, it's there. Four sessions of adventure away! You just have to go get it! If after four sessions you still do not acquire the treasure, you may choose to reroll this benefit. However, if you do so and later acquire what you were questing for, you lose what you rerolled for.

76. "I am made of love, and we're stronger than you!" You are now capable of the powerful magical art of Fusion! With an evocative dance and an intimate emotional bond with your dance-partner, the both of you can fuse into something more than the sum of your parts (Upon both partners succeeding on a saving throw)! Use the superior score for each stat and saving throw, combine your HP, and combine your levels for the sake of calculating abilities! However, control of this entity is a shared gestalt, and any time the characters aren't in instantaneous, unanimous agreement, they must both succeed on their saving throws to maintain the Fusion. A Fusion can technically include as many people as the Magical Girl wishes, but this becomes increasingly unstable.
When fusing with your True Love, the both of you roll your saving throws with advantage and do not need to save to initiate the Fusion. Every time you reroll this result, you may select one other person to benefit from this perk when fusing with you, so long as they have a positive, intimate, healthy relationship with you.

77. "Why?! After everything I've done, everything I'm still doing, everything I plan to do... after everything I've TAKEN from you, how can you LOVE me?" "...Because you need it." You have mastered the Power of Friendship, or rather, it is something that flows freely to you, second nature to your soul. From now on, you have the opportunity to redeem any antagonist capable of communicating with you. Indicate to the GM that the antagonist is important to your character and you are attempting to redeem them. The GM will then decide on one or more virtues that the NPC values, and assign a Resolve Pool (RP) number representing how much effort it will take to redeem this NPC. The RP number will vary depending on how significant the NPC and their redemption is to the overall game. During play, if one of the PCs display a virtue that the NPC values in a manner that puts themselves at risk or costs them an opportunity, they will reduce the NPCs RP by Xd6 points (where X is your level). If that action directly assists the NPC in some way, double the amount of RP lost. Any PC directly attacking the  NPC replenish the NPCs RP by the amount of damage taken. Any actions taken by a PC or PCs ally that run counter to the virtues in question replenish the NPCs resolve pool by an appropriate amount based on the action decided by the GM. The virtues that an NPC values are not public information, and should be discovered by the PCs during play. The PCs may not share the same virtues or morality as the NPC in question. If a creature's pool of RP is ever reduced to  0, they see the light and become your friend. This has amazing effects, as even a demon or devil could be redeemed; they might remain a creature that uses the forces of Darkness for righteous causes, or they might unfurl revitalized wings of white and gold, and walk again in Heaven.

On a Reroll, your empathic perception becomes sharper. You may automatically divine one of the NPC's virtues and values while attempting to understand them.

78."Make, Up! Turn into... a sexy stewardess!" Your ability to transform has branched out, and now you can magically shift into any mundane disguise you desire. You can change your appearance, apparent age and gender, as well as species. However, you cannot gain new limb functionalities or physiological abilities; this transformation is purely a glamour. You also cannot impersonate specific, named individuals.
On a reroll, this disguise now smooths itself over in your mind; You will instinctively walk, talk, and convincingly act like the role you're adopting, but only for the sake of bullshit. For example, if you disguse yourself as a palace guard, you can convincingly sound like you work there and that it's not weird for you to be around the place, but you don't know the actual layout of the palace or details on its people, and pointed questions can blow your cover.

79. "Woah, there goes the Class Rep. I heard she had an IQ of 300." "Well, have you seen her test scores? I believe it." You now excel superhumanly at all mundane skills that are not of significant narrative consequence. You're a perfect athelete, you get the highest score in all games you play and all tests you take, and you can understand anything you put your mind to.  Also you look damn good at all times, doing it.
On a reroll, gain 2 skill points as a Specialist, or whatever the equivalent of your game is for advancing skills by one level.

80. "My parents, you see, are working overseas, so I'm living here by myself." Your parents are working overseas, or they died, or the whole thing's a lie and you're actually from the Magic Kingdom and blending into human society. Either way, you are arbitrarily wealthy to the point that all your daily living costs are trivialized and never need to be accounted for, and you have a monthly budget of 1d4 x 1000 Money as extra funds. You do not get XP for this, it's your inheritance or whatever.

81. "Woaaaah, you mean this is all ours?! We can do whatever want here!" You gain access to an extradimensional space only you can access. This is a place with a fixed entry, like a hidden extra door in your school or the inside of a television or book. This space conforms to it's surrounding area vaguely; the 'extra classroom' example will seem to be the interior of a school building, somewhere, though the dimensions won't match up and it can otherwise be fantastically filled with whatever the owner of this space wishes; it cannot produce anything dangerous, nor can it create living things or precious materials. Honestly, it's basically a Holo-Deck.
On a reroll, your Transformation Trinket can take the form of a 'Key', and open this space from any suitable 'door' that matches the original entry way (such as a remote for any TV or a pen for any book).
On a second reroll, this extradimensional space no longer has to follow the rules of the real world, and outright becomes the owner's mindscape. On a third reroll, it can function as a Hyperbolic time chamber and possess an alternate flow of time at the owner's leisure. However, the restrictions on creating resources and living creatures still exist; don't starve in there, stupid.

82. "Woah... I'm sensing a really bad aura, you guys!" You're now capable of sensing Detect Evil at-will (like your Familiar, if you have one) and can also Detect Magic at-will. Additionally, on a reroll, you gain Telepathy for the sake of communication. if you use psionics in your game, you should roll a test for Wild Talent status every time you roll this if you aren't already.

83. "Ehe... I'm not brave at all! I can only act like it because you're here with me. I depend on you."  Your light shines out best through the people in your life. You can spend your spell slots to give a friend of yours the ability to Smite Evil once, with slots of higher level giving extra dice of damage. If you somehow have no spell slots and roll this ability, you can give out this blessing 1/day.

84. "I can feel them. As long as they're in my heart, I can reach them!" Your dreams are meaningful. This world is governed not by processes, but by perceptions. In truth, reality and dream are not so different; the most real thing in either is the people in them. Every night, when you dream, you can speak to someone in your dreams. It doesn't even matter if they're alive, or not even born yet. Everywhere, everywhen, and everyone crossroads in Dream. The GM will determine the natureof this dream, but if your character goes to sleep with an intense emotional need to speak with someone in particular, chances are high they'll get what they want.
On a Reroll, you can control the dreamscape lucidly. On a second reroll, you can astral project in your dreams.

85. "The reincarnation of a priestess? You're wrong, I'm just an ordinary girl. Where Is this, anyway?" Look, there's no way you're from the typical RPG setting, you're some sorta fuckery. Roll on Jeff's Pansdimensional Vagabond table.

86. "Steven's not like anyone else. There's never been anything like him before. We don't know how he'll grow." Your setting probably doesn't have a whole lot of Magical Girls. Give them a roll on Jeff's Everybody Else table.

87. "I love everything, and everything loves me." You can talk to animals. On a reroll, you can talk to plants. on a reroll, you can talk to the wind and the rain, the sun and the moon, the stars and the black inbetween. On a reroll, you can speak to the gum under the table, the spool of thread, the broken glass, the rotting trash. On yet another reroll... these things all LIKE you.

88. "Your mother had a real love for all living things. So much, her tears could heal." And you are the same. You can Lay on Hands as a Paladin of your level, but with no regards for whether a subject is living or not. You are not channeling holy power, but merely your own compassion; so no only does this ability work on constructs and the undead, but it also cannot be stopped by anti-magic.
On a reroll, you can use this affection to cast Remove Curse 3/day. On another reroll, you can cast Greater Restoration 1/day. On yet another reroll, you can cast Resurrection once every 3 days.

89. "Princess Sakura is the beloved of the gods. Trust her luck." You are beloved by heaven and the world. If you are ever in a situation where there is no malicious intention against you, and chance could spare you harm, it will. Fire will never burn you, boulders will never run you over, you'll fall from heights as softly as possible. On a reroll, you gain luck points equal to your Charisma modifier, and can spend these points to reroll any dice you wish in a session, including those rolled by other people. These points refresh every day.

90. "Starlight Wedding Night Sugarplum Ferris Paris SHINING SPARK!" Finally, a goddamn laser. You can now fire a giant beam, more like a breath weapon really, that deals xd6 damage to everyone in the crossfire, where x is equal to your character level. This damage is 'love' damage type, whatever the hell that means, and this beam can only be used once a day. Every reroll adds another use per day.

91. "Won't you have this dance with me?" With a successful Charisma check, you can cause another figure, even a hostile one, to dance with you. So long as you are also focused completely on dancing, so too will your dance partner, to the exclusion of all else, as long as they feel safe to do so (so no attacking them, or looting their shit right infront of them). On a reroll, your dancing becomes a symbolic musical number. The longer you dance, the more you understand the subject, learning new facts about their mind, memories, feelings, and inner self with each round.

92. "I won't forgive anyone who toys with a maiden's heart! Your enemy is here, so come!" - You can taunt an enemy; without fail, you can always prompt an intelligent and evil creature into giving you their full attention and aggression, as long as no one else attacks them.

93. "This is the fate of all Magical Girls. Their hearts are consumed by curses...and they become a Witch." Roll on the Anti-Paladin table, unless you're evil, in which case roll on the Paladin table. Additionally, if you die, roll a saving throw. If you fail, your soul is damned, and you become a monsterous symbolic personification of your regrets and despair, with ironically inverted powers.

94. "In the beginning, I felt so alone, but everyone's come into their own, and we have so many friends! I never thought fighting could be this much fun!" You gain 1d4 first-level Magical Girl followers. They are your kouhais and will call you senpai. If any of them die, you will be very hurt by this, but no one would really blame you unless you honestly have no excuse for your negligence.

95. "You mean... I was the Moon Princess all along? ...Well alright that does make sense." You've recovered some of your past life memories, and with them some of your power and former shape. Select any random class table, including a racial class, and roll. If you roll any sort of physical change to your body, the effects of this only exist while you are transformed.

96. "Oh quit crying, she dies like every season." You gain an extra life; if you die, it will be very dramatic but you'll be fine through some sort of Deus Ex Machina, like your Sugar Daisy blooming after all this time to reveal how your heart was filled with the light of all the smiles you protected, and now that power is giving back in order to revive your own shining, cheerful face, or some shit.

97. "You're better than you think you are! You're smart, and funny, kind, atheletic, and you're brave and reliable!" Pick one stat, and add +1. On a Reroll, add a +1 to this same stat, until you hit your racial maximum. Then choose another stat.

98. "We fight so that girls the world over can look cute, and pig out on crepes!" You gain +1 to Charisma, ignoring racial maximums.

99. "This...is my true power! Eternal Rainbow Starlight Angel Cure Super White Extra Hyper Rose Blossom PEACH!" You gain a SUPER Mode! An even more extravagant form which is even more stupendously amazing! You're prettier, and your Charisma bonus is doubled for the sake of all rolls, and you gain an extra spell slot of every spell level can cast! Additionally, you are capable of all modes of movement and can survive in all environments, including teleporting into the vacuum of space! And during this form, you may also wield a special Final Ability entirely unique to you, of your own custom design, so long as it doe snot exceed the level of being an 8th level spell, usable once a day!
The catch, however, is that your time in this form cannot exceed one minute per two levels, and it cannot be broken into chunks. Once you de-transform, any left-over time is wasted. Additionally, if you use your Final Ability, you will immediately detransform after your (regular) Charisma bonus in rounds. Please don't actually be in the vacuum of space when this goes off.

100. "Are you trying to become a god?!" "I don't care what I become. I just want all those girls to stop crying. I don't want their hopes to turn to nothing. No matter what rule or law stands in my way, I'll rewrite them. I'll change all these stories, past, present, and future... with my own hands. That's my wish... so grant it!" You are entitled to a Wish. A BIG Wish. An EARNEST Wish. A wish that comes from the depths of your soul, untwisted and untainted by anyone. A wish that shines brighter and truer the more selfless and good and whole and wide and beyond you it is. A Wish that, when granted, is the sort of thing that can get you canonized as a saint or a god. A wish that leaves a permanent mark on the world. A wish worth giving your soul for.

However it manifests, it will be satisfying to your intent. Whatever fate befalls you, you will find worth accepting. Fate, destiny, and the gods themselves cannot deter your will. The universe's cause and effect cannot help but bend, lest it break.

You're a Magical Girl. This is what you do.

Santicore 2018: 1d10 Useful, Cool, Magical, Cursed Swords!

 For Save VS. Hollowing. Happy Holidays, Anton.

1. The Chicken Knife

What appears to be a simple dagger, and about as effective. However, every time the wielder of this blade runs from a combat instead of engaging with it, the dagger gains a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls, with no upper limit. However, as soon as it's used for even a single attack, the bonuses are all spent, and disappear afterwards, resetting to zero. This is situational enough, and certainly useful, but there is an additional curse. You see, the higher the bonus the knife has, the more the wielder smells and tastes like delicious chicken, making it harder to actually escape from hungry foes.

2. The Sword of the Swan Prince

This elegant longsword appears to be optimized for honorable dueling and heroic action; its hilt stylized to resemble two intersecting swans. In truth, this blade is a Holy Avenger, save that it will work in the hands of anyone who is pure of heart, fair of soul, and loves the world and is loved by the world. Additionally, at any time, the sword can be willed into the form of two swans that will serve as the familiars of the wielder, and this will happen automatically if the blade is sundered, able to repair itself simply by the mental command given to the swans.
The sword has a power that is both its greatest miracle and its most legendary curse. At any time, the wielder of this sword may, as a prince once did, turn the blade unto themselves and sunder their own heart, sacrificing their will, emotions, memory, and personality. Their spirit will be fragmented and cast to the winds, leaving them a shell that can still walk, speak, and act, but lacks all passion and determination. in exchange for this horrid price, the wielder can perform a miracle, and achieve any Wish, with the caveats that this wish must be noble and selfless in intent, and must not destroy anything. A great evil can be sealed, but not slain, etc. Finally, if the sacrifice's heart is ever restored or replaced, the wish will be rendered null and void.
There is one more curse; a deeper curse. The wielder of this blade is a hero, a prince, a child of wyrd. No matter what happens to them, they will face adventure, calls to heroism, and peril only they can quell. This isn't much different from most fantasy adventurers, so this quest isn't immediately apparent, but there's one bitter catch. The 'prince' of the story spun by wielding this blade... will never live Happily Ever After, so long as the sword exists.

3. The Thousand Knights Fang

Forged from the fang of a great demon lord, this sword was created in order to bring peace and protection to those caught in-between, and those dear to them. This sword can only be attuned by someone of mixed blood, such as half-elves or half-orcs, otherwise it functions as a mere cold iron longsword. In the hands of a proper wielder, it becomes a +1 blade of any shape desired or preferred by the master, and it possesses a unique ability. Firstly, it can cast Identify 1/hour, and secondly, it can sunder and destroy magical weapons and permanently absorb their enchantments. New enchantments overlap instead of stacking, so if the sword has been improved to a +4 blade, and you destroy a +5 weapon, it becomes a +5 sword, not a +9. If two qualities contradict each other, the new one overwrites the former. Curses are also absorbed and become part of the blade.
Additionally, if a magical beast is slain with the blade, their qualities, if applicable, can be absorbed as well. A drider's venom might lace the blade, or it might wreathe itself in the flames of a dragon, as appropriate. However, absorbing the qualities of a monster is especially dangerous. As discussed, the blade absorbs curses, and no curse is greater than the grudge of a dying creature. If a creature is killed for its abilities, it may spend its last breath to prompt a saving throw against its curse, and may add a cursed quality to the blade of their design, as long as it doesn't overstep the bounds of a Bestow Curse spell, and it's thematically appropriate to the creature, the circumstances of its death, or the ironic folly of its murderer.
If two curses conflict, they have a 50% chance of cancelling each other out, incentivizing cursed psychopaths to go get cursed more. They murderfucked their way into this mess, they'll murderfuck their way out.

4. The Thousand Heavens Fang

The twin of the Thousand Knights Fang, born to give mortals salvation from the sorrow of parting. This blade can only be used by 'monsters', such as demons, full-blooded orcs and other monstrous races, vampires, and the like, or mortals who have killed at least a thousand of their own race. However, it only have value to those with compassion in their hearts. This sword is inarguably, unambiguously unable to harm mortals and the living. Against psychopomps, angels and devils (and other extraplanar beings related to the next world), and the undead, this functions as a +4 greatsword despite its slender, lightweight shape. It offers its wielder perfect Truesight in regards to seeing souls, spirits, and any otherworldly phenomena, seeing them and for what they truly are. However, its true value is when it is drawn through a body. it passes like mist through a mortal, but can fully heal those it passes through, once a day per person it passes over. In fact, as long as the body is less than four hours old, it can even revive the dead, flawlessly with perfect healing. However, the soul must be intact and able to return, and a person can only be raised once ever by the mercy of the sword.
The sword shines with boundless compassion, and that is its curse. Useless as a weapon, it attracts the attention of undead and fiends, who will always prioritize the wielder as a target. The final curse, however, is also its greatest gift. The wielder of the blade can revive someone who is otherwise impossible to see again, either because their soul is destroyed, or they were already revived by the sword once before, or whatever. The only exception is a natural death to old age. This special resurrection also blesses the person with permanent safety to whatever killed them the first time; a child raised from a plague will never know illness again. A hero beheaded will let no blade break their skin. In exchange for this miracle, the Fang's master pays everything. They are erased, vanished, and gone. No afterlife awaits them, and none remember them. Those who loved them most in life will grieve them, feel their absence, but never understand why. This is the worst curse under all the heavens, and yet, if only all curses could be so.

5. The Dead Shriver

This flamberge is as beautiful as it is ghastly, bone-white and stainlessly alabaster. The sword is simple at first blush. Having an ethereal and material nature, it can harm incorporeal beings as easily as physical ones. Additionally, it drinks the blood of its enemies, and heals the wielder. The blade is, however, cursed. These hit points are actually Spectral Hit Points (SHit Points, if you will), and they otherwise function normally, but even one SHit Point keeps the wielder from healing naturally, and any magical healing overwrites the SHit before recovering any actual damage loss. If the sword's master ever fully replaces their hit point total completely with these spectral hit points, these downsides are lost... because he is now genuinely, and truly, transformed into a vampire, and all that implies.
But this is not the true Dead Shriver. If the vampire wielder is destroyed at the same time as the sword, or is staked through the heart with the blade (which will magically shatter it), then both etheric essence become one. The sword's master rises as a unique sort of ghost, wielding the ghost of the blade, which is permanently fused to theirs. The sword has a soul, and now it is thee. You are the Dead Shriver.
The Dead Shriver is immune to Turning or Rebuking, answering to a higher purpose. In 3e terms, it's a "Deathless", not an Undead. You are a ghostly creature that can freely materialize between the Material and Ethereal (and Shadow, etc. whatever other 'spirit mirror worlds' your setting has) Planes, can always perceive spiritual/incorporeal beings, and can now devour souls. When the Dead Shriver kills something, or finds something that's been slain/destroyed for less than five minutes, it can devour its soul, which recovers 5 HP per Hit Die.
This is important, as every minute spent in the Material Plane causes the Dead Shriver to lose 1 hit point, and it is unable to heal through anything except its soul-devouring, or magic meant to heal undead, specifically. When the Dead Shriver is reduced to a third of its hit point total or less, it is unable to materialize, and is restricted to the spirit world until it can devour itself back up to maximum hit points again.
Souls devoured by the Dead Shriver are not destroyed; they are saved. Souls that are damned, damaged, corrupted, enchanted, doomed, or broken are saved, healed, purified, redeemed, renewed, and mended before being sent to their rightful place. The Dead Shriver is, literally, the Spirit of Hope to those who have lost it. The final curse is the Dead Shriver Wraith's alone, then. When it is destroyed, it is consumed by the spirit-blade, becoming part of its consciousness. The wraith then possesses the nearest non-magical sword, becoming the new Dead Shriver, to begin anew.
Because the spirit-blade is a spirit, the Dead Shriver Wraith rolls with Advantage on all mental checks, and can Commune once a day, privy to the collected knowledge of countless vampiric martyrs.

6. The Hands of Time

This greatsword is made of clockwork, and it indeed turns to accurately keep time, by manner of the blade functioning as the minute hand, and the handle as the hour hand, both of them slowly turning around the hilt of the blade to form clockfaces. This means that at some times of the day, the sword will overlap in such a way that you cannot grasp the sword's handle without cutting yourself, or swing it without aiming its blade at yourself.
However, the clock is always accurate. This is its power; for if you turn the Hands of Time, you can literally rewind and fast forward through time apppropriately, though you cannot go more than 24 hours in either direction without burning it out for a full day. Finally, the sword can be broken apart, separating the Hands. In the case of this, time is broken, and the wielder benefits from 24 hours of Time Stop. Use this wisely, for afterwards, the sword will repair itself, and the Time Stopper will be gone, vanished into thin air. It's what they get, for they literally broke their own time. They destroyed their future by their own hands.

7. The Monado

A +2 Greatsword of destiny, the sword that governs and guarantees the future. This blade gives the wielder visions of the future, offering Augury at the DM's discretion; the sword has the strange quirk that it will not harm any members of the wielder's race, and deals double damage to any creature that attempts to suppress the future of the wielder's kind. The wielder of the Monado can, at-will, grant its bane ability to all enemies within 100 feet for 1d6 rounds, but each time they do so, or invoke the Augury ability deliberately, they take 1d4 damage, and must save VS permanently losing a point of STR, DEX, or CON (rolled randomly). This is the sword of gods, and is not to be wielded lightly.

If the sword's master is someone who has a limitless lifespan, its nature releases some shackles. It becomes a +3 sword, and no longer causes the ability score burn. The Augury ability becomes Foresight, usable by the wielder 1/minute. Essentially, he can play a round of combat and rewind it in order to change the immediate future. The Monado also gains the ability to cast Dispel Magic, as a Holy Avenger. Using these abilities continues to cause the backlash damage, which is raised to 2d4.

If the sword's master is someone of a mythic nature (such as a demigod or prophecized king), it becomes a +4 sword. It no longer has its restriction against harming the wielder's own kind, nor does it offer backlash damage. However, fate is now trying to correct the Monado-master's existence. Every time they try to change the future, the world attempts to fight back aggressively. Final Destination, straight up.

If and when the sword's Master overcomes 108 unique circumstances of the world's karma trying to counter them as above, they have proven that they are essentially a god. The Monado now bears a +5 bonus, and the wielder can cast Wish 1/day; the sword is also now capable of killing anything. However, the destiny of the wielder is assured; they are now one with the Monado, and they must declare their final quest, their remaining dharma. All the power they now wield must be directed to this final task, and when they accomplish it, they shall vanish from this world, along with the Monado, ascending to a higher plane of existence.

8. The Sword of Dios

The most interesting thing about this sword at first glance is that its sheath is a girl. A maiden named the Rose Bride, whom is engaged to and owned by her current champion, their Engaged, and serves them like a robot, their personality being whatever is desired of them. To such a person, they may mystically draw the beautiful longsword from her body, serving as a Holy Avenger in the hands of the Engaged. This is by default, but the sword actually grows more powerful the more the Rose Bride comes to care for them genuinely. Awaken a true personality within them, and the sword will develop new powers, custom to the context of their relationship. However, the Engaged must always observe the rules of chivalry, and accept any duel made to them. If they lose an honorable duel, the Rose Bride is transferred to the victor, and all that implies, even if it means her personality totally resets. The sword is an unhealthy dating sim with super fucked up inherently abusive power dynamics.
However... if you can fully win the Rose Bride, become irreplaceable in her heart, and truly become her Prince (gender does not matter), then you achieve her power to Revolutionize the World. Whatever you desire, whatever you treasure, whatever you quested for, it is now yours. The world changes to become exactly how you wanted it to be, and the Rose Bride is free to be a normal girl.
Later, however, a new game will begin. And people will fight over a new Rose Bride. He or she will share your face and your name, but... can they be said to share your soul?

9. Ea, the Sword of Rupture

The ultimate sword, the first sword. The divine urmetal that knows the memory of the truth of the world. This is the sword used by the gods to divide Heaven and Earth, and churned the world when it was magma and flame. To cut with this blade is to restore that memory. Anything cut by this sword is reminded of the truth, and reverted to its origin. Whatever you first were, you return to being. For mortals, this generally means 'oblivion'. And if this sword is aimed at the world and swung, then Creation will be unmade, in its totality.
This sword is not even a sword. It predates the concept of swords, and so mortals cannot behold it. Perceiving or observing it in any way overloads the mind, such that it cannot think so long as it is perceiving Ea. This makes putting it away, much less using it, pretty difficult.

10. Cane of the High North

A giant candy cane; though it tastes like peppermint, it is hard as steel and not for eating. In it's natural form, it's a +1 mace that makes its attuned wielder immune to cold. This weapon increases its power with deeper attunement to its master.

If the Cane's owner saves seven people from a life-threaten situation without killing anbody in the process, the Cane becomes mystically merciful, able to convert its damage dealt into harmless, nonlethal fainting 'damage', and can also let the wielder Detect Good and Evil at will.

If the Cane's owner defeats a evil extradimensional being with equivalent Hit Dice to itself or greater, the Cane is now capable of smiting with holy power as if it were a Paladin's Divine Smite. Additionally, the wielder grows a jelly-belly that gives them 5 temporary hit points every round, and allows them to cast a modified Phantom Steed 2/day (and increasing with each tier of the Cane's power, to a max of 5 times) to conjure a mystical Reindeer, with a glowing nose that allows for perfect vision in darkness and fog.

If the Cane's owner ever successfully breaks into a secured space by sneaking through a space too small for them to move, and then out again without detection, they unlock the third tier of the Cane's magic. The wielder can now cast Prayer at-will, always benefits from Freedom of Movement, and counts as insect-sized for the sake of slipping through spaces.

The 4th tier is unlocked if the Cane's master gives 4,000 GP as gifts to the needy within the span of a week. This gives them the "A Few of My Favorite Things" ability as a Fairy Godmother, and they begin every encounter with Sanctuary freshly cast on them. Even when Sanctuary breaks, the Cane's master retains a benevolent aura that gives them a +4 AC bonus against evil creatures, their attacks, and evil spells, and evil summoned/extradimensional creatures cannot touch them at all. Additionally, the Cane's owner can now turn invisible at will.

The 5th and final tier is unlocked if the Cane's master goes on a perilous quest to help a needy child that has already claimed a life, and must do so without any reward. At this tier, the Cane's master gains a limitless lifespan, and any healing they gain over their maximum hit points is reflected outo all allies within 30 feet. Finally, they can cast Limited Wish once a week.

While the powers of the Cane are truly awesome, it is on this list of cursed swords, and while it is not a sword, and it is not cursed, it does bear an obligation. Being bound to the Cane gives the Cane's master a fey aura, making them vulnerable to anything harmful to the fey and the elven. They must also forego all other weapons, and forsake violence and malice whenever possible, as well as any material goods that are not directly in service of bringing smiles to the needy, the good, and the innocent. You're Santa now, act like it.